Sunday, 6 April 2008
Cannonical Murphy's Laws of Combat....part 6
121. Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together.
122. If you need an officer in a hurry take a nap.
123. The effective killing radius is greater than the average soldier can throw it.
124. Professionals are predictable, its the amateurs that are dangerous.
125. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
126. No matter which way you have to march, it’s always uphill.
127. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
128. When you have sufficient ammo the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on ammo the enemy attacks that night.
129. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
130. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
131. When a front line soldier overhears two General Staff officers conferring, he has fallen back too far.
132. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
133. If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you.
134. Any ship can be a minesweeper . . .. once.
135. Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.
136. If you find yourself in front of your platoon they know something you don't.
137. The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
138. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
139. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.
140. All or any of the above combined.
H/T J M Heinrichs
Saturday, 5 April 2008
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News...
Family life is in 'meltdown': Judge launches devastating attack on our fractured society. Bit bloody late! The Judiciary's failure to give criminals proper sentences hasn't helped.
Ban on cheap booze: Ministers are ready to impose minimum prices on stores to battle binge culture. Just raise the drinking age to 21 and enforce the bloody thing.
Mugabe sends out heavy mob to intimidate voters as party announces runoff election. Send in the Airborne before the bloodshed starts. Mugabe's War Veterans aren't. They are just young thugs most of who weren't born in 1980.
Muslim is spared a speeding ban so he can drive between his two wives. One law for them another for the rest of us!
Legal firm bans fishnet stockings because they distract male colleagues. That is one way to lose all your clients!
Why political correctness has denied wartime bomber crews the honour they deserve. An effing disgrace. What do you expect from the gutless scum running Britain. A spot carpet bombing would improve Basra no end.
James May: On the road. Highway 1 in a Hyundai!!
Police fear Olympic torch protests after China shootings in Tibet. Time to Boycott the Olympics and the companies sponsoring them. All except the Beach Volleyball!!
Bill and Hillary Clinton bounce back from White House debts with £55m income. From who and for what?
U.S. Army Spc. Rebecca Buck, a medic from Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 1st Battalion, 14th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, provides perimeter security outside an Iraqi police station in the Tarmiya Province of Iraq, March 30, 2008. (U.S. Air Force photo by Tech. Sgt. William Greer)
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Genealogy........
A little girl asked her father, "How did the human race appear?"
The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was
all mankind made."
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.
The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human
race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her father and said, "Dad, how is it possible
that you told me the human race was created by God, and Mama said they
developed from monkeys?"
The father answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my
side of the family and your Mama told you about hers."
H/T Ted Foster
Friday, 4 April 2008
Bubba allegedly died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer.The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said,
'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over but Cooter said, 'Nope!, ain't Bubba.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Gomer in, to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said,
'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'Nope, it ain't Bubba.'
The mortician then asked, 'How can you tell?'
Gomer said, 'Well, Bubba had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup', said Gomer , 'we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, 'There's Bubba with them two assholes.'
H/T 45 Govt
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
'What are you doing?' She asked.
'Hunting Flies' He responded.
'Oh. Killing any?' She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?'
He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.'
H/T Ted Foster
Blog of the Day.....
Neptunus Lex is the place to go for all things aviation. He has a great pic of what happens to F 18s when you let Naval Aviators near the paint store!
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Just how far will Hillary go?
Martin Luther King anniversary stokes black fears of Barack Obama assassination. I wouldn't put anything past the Clintons!!
News...
Brown plays dirty at political football. When The Mirror starts kicking Brown you know he is finished.
House prices 'will crash soon': Bank chiefs warn YOUR home is overvalued by 30 per cent. And who owns the big estate agents who pushed up house prices? Oh yes. The Banks.
British Muslims 'planned to kill thousands by bringing down SEVEN transatlantic airliners in one go with liquid bombs'. Hang the scum! and deport their families.
Ken Livingstone owns up to having five children by three mothers. He thinks it will get him votes!!
The 20 simple words Brits are unable to spell because we are all text mad. Am I the only person who doesn't text?
Dozen pupils aged 9 and 10 arrested over plot to kidnap and kill teacher because she told them off. WTF!!! Time to get some serious discipline back into schools.
BT admits it used new software to spy on hundreds of unwitting internet customers. Tut tut. Why doesn't this surprise me!
Posturing over Afghanistan puts Nato at risk. Time to replace NATO with an organisation whose members all turn up when needed. Sod the Germans and French.
British summer 2008 to be warmer and wetter. That's why snow is forecast for this week-end!!
Zimbabwe: the backlash begins as paramilitaries launch raids. And we will do nothing as usual! Diplomacy will not work, Force will.
Martin Johnson ready to take charge of England. About bloody time too.
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Cannonical Murphy's Laws of Combat....part 5
101. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
102. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
103. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
104. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
105. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
106. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
107. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
108. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
109. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do
110. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
111. Walking point = sniper bait.
112. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
113. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
114. Radios function perfectly until you need fire support.
115. What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank.
116. If orders can be misunderstood they will be.
117. Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.
118. Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target. That round will be a dud.
119. Mine fields are not neutral.
120. The weight of your equipment is proportional to the time you have been carrying it.
H/T J M Heinrichs
Thursday, 3 April 2008
Marxist Monkey wants a war...
Beginning Of 'Crackdown' In Zimbabwe. Wanted 1 lynch mob. Mugabe must be killed. This corrupt murderous bastard must be taken down as must his cronies. Time for the US and UK to send in the Airborne.
Here's another view of la Dyke Hillary's "mis-speaking."
From the Sunday 'papers
Speaking to the Sunday Telegraph's Peaches Coren, Senator Mrs Clinton said that events in the life of a busy First Couple, like herself and her husband, Mr Bill Ah-Feel-Your-Tits Clinton, often got a bit hectic.
It had been reported, for instance, that Mr Bill, while Governor of Arkansas, had used the State Troopers as his own, personal brothel keepers; had conducted affairs throughout their marriage, notably with a Miss Jennifer Flowers and a Ms Lewinsky, a woman young enough to be Mr Bill's and Mrs Hillary's daughter, although nowhere near as toothily unprepossessing and disagreeable.
I would just like to set the record straight, Senator Clinton confided to Ms Coren, about my husband's rumoured infidelities over these past forty years. It's all a crock, as we pretend New Yorkers say, got up by the right-wing press, and the left-wing press, they did it, too. All a massive conspiracy.
It's not that my husband was actually banging all these broads all these years, abusing his position, humiliating me and driving me to the dusty comforts of crooked property speculation, carpet-munching and political campaigning. No, he wasn't perpetually unfaithful, abusive, exploitative, deceitful, predatory, hypocritical, and an all-round worthless piece of draft-dodging, coke-snorting, Deep South hogshit who would fuck anything still fucking warm; he simply, constantly and ubiquitously, mis-spunked.
( Mah Fellow Americans. Ah did not have sexual relations with that woman. Ah simply mis-spunked. Mah ejaculate was meant to splash on the manly countenance of the First Lady, Wossername ? But we were in the White House library and Ah was showing Ms Lewinsky how one of Fidel's best hand-rolled could negotiate her East River and, Lord have mercy, Ah just happened to mis-spunk it all over that young woman's dress. 'sall it was, a gen-yew-ine mis spunkin'. Now, you tell me any good ole boy hasn't mis-spunked once in a while - mebbe over his babysitter, or his niece, or his Arkansas Golden Retriever - and Ah'll show y'all a Godamned, pussy-whipped, lying, faggot, communist, pinko sonofabitch. An just remember, folks, vote for the sourpuss, grungy blonde dyke an' y'all get me, too. First Gennulman. God bless America. )
Senator Mrs Clinton believes that her self-effacing honesty in these personal areas of lying, stealing, cheating and industrial scale whoring will lead her to the White House; that somehow, in the way of these things, she, too, will be mis-elected. Horrible fucking bastard.
H/T Stanislav via
Lady Jane
