H/T Shelly
Monday, 4 February 2008
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
We’re implementing this Answerphone message today
'GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO England
'Press '1' if you speak English.'
'Press ''2'' to disconnect until you can
Wouldn't it be amazing, if this caught on, all over the country...?
H/T AJD Shootist
CNN - Sharp as a button....
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.
She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion , she approached him for an interview.
‘Pardon me Sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN, What’s your name?
‘Maury Fishbein’ he replied.
‘Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?’
‘For about 60 years.’
‘60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?’
‘I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the Wars and hatred to stop, I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.’
‘How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?’
‘Like I’m talking to a f**kin’ wall.’
H/T Mark Scott
Jeremy Beadle Rip......met him once, was actually a nice bloke.
The funeral service for Jeremy Beadle has been arranged. Its a quiet family only service with a small finger buffet afterwards
Jeremy Beadles lawyer is having difficulty reading his will, apparantly it was written in short hand
How does the coroner know what time Jeremy Beadle passed away ? Cos the little hand was pointing to the big hand
After the autopsy when asked if jeremy beadle had a big manhood or not the coroner replied, "well on one hand he has but on the other hand he hasn't"
Apparently Jeremy Beadle requested to be recycled into compost on his garden. ITV sources say he could be back in early autumn with 'Watch Out, Beadles a Sprout'.
His local football team manager spoke to Jeremys manager and asked if they could have a minutes silance for him at the next match ,but his manager said Jeremy would have prefered it if they gave him a big hand.
H/T AJD Shootist
Sunday, 3 February 2008
The Ghost's of Presidents Past.....
Hillary Clinton has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House.
FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly!
The ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, ‘How can I best serve my country?’
Washington says, ‘Never tell a lie.’
‘Ouch!’ Says Hillary, ‘I don’t know about that.’
SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears…
Hillary says, ‘How can I best serve my country?’
Jefferson says, ‘Listen to the people.’
‘Ohhh! I really really don’t want to do that.’
THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears…
Hillary says, ‘How can I best serve my country?’
Lincoln says,
‘Go to the theater.’
H/T Mark Scott
Why men can't play football with women.....
Hard to concentrate isn't it!
H/T LG Toles
and apparently it is pronounced Okla....hooooo...ma
H/T Nebraska Bob
Great, Briton
“We shall abandon them in the mountains! We shall abandon them in the cities! We shall run like frightened children! Out of my way, I’m trying to surrender!”. Jules Crittenden quite rightly lets rip on Afghanistan and those who want to surrender!
However there is a solution......
We don't make them like this anymore........classics.
Posted with the kind permission of John Brooks who has some great pictures of the Goodwood Festival HERE
News.....
RAF forced to borrow planes. At last they get some decent kit. Pity the government won't buy them some of their own.
Asian PCs 'blocking crackdown on honour killings'. Then get rid of them.
In the morning, this headteacher was told his school was one of the best in England ... In the afternoon, he was told it would be closed. Only in Britain can crap like this happen.
It's a troubling thought, but was Tony Blair thinking of his bank balance when he backed Bush? Of course he was.
Our state collects more data than the Stasi ever did. We need to fight back. When a liberal rag like the Guardian starts to publish stuff like this you know things are bad. Freedom is our right, not a luxury bestowed upon us by a malevolent government.
Porter sacked by hospital after he asks for 'multi-faith' prayer room crucifix to be made visible. It is seriously time for the English to stop putting up with this crap. Revolution anyone?
Mr and Mrs Gorbals, king and queen of the Commons. Got their little socialist snouts well and truly in the trough......
Bishop of Rochester under police protection after receiving 'death threats' for saying Britain has no-go areas for non-Muslims. Anyone want to set a date as to when we are going to have to start 'clearing out' the Islamonazis.
Tories pledge lower tax and more police. We don't need more Police. We need the ones we have to start doing their bloody job and stop sitting aroud the staion playing with each other.
Multiple wives will mean multiple benefits. WTF......
Poland 'agrees' to US missile defence deal. Good. Poland is a good ally. Pity about the rest of the Eurowimps!!
Adolf Hitler's 'lost fleet' found in Black Sea. So that's where they got too.
Brian Ashton lost for words as England implode. I can think of several useless and c**nts being my favorite two. Possible the most pathetic display I have ever seen. I was as if the English team had bet on Wales to win.
Police bugged Muslim MP Sadiq Khan. Finally they do something useful.
SAS coup plotter Simon Mann faces show trial. Send in some of his 'old chums' to get him out. Overthrowing Nguema should also be on the to-do list. Maybe we could practise on him before we nail Mugabe.
US plan for Afghan troop surge. This is because some of our so called NATO allies are gutless and won't fight. There is no room in NATO for token members.
Why government busybodies should leave our land alone. Shoot them for trespassing!
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Saturday, 2 February 2008
| What military aircraft are you? EA-6B Prowler You are an EA-6B. You are sinister, preferring not to get into confrontations, but extract revenge through mind games and technological interference. You also love to make noise and couldn't care less about pollution.
|
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
H/T Mark Scott
News.....
Banking giant blocks 160,000 customers' credit cards in crackdown on out-of-control debts. That is one way to start a total panic!
Al Qaeda use two Down's syndrome women to blow up 73 people in Baghdad markets. They are becoming desperate. They are also losing in Iraq.
The flying hotel Thunderbird 2: The 700ft super-airship that will gently float you around the world
Shadow chancellor George Osborne opts for private school for his children. And? He obviously wants the best for his kids.
Two million people 'not entitled to sickness benefit', says top government advisor. Bunch of work shy tossers.
Australia sells stealth knowhow to Beijing. Oh bloody marvellous!!
Burglars - here's your get out of jail free card. So householders had better start shooting the bastards!
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers.
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
H/T Mark Scott
A Texan's opinion
T. B. Bechtel, a part-time City Councilman from Midland,TX, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.
'If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's balls to a car's battery cables will save one Texas GI's life, then I have just three things to say,
'Red is positive'
'Black is negative'
'Make sure his balls are wet.'
H/Ts to everyone who sent this.
Friday, 1 February 2008
Theo's blogs of the month....
Maggie's Farm a great place to be on a cold winters night.
Jules Crittenden. The Critter always has the latest gen on everything of interest.
Jawa. Because Jawa'nt to be there.
Iain Dale. Britain's most commercial blogger. He used to have a great header!!!!
Neptunus Lex. It's Zoomie time. A Naval Aviator with a great altitude.
Coyote. Howling from the rafters.
Argghhh. Rocking and rolling as only they can do.
Five Feet of Fury. Proving Canucks can blog.
Protein Wisdom. Because we all need 'protein'.
The Englishman. Another farming type who hates where England is going.
The Remittance Man. An expat Englishman with an obsession with high explosives and totty.
and where would be without the lovely Lady Jane.
P51 pron.....
...just remember that the 'Caddy' came from an RAF order and the engine was the brilliant Merlin.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
