H/T Gary P
Monday, 28 April 2008
Light news....
Labour MPs warn embattled Brown to stay off local election campaign trail. It would be better if he left the country never to return.
Teenage Iraqi girl who fell in love with BRITISH soldier in Basra is murdered by her own father in honour killing. Welcome to Islam!
Robert Mugabe's men kill five-year-old boy. Many more will die before Mugabe goes.
World food crisis turns rice into gold. My local shop has it on offer this week.
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Sunday, 27 April 2008
The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.
Mike Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the area , stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Ford every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, 'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
'Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?'
Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Fuck the Vicar'
H/T Pete Hurrell
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Blog of the Day..
Andrew Ian Dodge is always a good read and up to date with the latest goings on
His band 'Growing Old Disgracefully' also have a great CD out.
Click the pic to listen to some of their tracks and you can even buy the CD if you like.
The Sunday Best.......
How the era of cheap food has gone and why we face a hungry future. Another blogger writing for the MSM.
Compensation boost for severely injured troops. About bloody time too. And the MOD should stop paying silly sums to those civil servants who get wankers wrist!!
Zimbabwe election recount confirms Robert Mugabe lost parliament vote. He still has the Army, Security Forces and the Chinese. He isn't finished yet.
Burma junta's new threats over constitution. Another bunch of thugs being protected by China. With the Olympics coming this is the one chance we have to put pressure on the Chinese. When the Olympics are over there will be no stopping them.
Britons kidnapped in Iraq are ‘held by Iran’. I think it is safe to say that they were kidnapped by Iran in the first place.
Kim Jong-il builds ‘Thunderbirds’ runway for war in North Korea. He must have read Dale Brown's 'Fatal Terrain'.
Hillary Clinton risks rift in Democrats by ‘cheating’ black voters. A Clinton cheat.....never!!!!
Arms ship exposes Robert Mugabe’s link to Chinese firm. There aren't many dictators around who are not linked to the Chinese.
Babies seized by Robert Mugabe's forces as Zimbabwe hounds voters. Will someone kindly kill Mugabe.
US warns Iran of retaliation over Iraq action. Iran will ignore everything except actual force.
Sadr Stooge accuses U.S. forces of using prohibited weapons in Sadr City attacks. 'They don't like it up em'.
and the Clarkypoos section.......
Potato heads are talking rot on food.
I’d rather hire a dog than a prostitute.
Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution
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A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
'What was that for?' he asked.
'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.
'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,' he explained.
'Oh honey, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation.'
Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, 'What the hell was that for?'
She replied....... 'Your horse called.'
H/T Mark Scott
Saturday, 26 April 2008
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! 'Help me dear,' she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. 'I'm dying over here and you're putting?'
'Don't worry dear', says the husband calmly, 'they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you'.
'Well how long will it take for him to get here', she asks feebly?
'No time at all', says her husband. 'Everybody's already agreed to let him play through'.
H/T Ted Foster
Geek School is in session.....
Dr. Mercury's Computer Corner: Lesson 3 - System Backup. These are very handy lessons.
News....
Dimbleby accused of Question Time bullying and bias against Boris. He has been biased for a long while.
Now prison offices say call girls are smuggled in and they admit some jails have 'no go areas'. Lock the prisoners up 24 hours a day and only give them bread and water.
Three bitten by rabid dog. Well if you will get too close to Cherie!
Real reason Syrian base was wiped off the map. Great strike.
Zimbabwe forces arrest hundreds in MDC raids. And so it continues.
'Vulgar' cheerleaders face ban in India. They are more than welcome over here.
James May: Small is beautiful.
Terror suspect who won court battle is named as a ‘top al-Qaeda agent’. Stop messing about and shoot the bastard.
UN move on Robert Mugabe as police raid MDC. And a fat lot of good it will do.
Luck of the Irish saved Afghan patrol. A good result.
Spain's military banned from websites showing models or giving sports results. The spanish have a military!!!!
Do not fight Iraqi forces, Hojetoleslam Moqtada al-Sadr tells followers. That won't save his ass.
Rory-friendly guide to invisible Cabinet. Clarkypoos on the cabinet. V funny.
Ignore the end of the world. Clarkypoos on the climate.
Beckham jersey leads to legal threats... between kids? A clip round the ear should solve this.
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Friday, 25 April 2008
Dear anonymous...
..you have a habit of leaving insulting comments while I am asleep which I have deleted. If you want a debate I will give you one but only when you have the balls to get an identity. This blog is a team venture and we will be happy to 'debate' with you but only if you have a name. As for the rest of the anonymouses your comments and input are welcome.
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