Wednesday, 2 April 2008
Cannonical Murphy's Laws of Combat....part 3
61. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
62. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
63. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
64. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
65. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
66. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
67. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
68. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
69. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
70. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
71. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
72. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
73. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
74. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
75. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
76. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
77. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
78. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
79. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
80. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
H/T J M Heinrichs
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
My kind of sunset.....
..We could do with a Squadron of these. Give them to 617 Squadron. They did a lot more than bust a couple of dams.
Zim update....
Deal 'close' for Mugabe to leave. Leave my ass! He must be made to pay for his crimes. Seize his foreign bank accounts for a start!
I sooooooo want to try this....
Members of U.S. Army Special Forces soar out the back of a C-17 Globemaster III at an altitude of 6,000 feet during a high altitude, low opening training exercise, Feb. 22 during Balikatan 08 in the Philippines. Photo by Lance Cpl. Ronald W. Stauffer
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Flying Penguins on BBC Documentary ............what's the date again.
This was actually posted on You Tube yesterday.
Happy Birthday to the Royal Air Force.....90 today.
We took to the air with a rifle and two pigeons. Henry Allingham, who at 111 years old is the only surviving founding member of the RAF. (H/T Liz B)
Light News....
India's 'curry bomb' against terror. You may want to check the date!!!
Lords report exposes Labour's lies on mass immigration. Good Old Lords this is why we need them. Just kick out all of Tonies Cronies and bring back the Hereditaries.
London 2008 and Harriet Harman wears a stab-proof vest ... to tour her own constituency! Stab-proof will not stop a bullet!!
Gurkha with a sick wife faces deportation AND a crippling NHS bill. An effing disgrace. The Home Office are the scum of the earth and must be got rid of.
Morgan Tsvangirai projected to win in Zimbabwe election. Expect Mugabe to have him arrested for 'ballot rigging'!!! Mugabe has a big house, 'we' have MOAB so let's see if the bloody thing works!!
Labour donor Lord Sainsbury avoids £27m capital gains tax. Labour are a bunch of crooks.
Pressure grows on Max Mosley to stand down. Boot the asshole out.
A Classic.....
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently at the U.N. and made the world community smile.
A representative from Israel began-'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!' He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them.'
The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there back then.'
The Israeli representative smiled and said 'And now that I have made that clear, I will begin my speech.'
H/T 45 Govt
BREVITY IS THE SOUL OF WIT....
Judge to prostitute, 'So when did you realize you were raped?'
Prostitute, wiping away tears: 'When the check bounced.'
H/T 45 Govt
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Cannonical Murphy's Laws of Combat....part 3
41. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
42. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
44. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
45. Weather ain't neutral.
46. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.
48. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go'.
49. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
50. Napalm is an area support weapon.
51. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
52. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
53. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
54. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
55. The one item you need is always in short supply.
56. Interchangeable parts aren't.
57. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
58. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
59. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
60. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
H/T J M Heinrichs
Monday, 31 March 2008
Nebraska Bob's late round-up.....
And Now for the British Surge. Sadly we do not have the troops to do it.
Rhodes to Ruin. We have to go in and sort it out. Can we borrow the 101st?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Walter and his wife Ann, listened to the instructor declare.
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other?" He addressed the men.
"Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?"
Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered, "Tesco's Self Raising isn't it?"
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.
H/T Judy S
Things could get sticky...or not so!!
F-22 Raptor Airframes Falling Apart Due to Bad Glue
There is some better news...
First Military Pilot Review of the F-35 Strike Fighter (Verdict: Kicks Ass)
H/T Nebraska Bob
Gates vs. GM
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
H/T Casasquirrels
Daily Chassis.....
....contributions wanted for this feature as I am having probs finding suitable material.
JDAM 500 LBS Bomb Dropped On Almahdy Army Sniper ....
No wonder Al-Sadr has gone back under his rock.
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Liberal Guy.
