Saturday, 28 February 2009
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Denny's new breakfast special......
In honor of the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new Breakfast meal:
You get fourteen eggs, no sausage,
And the guy next to you has to pay the bill.
H/T Don Emslie
The start of the rot....
...I forget who was in the White House!
Click to enlarge
H/T Chad
Original article is HERE
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News....
Lloyds chief executive in line for £10 million payout. Greedy 'banker'!! The politicians and bankers are ripping off the taxpayers.
Speaker Michael Martin took wife on taxpayer-funded trips to Hawaii and Bahamas. Time they were dragged from the commons and thrown into the gutter where they belong.
Mandelson in new 'favours' row: The minister, his PR pal and six meetings before Heathrow go-ahead. Mandy Pandy is a crook and always has been.
Hands-free mobile phones are 'more dangerous than drink-driving'. Is there anything that isn't dangerous.
9-0 and no more! PC rule could blow the whistle on crushing defeats in children's football. More bull from a bunch of liberal losers.
Wardens ticketed parked car seven times before noticing the driver was DEAD inside the vehicle. Cash before compassion.
The minister's face smarted and blushed like a spanked buttock. How do these fools sleep at night?
Storyteller Danny doesn’t do drizzle. Clarkypoos on the Oscars.
Military to use new gel that stops bullets. Custard has similar properties.
Mugabe birthday party to cost $250,000. He should ask Brown for a 'bail-out'.
Gordon Brown has as little shame as Sir Fred Goodwin. Cut from the same cloth. Both are Scottish which may or may not have something to do with it.
Gordon Brown pins his hopes of recovery on Barack Obama. Those Marxist Muppets will wreck western civilization.
Nightlife returns as Baghdad becomes secure. What next lap-dancing clubs?
The West Africa Connection: how drug cartels found new routes. Africa is a shambles.
The Obama Revolution. Will cost us dear.
Veteran mental care 'a disgrace'. We need to build more hospitals and care homes for veterans. Sheltered housing would also be good. There are plenty of empty MoD houses that could be used.
Councils in 'ghost town' warning. The politicians have all been bought off by the out of town developers. Once a high street goes it is gone forever.
and finally.
Mayor who sent watermelon e-mail says he'll resign. Thou shalt not mock the 'Obamessiah'.
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Life's little ironies......
1. Online pop-ups offering to help you get rid of online pop-ups advertisements.
2. When your Seeing Eye dog goes blind.
3. Needing to pay someone to help you pay your taxes.
4. That Valentine’s Day was placed in February, just in case single people who have recovered from the loneliness that Christmas and New Year’s Eve induced.
5. That even the fanciest restaurants suffer from pest-control problems.
6. Wondering who was rude enough to leave an empty roll of toilet paper and then remembering it was you.
7. Tipping the bartender for handing you a bottle of beer, but giving nothing to the guy who pumps your gas in the pouring rain.
8. That we judge balding men by the choices they make in coping with their baldness.
9. That finding your roach traps empty only adds to your fear that they don’t work, instead of reassuring you that you don’t have roaches anymore.
10. That all good things come to an end, but some mediocre things seem to last a very long time.
11. When you wish, as you blow out the candles, is that this be the last birthday you spend with the people around you.
12. Cults that build up huge arsenals, refuse to pay taxes, and complain that the FBI is watching over them.
13. People who refuse to see a psychologist because they don’t need to pay someone to help them out with their issues, but will gladly spend $100 a week at a tanning salon.
14. What most telescopes are used for.
15. When your fear of overpacking causes you to underpack.
16. Paying a toll to cross a bridge when you know you’re going in the wrong direction.
17. The fact that many old people are forced to live out the remainder of their lives in formerly good neighbourhoods.
18. Paying three bucks for a cup of soda that’s 70 percent ice.
19. That the most intense laughter you have usually comes at the least appropriate time.
20. Wondering if you are entitled to the deep sense of loss you feel when a celebrity you admire dies.
21. That you wouldn’t have the faintest idea if your accountant was ripping you off.
H/T DML
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For all you golfers out there…
...the top 10 caddy comments.
#10
Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “I don’t think you can keep your head down that long.”
#9
Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”
#8
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”
#7
Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”
#6 Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”
#5 Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It ’s not a watch - it’s a compass.”
#4 Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.”
#3 Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?”
Caddy: “The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.”
#2 Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”
#1 Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”
H/T DML
Friday, 27 February 2009
Now this is taking the piss!!
Ryanair mulls charge for toilets. You have to admire O'Leary because he really does like to see how much s**t his passengers will take. Idea: Clothes are heavy and therefore not fuel efficient so why not let naked passengers fly free and charge the rest per item of clothing.
H/T DML
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Shred the Fred.....
I'm keeping EVERY penny! You knew all about my £693,000 a year pension deal, Sir Fred tells Labour. This perfectly sums up the banking professions attitude to the public. The government really f**ked up here.
Picture Lakelander
A Couple of Blogposts.........
Rendezvous with Scarcity at Maggie's Farm
Too Tough On Crime at Jules.
and
A Cheaper Solar Concentrator. Solar power needs to be cheaper and this could do it. (H/T JM Heinrichs)
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar......
After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .'
The other guy responds proudly, 'Yes, that I am!'
The first guy says, 'So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be'?
The other guy answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'
The first guy responds, 'So am I!'
'Sure and begorra. And what street did you live on in Dublin?'
The other guy says, 'A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.'
The first guy says, 'Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going'?
The other guy answers, 'Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course.'
The first guy gets really excited and says, 'And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate'?
The other guy answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'
The first guy exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight.. Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!'
About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'
Vicky asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian'?
'The Murphy twins are pissed again.'
H/T Pete Hurrell
Britain's most unfortunate names......
The Telegraph researchers have put together a list of unfortunate names of British people.
BRITAIN'S MOST BIZARRE NAMES:
* Barb Dwyer
* Pearl Button
* Ray Gunn
* Helen Back
* Stan Still
* Jo King
* Lee King
* Terry Bull
* Mary Christmas
* Max Power
* Paige Turner
* Sonny Day
* Tim Burr
* Teresa Green
* Will Power
* Anna Sasin
* Chris Cross
* Doug Hole
* Justin Case
* Barry Cade
Worldwide:
* Anna Prentice
* Annette Curtain
* Bill Board
* Carrie Oakey
* Dr Leslie Doctor
* Dr Thoulton Surgeon
* Dr Payne
* Les Plack
* Priti Manek
* Dr Sumey
H/T DML
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