Europeans chafe under New Year 'nanny state' laws. The EU must be stopped. Between them and 'Joseph' Brown by the end of the year we will be living in a Gulag!!
H/Ts Nebraska Bob and Diminished Expectations
Friday, 4 January 2008
MAN'S LOVE POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge
boobs who owns a bar on a golf course and
loves to send me fishing and hunting.
This doesn't rhyme but I don't give a s**t.
You will find the Women's version at Lady Jane's
News....
Letter from Kenya: Gang Raped, Foreskins Cut Off, Severed Heads Impaled on Sticks. There goes another African state.
Muslim leaders back Ken Livingstone as London mayor. No surprises there.
England is the most crowded country in Europe. Hardly surprising as we let anyone in these days.
Hubby ‘burned wife’s undies’. So that's what you call hot pants!!
More people died violently in Great Britain over New Year’s Eve than in Baghdad. Parts of Britain would benefit from a 'Surge'.
Sicknote generation: Half a million under-35s 'too sick to work' are claiming incapacity benefits. National Service will cure them.
Democracy - ring any bells, Gordon? Littlejohn on real democracy.
It's Huckabama! Gerard Baker on the Iowa result.
20,000 jobs under threat as Indian company buys Land Rover and Jaguar in £1 billion deal. RIP British Industry.
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Lesson for the Day...
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
Thursday, 3 January 2008
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Welcome to the NHS.......
...beware Hilarycare!!
How doctors lie on death certificates to hide the true scale of the toll from hospital infections.
H/T Mark Scott
A Spot of News....
Has global warming stopped? I wasn't aware it had started!!
The 40 Most Obnoxious Quotes Of 2007.
Returning troops strip on airport tarmac after uniform ban. Oh for f**ks sake.
Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister! A Manifesto.
£7 more to fill up your petrol tank: As oil tops $100 a barrel, the £5 gallon nears. Regime change in Iran and Venezuela should get the price of oil down.
21 underage schoolgirls get pregnant every day. Why aren't they prosecuted for having underage sex?
Losing data 'should be a criminal offence'. A bit bloody late!!
Britons 'love fast food more than Americans'. Hardly surprising if you look around when you walk down the street. Fat, ugly and ignorant is becoming a 'status symbol'.
Kenya and the future of African democracy. The whole continent is going down the pan. Either we take control, or write it off and let the Chinese have the whole thing.
08.08.08: unlucky for Beijing? China's farmers are starting to rebel.
Plenty of reasons for saying a win here may be no big deal. Gerard Baker on Iowa.
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Maths through the decades....
1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100 His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok. )
6. Teaching Math In 2008
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dine.
H/T Mark Scott
Wednesday, 2 January 2008
Weather Report....
Ice And Snow Threaten Road Chaos
I have included a photo of a Gritting Lorry because it is the only one you are likely to see!!
Canadian logic....
A company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of Canada.
In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would get the job.
The question was:
A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman's back. What is the man's name?
After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers.
The first, from Vancouver, says "My answer is, there is no answer."
The second, from Toronto, says "My answer is, that there is no way to determine the answer with the information we were given."
The third one, from Newfoundland, says "I'm not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to two names. It's either: Willie Turner or Willie Nailer."
The Newfoundlander got the job.
H/T 45 Govt
Obama strips down for final showdown in Iowa!!!
If only we could vote for the next US president. Simon Heffer on the runners and riders.
The Newsy Bit...
It's time for chief constable Richard Brunstrom to quit...and the victims of the drug he says is 'safe'. He is not of this world.
Five dead as 'orgy of violence' sweeps Britain in catalogue of New Year tragedies. It is hardly surprising when the Police are run by idiots like the one above. speeding is taken more seriously that carrying weapons. There again Brown needs the revenue from the speeding fines.
Fifty squaddies have tattoos bearing name of fellow soldier killed in Afghanistan. Truly a Band of Brothers.
Hillary Clinton reveals human side in Iowa plea. And that isn't going to work either.
NHS patients told to treat themselves. I shall be treating myself to a nice bottle of plonk and a few Marlboro's.
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A little Texas Humour.....
Bubba goes to the tent revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over.
Bubba gets in line.
When it's his turn the preacher says, "Bubba, what do you want me to pray about?"
Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."
So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays a while.
After a few minutes, he removes his hands and says, "Bubba, how's your hearing now?"
Bubba says, "I don't know preacher, it's not until next Wednesday in Dallas."
H/T Thomas Harris
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
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This is getting out of hand...
Kenyans burned to death in church. The US and UK need to step in fast to sort this out. The EU and UN will be useless as per usual. If we do not do something the Chinese will get in there. I wouldn't be surprised if they are not already stirring things up as they seem to have a rather nasty desire to spread their 'influence' throughout Africa. The Foreign Office will do nothing as they have some crass guilt complex over the Empire. If nothing is done expect one of Africa's better countries to go pear shaped.
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