There could be a lot of posts tommorrow as I have over 200 emails backed up.
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Saturday Night is Bath Night.....
FIREARMS FOR LIBERALS
It has been discovered that Republicans secretly inserted new gun control laws into the stimulus package. The gun dealer must inquire as to whether the buyer voted for Obama and if so, must sell him the new gun for liberals . . .
They anticipate great success in states like New Hampshire, Connecticut, New York, Massachusetts and parts of California.
H/T Stormbringer
Video: Lego Silence of the Lambs: Put the F-ing Lotion in the Basket
Caution: Language. But it is bloody clever.
H/T Pete H
Comparing Obama-Lincoln.....by Rico
Another GREAT comparison of OBAMA and LINCOLN.
Sure doesn't sound anything like the hopey-changeytude emanating from the Messiah's orifice on a daily basis to me.....
Kicking us while we're down.......by Rico
Billary's BEST FRIEND in the world (after themselves, of course) CHINA, is certainly NOT missing the chance to kick us while we're down....but without the sympathetic "I feel your pain" remark, and a bit too much glee in their kicks that clearly say "I sure hope THIS really hurts!"
Beijing's Governor of the People's Bank of China ZHOU Xiaochuan, taking full advantage of the "Kick Me" signs Obama-Geithner-Bernanke seem to be wearing proposes that we need a new world reserve currency and that some Central Banks give up control over their reserves and operations to a "Global" currency/unit/fund (managed by the IMF? the UN?).
This from the MOST secretive and non-transparent bankers in the world (the Swiss can only envy the Chinese here)!
Well......if George Soros and the Useless Nitwits like the idea, it must indeed be VERY BAD NEWS for the likes of you and I.
Top holders of US debt:
I'm not completely unsympathetic to Chinese 'concerns' over holding so much US Gov't debt and their doubts about the future of the US dollar (being paid back in devalued dollars, or being paid back at all), especially considering that the US Government "owes" itself roughly $4.806 trillion (swapping the immortal Wimpy's "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" routine for Obama's metrosexual "I'll gladly repay you someday for more money today"), followed by the Chinese with roughly $1.4 trillion. These numbers are climbing.
I'd seriously consider suggesting that we join the Fwench in the EU like Bulgaria and Romania did in 2007, BUT WITH THE OBAMA BUDGET WE DO NOT QUALIFY FOR EU MEMBERSHIP!!!!!
They require a national budget deficit less than 3% and a national debt less than 60% of GDP. We aren't even close.
So THANKS TEAM OBAMA for yet more hope and change!!!!! In less than 100 days you have made America as ineligible for membership in the EU as Albania! THAT'S CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN!!!
- I wonder if we can get Zimbabwe to 'adopt' us now?
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Jenson's Pole Sitter!
Jensen Button secures pole position for Australian GP as Lewis Hamilton flops. The most exciting grid for years.
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Video: Local News Birthday Wishes Failure......
...once they start they can't stop even as they realise the names are bogus.
Local News Birthday Wishes Failure - Watch more Funny Videos
News.....
Immigrant Minority Persecuted......by the Swiss! Jules finds all the good stories.
Two hundred British schoolchildren identified as potential terrorists. Deport the teachers responsible.
'Holy Mary, Help Us in Our Hour of Need!'. Bloody hell.
We're not handing over the Falklands: Brown's vow as he meets Argentinian leader. No s**t.
As the rest of Britain fights for its financial life, teachers demand a four-day week AND 10% pay rise. Due to the appalling state of British education most of them should be sacked.
Why shouting at your children is as bad as smacking them. Oh for f**ks sake.
Queen is not amused by Brown's Royal succession plan. Nobody is amused by Brown.
British engineer blows away land speed record for wind-powered vehicles after 10-year quest. Cool.
This is an earlier video of it.
Time for the Tories to get horrible. Not sure they have it in them.
G20 summit: Thousands to protest in London. This should go tits up.
MoD criticised for building abandoned 'super hangar'. The MoD are bloody useless.
Hunt for war criminal Ratko Mladic stretches to Kenyan beach. So does the hunt for Obama's birth certificate.
Russia sets up military force in Arctic claim. The Canadians may need some help.
Britain opens new embassy in Zimbabwe. For that money we could have sent the Paras on a long weekend break to Zim and got rid of Mugabe.
Thailand will not try pirates who killed British man for murder. Then the British should stop going there.
British soldiers victims of a mental conflict without end. A disgrace. Our troops deserve far better treatment.
Barack Obama offers new strategy to tame Pakistan. He had better up the defence budget.
Is there any gold inside Fort Knox, the world's most secure vault? No one seems to have checked.
Treasury reserves will have to be raided to fund Afghan surge. Stop wasting money on bent bankers and increase the defence budget.
Grade inflation gone wild. Drinking raises grades!!
the Clarkypoos Bit......
I learnt a lot at school but not from a teacher.
Top Ten U.S. weird sex laws......
1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.
2. In Virginia, it is illegal to have sex with the lights on.
3. It is illegal for husbands in Willowdale, Oregon, to talk dirty during intercourse.
4. Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia.
5. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.
6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.
7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.
9. It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65.
10. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.
H/T DML
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JOB INTERVIEW........
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India . . .
The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Manager, I am ready"
The manager said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow ', this is Mujibar."
Mujibar now works at a call center.
No doubt you have spoken to him . . . I know I have.
H/T Stormbringer
Friday, 27 March 2009
Promo Feature:
2009 Major League Gaming Season Opener At the Meadowlands!
Major League Gaming (MLG) is the largest organized league and international sanctioning body for the world's fastest growing competitive sport: professional video gaming.
Major League Gaming Pro Circuit
April 3-5
Meadowlands Expo Center [355 Plaza Dr - Secaucus, NJ]
Friday April 3rd highlights include:
10:30am - 1:30pm: Morning tailgate w/ free hot dogs!
6:45pm: STR8-Rippin (2008 National Champions)
9:15 pm: Final Boss vs. The Incredibles (Ogre twins face each other for the first time ever)
10:30pm: Instinct (2008 2nd place finishers)
10:30pm: The hottest and most practiced team in the offseason with veteran Strongside and newcomer ace—Status Quo—face off against Karma’s new team, New Order
Meet the Pros, get your game on, and drink Dr Pepper.
Dr Pepper Gamer
PLAY-A-PRO-- Spectators will have the chance to play against MLG's #1 ranked team Str8 Rippin.
AUTOGRAPH & PHOTO SESSION-- Spectators will have the chance to meet Str8 Rippin, get autographs and take photos with their favorite players from Str8 and the Dr Pepper girls.
GIVEAWAYS-- The Dr Pepper girls will be giving away backpacks and other cool Dr Pepper merchandise throughout the action packed weekend.
Compete in Halo 3 FFA and Gears of War 2 Wingman competitions on Fri/Sat! The top finishers will play in a finals match to fight for $1,000 in total prizes.
MLGpro.com free live streams:
- Pregame Show :: Friday, April 3 8:00 - 8:45 pm ET
- Friday Night Kickoff :: Friday, April 3 9:00 - 11:45 pm ET
- ESPN Saturday Night :: Saturday, April 4 7:30 - 10:00 pm ET
- MLG Championship Sunday :: Sunday, April 5 3:00 - 7:15 pm ET
Editors note: I am posting this on trust. Any complaints stick in the comments.
Question for the night?
Why the f**k can't I access this link Anna Kournicova etc. For a few weeks I cannot get past the pop up ad. The same is for Uncoached. Both sites are good friends of ours. Is it my browser or an only UK thing. Any suggestions would be welcome.
PS it doesn't work on vista and XP or using firefox on both.
Update: Have just reset my IE setting to default and it seems to be fixed. I now have to spend half the night remembering all my different log ins and passwords. So much for an early night.
You are not welcome, Fatso.....
John Prescott's 'bloody Norfolk' comment sparks anger. I for one do not want this fat pig ignorant asshole living in my county.
Very Early Bedtime Totty....
...due to work and some really long lunches I am way behind with my emails. Am going to have a mega posting day tomorrow. As for today I am going to have a 'couple' of beers and catch up on some TV.
A farmer's divorce.......
A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?”
The farmer said, “Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.”
The attorney said, “Well do you have any grounds?”
The farmer said, “Yea, I got about 140 acres.”
The attorney said, “No, you don’t understand, do you have a case?”
The farmer said, “No, I don’t have a Case, but I have a John Deere.”
The attorney said, “No you don’t understand, I mean do you have a grudge?”
The farmer said, “Yea I got a grudge, that’s where I park my John Deere.”
The attorney said, “No sir, I mean do you have a suit?”
The farmer said, “Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays.”
The exasperated attorney said, “Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?”
The farmer said, “No sir, we both get up about 4:30.”
Finally, the attorney says, “Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?”
And the farmer says, “Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her.”
H/T DML
Friday Funny.....
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol &Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing ou t on a flesh &blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately y on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making me owing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?
IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
P..s... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!
H/T Jackie G
Letter to Miliband MP (one of the educated idiot government tossers)
Rt Hon David Miliband MP
Secretary of State,
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA),
Nobel House
17 Smith Square
London SW1P 3JR
16 May 2007
Dear Secretary of State,
My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs. I would now like to join the "not rearing pigs" business.
In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy. I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these?
As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven't reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this? My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is - until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any.
If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department.
Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases? Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don't rear?
I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send any information you have on that too.
Please could you also include the current Defra advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)? In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits. I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election.
Yours faithfully,
XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX
The names have been deleted to protect the cheeky:
H/T Killem
Light News....
Labour red tape 'has cost business £77billion'. And ruined the country.
Sri Lankan postmaster who refused to serve non-English speakers is sacked. An effing disgrace. More bullying from the Islamonazis.
NHS bosses award themselves inflation-busting 7.5pc rises (but nurses get just 1.9pc). Time to crop these 'bosses'.
Britain's broke, Labour's finished: mission complete, Agent Harman. The woman is a total nutter.
Police warn of 'unprecedented' threat to London from over 2,000 G20 protesters. Let the Army 'deal' with them.
US deploys warships as North Korea prepares to launch missile. This could get interesting.
Japan ready to shoot down any North Korean missile. How many does N Korea have?
Britain to send more troops to Afghanistan. They are needed.
Taliban blocks UN polio treatment in Pakistan. We must be prepared to eradicate the Taleban.
US backing for world currency stuns markets. Obama is out to destroy the US.
China says US defence report is 'gross distortion of facts'. They would.
Mystery of Israel and an attack in Sudan. Reaching out and 'touching'.
President Lula of Brazil blames crisis on 'white and blue-eyed'. Are you going to take anybody called Lula seriously.
Berlusconi unites with Mussolini's heirs. Europe is swinging to the right. At last.
Pirates move to new hunting grounds. Bring back the 'Q' Ships.
Marriage Definitions.......
BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.
GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.
HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.
HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.
JOINT BANK ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.
LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.
SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single in the first place.
WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.
H/T DML
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History according to sixth graders....
The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling!
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.
7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”
8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
9. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen,” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”
10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
14. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
H/T DML
Thursday, 26 March 2009
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Idiocy.........from Rico
SHOCKA!! I know, but MORE "IDIOCY" emanating from the black-hole of IDIOCY...namely Washington, DC...this time emanating from (multiple choice, pick one):
a. - Our current defeatist, America-hating, Leftist, Secretary of State
b. - The Hildebeast
c. - Hitlery
d. - Stalin-reincarnated-in-a-pantsuit
e. - DIPSHIT!
f. - All of the above.
SHE has declared that Mexican Drug Wars Are Our Fault and the US to blame for ALL the guns in Mexico!
Gee, I sure am glad she cleared THAT up for me! I'd be so disappointed if she would have let the facts get in the way of a really big whopping lie like this!!!
Top Ten Rejection Lines.....
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Women (and what they actually mean..)
10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance”)
9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)
8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you
may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing)
6. I’ve got a boyfriend (who’s really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben & Jerry’s)
5. I don’t date men where I work (Hey bud, I wouldn’t even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building)
4. It’s not you, it’s me (It’s not me, it’s you)
3. I’m concentrating on my career (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I’m celibate. (I’ve sworn off *only* the men like you.)
…..and the #1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)
1. Let’s be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Men (and what they actually mean..)
10. I think of you as a sister (You’re ugly)
9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly)
8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly)
6. I’ve got a girlfriend (You’re ugly)
5. I don’t date women where I work (You’re ugly)
4. It’s not you, it’s me (You’re ugly)
3. I’m concentrating on my career (You’re ugly)
2. I’m celibate (You’re ugly)
….and the #1 rejection line given by men:
1. Let’s be Friends (You’re SINFULLY ugly!)
H/T DML
News.....
What kind of president thrives on chaos? One who hates his country.
As teenage pregnancies soar, the Government's answer... abortion ads on television. Morality is not one of the government's priorities.
Hunted in Bangladesh... the terror suspect freed twice by courts in Britain. The only people who have to fear British Courts are the innocent.
Fat cats in terror after anti-capitalists attack Fred the Shred's home. Let them pay for their own security.
Council 'calls pensioners racists' for objecting to cost of tidying up after travellers. Ridiculous.
Pubs must offer smaller glasses of wine to cut drinking, says Government. So just stick a straw in the bottle.
Exit Winston Churchill, enter Twitter ... Yes, it's the new primary school curriculum. More crap from Ofsted.
MEP Dan Hannan's 'Brezhnev apparatchik' attack on Gordon Brown is a YouTube hit. Thank god for the internet and bloggers. The media spent the first 24 hours ignoring this video now they are playing catch up.
US trains 'Dad's Army' to take on the Taliban. They don't like it up 'em.
Monster burger containing 4,800 calories unveiled in US. A light lunch!
North Korea 'places' missile on launch pad. Makes it sound like a tee shot. Next they will be addressing it.
EU presidency: US and UK economic recovery plans are 'a way to hell'. When I agree with the EU you know we are in trouble.
Obama forced to fight own party to save economy. The Democrat Self Destruct Button has been pressed.
Pakistani region where the brutal Taleban have taken control. We are not going to win this by 'playing fair'.
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