Funnies....

I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday, he said "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said "No, but I've told a donkey to f*ck off."

What's long and hard and makes women groan?
An Ironing Board.

I work for the Samaritans. I tried to call in sick this morning but they talked me out of it...

What's green and smells like yellow paint?
Green Paint.

The other day I phoned my local pizza delivery firm and asked for a thin and crusty supreme.
They sent me Diana Ross

H/T Roi Milburn