Stephen Green & I tackled the airforce1 over NYC debacle on PJTV.
And have a gander at this week's Meet the Blogs.
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Airfarce1, Teaparties & Pelosi's dubious memory... with added photoshop fun
Film Review: 'Splinter'.......
I went into this not expecting too much. It's a stock independent horror film with a rudimentary plot and stars the chick from
continue reading...
Ten Rules for Dating My Daughter....
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilising a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
H/T DML
News.....
Don't blame us! As expenses scandal rocks Westminster, the all-too predictable response from our rulers. The government is finished. They should go now.
Make them pay the money back, sack the spivs who let them get away with it - and put the thieves on trial. Well said.
Osprey to Deploy With New Firepower. We could use some of them.
Village cricket club knocked for six after travellers park their caravans on their pitch just before season begins. Boot them off.
Trader guilty of Britain's worst animal cruelty case can still keep horses. Jail him.
Queen's Trinity Cross medal scrapped... because it's 'too Christian'. Oh crap!
War hero wins the battle of Trafalgar Square - but only for six months. It should be permanent.
Sarkozy lavishes U.S. with praise in Victory Day speech, but makes no mention of British sacrifice in World War Two. Ungrateful frog.
White House aide resigns over Air Force One NY low flyover. He should have been sacked.
Army set to reach full strength due to recession. We should double the size of our forces.
Warship sent to protect Seychelles from pirates. Hit their bases.
Police may use water cannon to control violent demonstrations. Give them super soakers.
and finally....
I’d fly ‘I’ll Take My Chances Air’. Clarkypoos on flying.
The ditch carp of democracy. by P J O'Rourke
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Friday, 8 May 2009
Marketing in a recession
Jonathan Gabay on how to market in a recession
What marketers should do in a recession from Jonathan Gabay on Vimeo.
Great News...
Dumb and dumber are ditching their chat show due to low ratings. It seems their previous viewership were unable to find their new location on the TV dial.
For some of their brain-numbing highlights please head here where I have compiled some of their most impressive.
Playboy MMO?
Playboy, yes that one, is going to have its own Massively Online Roleplayer game, according to Massively. Not quite sure what the game is going to entail, but it should sell well.
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Thursday, 7 May 2009
EU costs UK $55M every day!
Many British voters may vote for the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) on June 4th.
Bedtime Totty...
..I am letting my editors loose on this blog for a day or two because I am knackered. So hold on for the ride.
British & American Propaganda
Soul Traders author, Jonathan Gabay, has just issued this newsletter:
You can now submit your own "government lies" - click here
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Coming OR Going............from Rico
It's COMING!
Let's see how things are going with that whole Dopey-Hopey-Changey thing a critical mass of gullible morons "bought" into?
While dining on $100/# steak, and 'saving' us all from ourselves and that pesky "freedom" thing into the bargain, the pResident and the ever-so-classy Lady McBethMichelle (how classy is it to wear $545 sneakers to a homeless charity event, huh?) continue to lead their "Team" in the first intentional drive-by shooting of America-the-nation by it's own President.....excuse me, pResident. He may have turned the White House (casa blanca) into the "Red Shed" but he's not MY President. Never will be. He does not represent me. Setting aside what could well be a separate rant...I will stop digressing now.
Having "fixed" the banks with a bailout, today we learn that Citibank 'needs' more taxpayer money. Only a mere $10 billion. It looks like the 40# brains at Bank of America are more buttsore than Citi, needing another $34 billion of OUR money (well, it 'used' to be our money once).
And I do NOT want to discuss that whole "fix" Detroit thing today.
Instead let's talk about the "news" that now 22% of American homeowners are 'under water' (have negative home equity) thanks to the Democrats(C) systematically looting Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in sorta plain view, and destroying the national housing market with lunatic notions of guaranteed home ownership for even those too stupid to breathe...but an invaluable and rock-solid voting block for them (and most of them ARE rock-solid, above the neck anyway
...with apologies to real rocks here).
National FREE healthcare. That's really going to "work" well for us. Why? Because they SAY it will. Just trust them, sheeple. Big Mommy and Daddy government is on it! Do as we say, and not as we do. It's for the common good. It's only fair. And you were so incandescently STOOPID to vote us into power, you have proven you need us to think for you!
Yeah, and also watch for this one next...the First Comrade and his comrades in delusional-leftist, reality-avoidance, dream team will no doubt guarantee that we ALL get to equally, fairly, and for FREE have the same place to live as our fellow comrades do!!!!
YAY!!! All the benefits of the Chinese lifestyle, right here at home! Don't those tenements....er, free public housing units look absolutely fetching? Having been to Shanghai, I can tell you with certainty that our home-grown Communists (D) have the potential to 'improve' upon what the chinese have taken thousands of years to perfect! And in ONLY 100+ days, just LOOK look at what already has been accomplished!!!
I'm considering GOING. I always was very fond of Costa Rica, but
need to polish my Spanish first. Under the last POTUS, whom I now call Jorge Arbusto, this was becoming painfully obvious anyway...I mean the need to have to learn Spanish to live in America (making illegal immigration, not just legal but patriotic is coming back again too, mind you; george romero has nothing' on zombies that cannot be surpassed by the Democrats (C); truly we are seeing a live version of "Night of the living Dead" today)!
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
Jonathan Gabay On ITV News
Jonathan Gabay, author of Soultraders, has been on British television news. He held some discussions with those who have been affected by Swine 'flu.
Video: Paz Vega Sexy Scene with Director's Interview
Paz Vega will also be tonights bedtime totty.....
H/T Garrett
Light News.....
Which Royal's backing Gurkha battle? Mystery over who sent letter of support to Joanna Lumley. I am guessing the whole Royal family and most Englishmen.
10p tax hike needed 'to rescue British economy'. Brown has destroyed Britain. He must be held to account.
Brown set to axe Jacqui Smith and Hazel Blears in ruthless cabinet reshuffle. He should axe himself.
The PC Pc who refused to sit on a mountain bike for photocall... because he hadn't passed his cycling proficiency test. Bloody pansy!
Britons face working until 70 to help bring public debt under control. Enslaved by socialism.
Male worshippers like to sing 'macho songs' in church. Cue for a hymn.
Fur flies over racist name of Dambuster's dog. As we mentioned yesterday. They must not be allowed to rewrite history.
Zimbabwe activists sent back to prison. So much for change.
Pakistan 'is taking US for a ride', India believes. No sh*t!
Who would you kick out of Britain? Let's start with liberals and work our way one rung up the evolutionary ladder to socialists.
Exodus in Pakistan as Taleban seizes Mingora in Swat Valley. Time to think WMD!
Freedom dies in Britain......
Michael Savage banned in Britain. I don't really know much about him but he should not be barred from Britain by our Stalinist Home Secretary. I wonder if this originated in the Red Shed!
H/T Nebraska Bob
HOLISTIC MEDICINE......
Ahkmed came to the United States from the Middle East and he was only here a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.
Finally, he went to an Arabic doctor who said: "Take dees bocket, go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."
Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes.
Coming back to the doctor he said, "It worked.. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?"
The doctor said . . ."You were homesick"
H/T Stormbringer
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