Saturday, 10 January 2009
So much for a Sparrow Shortage....
...ok these are Canadian, but we still have plenty over here.
H/T Pete Hurrell
A Spot of Verse: Illegal Immigrants Poem .....
I cross ocean, poor and broke. Take bus, to see employment folk.
Nice man treat me good in there. Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, 'You come no more, we send cash right to your door.'
Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy! NHS - it keep you healthy!
By and by, I get plenty money. Thanks to you, you British dummy!
Write to friends in motherland. Tell them 'come fast as you can.'
They come in turbans and Ford trucks, and buy big house with welfare bucks!
They come here, we live together. More welfare cheques, it gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in, but neighbour's patience wearing thin.
Finally, British guy moves away. Now I buy his house, then I say,
'Find more immigrants for house to rent.' And in the yard I put a tent.
Everything is very good, and soon we own the neighbourhood.
We have hobby, it's called breeding. Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wives need pills? We get free! We got no bills!
British crazy! They work all year, to keep the welfare running here.
We think UK darn good place. Too darn good for British race!
If they no like us, they can scram. Got lots of room in Afghanistan !
H/T Liz B
.jpg)
.jpg)
News....
Fallen American. Jules on the Battle of Antietam.
Now even police can't object to gipsy camp in picturesque village...because it's racist. Some councillors need to be 'removed'.
Ofsted said 15,000 useless teachers worked in our schools. Nine years on, how many have been fired? Just 10 The National Union of Teachers has destroyed Britains education system.
More than half of teenagers leave school without core GCSEs, league tables reveal. Thanks to the teachers.
Return of the noose: St Kitts has just hanged its first man for a decade and believes it is the only way to beat violent crime. And they are right.
Even rapists and paedophiles are being let off with a slap on the wrist in a grotesque parody of justice. Another part of British life wrecked by Labour.
National intern scheme to help graduates through the recession. Sounds like slave labour. There again most graduates are as think as s**t and not fit for much else.
BBC rates entertainment over accuracy. Accuracy and the truth have never been the BBC'c strong points.
Family of Afghan rape victim cut her open and removed foetus without anaesthetic. Savages.
Metropolitan Police accused of protecting staff against rape allegations. Protecting their own.
Gaza: international plan hatched to bring back Fatah. Using French and Turkish Troops. I can think of two less trustworthy nations to bring this about.
$3m ransom drops in for Somali pirates. Piracy pays! This is hardly going to discourage future piracy attacks.
Twins not his, but man must pay child support. WTF. I can see this coming over here.
Why are we kept in the dark about OUR war? Good question from Clarkypoos.
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Words of Wisdom In Crisis Mode....
The next time the poo hits the fan, remembering some of these eternal words of wisdom will help you tolerate the stench a little better.
1) Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2) You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
3) There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4) Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5) Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
6) Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
7) The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8) The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
9) Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
10) Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.
11) Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12) Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
13) Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14) I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15) Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
16) All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
17) If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
18) One-seventh of you life is spent on Monday.
19) By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
20) Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
21) The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
22) There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
23) This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it.
24) Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
25) The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realize it’s a “do it yourself” thing.
H/T DML
Friday, 9 January 2009
WTF!!!!
Yes it is real.
'A young inventor has created a motorbike with a twist -- it uses two wheels but they are positioned right next to each other, giving it the illusion of being a powered unicycle. And even better, it might help save the planet.
Ben Gulak has spent several years building the electric Uno that uses gyroscopic technology -- like the infamous Segway commuter device -- to stay upright.
The bizarre-looking contraption has only one switch -- on or off -- and is controlled entirely by body movement. The rider leans forwards to accelerate to speeds of 25 mph and back to slow down. It has two wheels side-by-side and has been turning heads wherever it has been ridden.'
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
Toy of the Day....
Taranis Unmanned Combat Air Vehicle (UCAV) Demonstrator. Let's hope the Government fund the bloody thing. We need it but without a major increase in defence funding we will not be getting a lot of the kit our boys desperately need.
H/T Kirk
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
News....
Starved to death in an NHS hospital: Damning inquiry highlights case of patient left without food for 26 days. Someone should face criminal charges for this.
Sainsbury's posts best ever Christmas as shoppers turn to the cut price 'Basics' range. Oh yes. All the supermarkets have raised the prices of their 'basics' by about 25% so do't be fooled into believing they are cheap.
Unmanned stealth bomber could have been UFO responsible for destroying wind turbine. I wish! The odds on our military getting anything unmanned and stealthy are zero.
Pictured: The amazing tin can bomber made by British pilot in Great Escape POW camp. Hopefully it will go to a museum.
Al-Qaeda's Pakistan chief and senior aide killed. Scratch another two. Interestingly their were both Kenyans. Where else have I heard of a Kenyan Muslim?
Iran denounces BBC's new Persian channel. Let the Top Gear boys loose on The Iranians. The Mullahs would be out by the end of the month.
Barack Obama 'open to talks with Hamas'. Talking to Terrorists already.
Nato warning for Russia over 'political' gas crisis. Putin is nothing more than an old Soviet Bully Boy. We must stand up to him.
UN calls for immediate ceasefire in Gaza. The people in Darfur and Zimbabwe must be very 'impressed'. Thousands are being killed in these countries with no hope of salvation from the UN, yet drop a bomb on a Palestinian Terrorist and the 'United Nations' are sticking their nose in.
Whistlestop Brown on the wrong track. There is going to be one hell of a train wreck
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
A Poem ....
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule,
For this great nation under God
Finds public mention of him odd,
Any prayer a class recites
Now violates the bill of rights;
Any time my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now.
Teach us of stars, of pole and equator
But make no mention of their creator;
Tell us of exports in Denmark and Sweden
But not a word of what Eve did in Eden
The law is specific, the law is precise
Praying out loud is no longer nice;
Praying aloud in a public hall
Upsets believers in nothing at all.
In silence alone can we meditate
And if God gets the credit.... great!
This rule, however has a gimmick in it:
You've got to be finished in less than a minute;
So all that I ask is a minute of quiet
If I feel like praying, then maybe I'll try it;
If not, oh Lord, this plea I make,
If I die in school, my soul you'll take.
This version is simply signed "Anonymous"
'Borrowed from Curmedgeonly & Skeptical
H/T M Kohl
Outrageous Traffic Accident Excuses......
“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
“The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.”
“I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”
“I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.”
“He applied brake and his car stopped, I applied brake and my car didn’t stop.”
“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.”
“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.”
“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.”
“When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”
“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”
“As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.”
“The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.”
H/T DML
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Excuse for Bride Totty....
.jpg)
'It was the happiest day of my life.
Arrived at church.
Wife waiting at altar.
Walked up the aisle.
Kissed her on the cheek.
Smiled. And closed the f**kin lid!'
H/T Shelly
.jpg)
.jpg)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
