Put away your arms, drama group is told. Pathetic! It is time that someone took a stand against these nannies.
Russia moves to control, Nigerian gas. Is there anyone we are not going to have to 'smack' in the next few years. We had better raise the defence budget to 100 Billion.
Hurt feelings, luvvie? Let's call it 400 grand! Littlejohn on lesbian's payday. Apparently being caught with your finger caught in the dyke pays better then being killed or maimed fighting for your country.
Return of the militants: Days lost to strikes have soared 20-fold in a year. Labour: 'Working for Britain'.
Failure to teach three Rs 'damaging economy'. No s**t!
Putin has nothing to gain from harassing Brits. Don't bet on it. He knows that we have a very weak and easliy scared government.
Commons Sketch: Miliband's Teddy Bear teeth. Silly little man.
Tony Blair 'cannot be president of EU'. Too bloody right.
Friday, 18 January 2008
News...
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
ESTATE PLANNING
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
H/T Nebraska Bob
Thursday, 17 January 2008
Gates update...
Westhawk has a good piece.
And The Elephant Bar discuss Barack Obama's religion
H/T Nebraska Bob
Dear Imadinnerjacket..you have a Jew on your doorstep and he's loaded for bear so bring it on!!
Capt. Herman "Herm" Shelanski is just waiting to kick your Islamonazi butt.
H/T Shelly
Chris Rock - How not to get your ass kicked by the police!
This is now true for all races...
H/T Mark Scott
News....
Get this evil off our streets. Hang the scum and their parents.
The Clintons try to take down Barack Obama. Someone had better stop them.
US defence chief sparks row after blasting British troops in Afghanistan for lack of 'experience'. The man is a fool. Admittedly some of our so called 'NATO Allies' are bloody pathetic but insulting the British Army is out of order and he should apologise.
He should watch this....
Lesbian soldier's sex harassment victory to cost MoD £400,000. Effing pathetic. The MOD is a joke.
Pupils at private school discover their teacher in 'shocking soft-porn' advert on YouTube And you can see it below....
Ministers ditch the phrase 'war on terror'. Maybe they would prefer the term Islamic War!!
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Electile Dysfunction:
"The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year."
And if you have an electile and actually like one of the candidates for longer than four hours, see a doctor.
H/T Shelly
It's your First Kiss and several questions might come to mind:
Is it the right time?
Is anyone watching?
Does your partner even want to?
Is your breath fresh?
AND,---Should you use some tongue?
Then you say . . .
'What the heck!' and Just Go for it!!! 
H/T Don Emslie
Oh how true....
H/Ts Thomas Harris and Shelly
One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for Bill Clinton who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to Bill and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
Bill calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 30 years."
H/T Nebraska Bob
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Bully-boy Putin up to his old tricks....
Russia warned over 'intimidation'. Mad Vlad is becoming a pain in the neck!!
Why women don't take men on holiday......
...to be fair my worst holidays have all involved girlfriends.
H/T Casasquirrels
BANNED FROM WALMART ...........
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to WalMart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men-- he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women-- she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and m ay be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House Wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House Wares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if t hey cou l d help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. December 6: In the auto depa rtment, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least .
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Regards,
Walmart
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
News.....
Nice puppies!!
Gordon Brown condemns 'incompetent' Hain as he begs watchdogs to spare Minister in donations row. He is therefore unfit to be a minister. Sack him immeadiately.
TV presenter awarded £2,000 compensation for arrest following 'one-legged, lesbian lorry driver' speech. Good sense at last.
A third jail for foreigners is planned as just 111 accept Government 'bribe' to go home. Shut the borders and start deporting. We are now full. And while we are at it we should deport some of the workshy slackers clogging up the benefits system.
Fee-paying schools must take poor pupils. Why? More socialist rubbish. Let's all be as thick as a liberal.
House prices drop 'at fastest rate in 15 years'. My heart bleeds.
US wants stronger terror checks on travellers from Europe. Don't blame them. Europe is heading towards calamity.
Outcry as Muslim Marks & Spencer worker refuses to sell book on Christianity, calling it unclean. Deportation for this one.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
This is for all you history buffs.
It was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo where 183 men waited to do battle. He then walked up to the observation post along the west wall of this fort. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out over the top of the wall. These three great men gazed at the horde of over 7000 Mexicans moving steadily toward them.
With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said, "Jim,are we having some landscaping done today?"
H/T Nebraska Bob
Tuesday, 15 January 2008
Quote of the day....
" I know that there are still Trotskyites out there because I travel with the media on the bus....!" John McCain
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world..' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
H/T Liz B
UNITED AIRLINES LOW APPROACH IN FRANKFURT
This was a retirement flight of the captain. It was filmed from the tower.
Nice fun for the captain, the passengers and the atc controller.
