H/T Mark Scott
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Worms...
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead ..
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation -
What can you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
That pretty much ended the service
H/T Peter Gunn
Monday, 24 March 2008
Time to stop mucking about...
Iran 'behind Green Zone attack'. We have until November to take down these two a**holes. God forbit a Democrat gets to the White house but if they do these two will run amock in the Middle East.
Censorship.....mustn't upset the Muslims!!
H/T Mark Scott
Internet site banned over 'anti-Islam film'. It seems that the Internet is starting to lose it's freedom. If we continue to allow the Islamonazis and their allies in the liberal establishment to browbeat us into surrender then that is what will happen. If you want your great-granddaughters to be burka-ed up to the eyeballs sit back and let it happen. If not then let's start taking these a**holes on. The Dutch are only reflecting what most Europeans already think, sadly the liberals are hell bent on destroying our religion, culture and civilisation. Until we take down the liberals we are never going to win this war! The Magna Carta, 1689 Bill of Rights and the US Constitution ( a mix of the best bits of the first two) gave us our rights. Let's not throw them away.
While we at at it. Reuters Promotes Anti-Israel Blog
H/T Liz B
What ever happened to Pin-ups....
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Oh yes this explains it!! PC brigade ban pin-ups on RAF jets - in case they offend women and Muslims Thanks to Gibby Haynes for reminding me.
We need to do this more....
..The Battle of Britain Historic Flight is amazing but we rarely see different generations flying together. this could have something to do with our failure to preserve flying versions of many of our great aircraft. Most seem to end up in private hands (where costs prevent much flying) or as static museum pieces.
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News....
Let everyone share in our finest hours. A sad summary of modern Britain. We need to sort this and fast not that Labour and the NUT will ket us.
Pilot's gun discharges on US Airways flight. Bet that livened things up a bit.
Gipsy hell for minister Tessa. Call in an airstrike. Dids have no rights.
12 ministers set to resign over Embryo Bill. Yeah right. They are really going to give up the government gravy train.
Tories attack 'inflation con as cost of living rises dramatically' while Government says it is only up by 2 per cent. I reckon it is close to 10%.
Just 7,500 votes NATIONWIDE could cost Labour power, says former Home Secretary Charles Clarke. So could some well placed artillery!!
Royal Marine who lost arm and both legs in Taliban blast is refused full compensation payout by MoD. Scrap the MOD, they are a total waste of effing space.
Younger leadership for Taliban in Afghanistan. Until we start hitting them in Pakistan we are not going to make major progress.
'One in three RAF Nimrod planes fit for use'. We need replacements now. Pity the Government have blown all the spare cash. If the military want more cash I suggest parking a couple of Challengers on the Treasury's front lawn and lobbing shells in their general direction until someone gets their chequebook out.
Robert Mugabe 'printing fake ballots to rig poll'. Of course he is, and no-one is going to stop him because the Foreign Office and State Dept don't give a s**t.
Funeral costs rise as Zimbabwe elections loom for Robert Mugabe. There are going to be a lot of funerals which ever way the election goes.
Tanzanian troops from the African Union train to tackle rebels on Anjouan. This should be fun. Please somebody send a news crew to video this.
Iraq's new army and Britain's soldiers. a good summary of our status in southern Iraq
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Find Out Who Your Friends Are!
This is for all the soldiers who stick up for each other and stand beside their brothers!!
H/T Peter Gunn
Introducing: The Patriot Micro Chip
To be implanted in Communist/Jihadist/Islamofascists foreheads by God fearing, hard working, freedom lovers.
When properly done, will allow the implantee to speak to God instantly.
Comes in various sizes:
Implantee may or may not get to choose size.
May contain some information or precious metals:
May or may not be painless. Some bleeding and or swelling may occur at injection site.
Free delivery courtesy of the US and UK Military.
H/T Nebraska Bob
Sunday, 23 March 2008
Hilarious Attempt to Capture Illegal Aliens fleeing a van.
Just how many people can you get in a minivan? And I thought the UK had problems.
Daily Humour
At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said:
"I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle
drippings?"
"Good question", noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh", replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question
had a practical answer. But on he went in his obnoxious way:
"What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"
"Ah, yes", replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits."
"I see!" replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the
know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi", he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste", answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the IRS, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."
H/T Thomas Harris
The Sunday Best....
Drilling for oil to start in Falkland Islands. We are going to need a much bigger navy.
Dutch fear attacks over Islam film. We are at war with Islam and have been for centuries, so can we have a little more action and a little less hysteria!!
KGB plot fears as London oligarch vanishes and traces of blood are found in his mansion. Putin and his cronies need putting back in their place.
Labour MP brands Geoff Hoon 'stupid' over embryo vote. Stupid assumes that the Hoonatic has a brain. He doesn't. One of Labour's most worthless MPs.
'Bring private schools under state control', says Britain's biggest teacher's union. I have a better idea, ban the NUT and it's members from teaching. Ther bullshit socialist policies have destroyed the British education system. They are at best trotskiite scum.
Princes to raise party millions to help soldiers wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan. Well done boys. The Government should be ashamed at the way they treat our forces.
After trying to gag coronor Des Browne bids to silence MoD whistleblower. Browne is pathetic. He has no place in British politics.
General David Petraeus stays focused in Iraq. The surge works and everybody loves the guy. If the media hadn't spent the first 4 years of the war supporting the enemy and undermining the whole campaign things may have improved a lot sooner.
Secret council tax database penalises homes with a view. Methinks it is time that the English rise up and reclaim their country for the corrupt and incompetant political classes.
Dementia timebomb 'will hit 1.2m'. That's not including the liberals who are all effing demented.
'80 Taliban had surrounded me, I had to keep on firing'. Good lad.
Barack Obama: toxic mentors start to corrode pristine campaign. Has there ever been a 'clean' Democrat?
Meet the families where no one's worked for THREE generations - and they don't care. Effing scroungers. Stop all their benefits and take away the house. Let them live in the gutter where they belong.
Ruck off, you nancy Aussies. Clarkypoos on the Aussies attempts to change the rules of Rugby so they can win a game!! and the Porsche Cayenne GTS
Spotlight on Zimbabwe...
Mugabe opponent warns ahead of election. Doh! Mugabe has rigged every ballot in Zimbabwe's history. If you want him out, shoot him.
Robert Mugabe ‘cannot win election – but he can still steal it'. If he 'wins' we have to go in and chuck him out. Half a dozen paras and the MOD tealady should be able to do it.
Zimbabwe: white farmer Mike Campbell mounts last stand over land grab. A brave man who needs support from us all. Dubya needs to get involved over Zimbabwe before it is too late. The Chinese are already all over the country.
Click to see Mugabe's little secrets!!
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Life's Rules....part 2
13. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
15. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
16. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
17. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have Schiffer Brains.
18. No one ever says, "It's only a game when his team is winning."
19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
20. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
21. Marriage changes passion ---suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
22. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
23. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
24. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
H/T Ted Foster
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