46. Thousands of Vietnam Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded.
47. In helicopters, there is no such thing as "a good vibration."
48. Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas. Any combination of these can be deadly.
49. NOMEX is NOT fire proof.
50. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the Rules.
51. Living and dying can both hurt a lot.
52. The pilot who made up this list left off number 52. Let's hope it was not an important part of his pre-flight check.
53. While a Super Bomb could be considered one of the four essential building blocks of life, powdered eggs cannot.
54. C-4 can make a dull day fun.
55. Cocoa Powder is neither.
56. There is no such thing as a fair fight, only ones where you win or lose.
57. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. If you lose you don't care.
58. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem.
59. If you have extra, share it quickly.
60. Always make sure someone has a P-38.
61. A sucking chest wound may be God's way of telling you it's time to go home.
62. Prayer may not help . . but it can't hurt.
63. Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac, even if this is technically a form of flying.
64. If everyone does not come home, none of the rest of us can ever fully come home.
65. Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR.
66. A grunt is the true reason for the existence of the helicopter. Every helicopter flown in Vietnam had one real purpose: To help the grunt. It is unfortunate that many helicopters never had the opportunity to fulfill their one true mission in life simply because someone forgot this fact.
Courtesy of the USMC. Who discovered these lessons the hard way.
H/T Shelly.
Thursday, 22 May 2008
Helicopter pilot lessons...part 4
Helicopter pilot lessons...part 3
31. It is always a bad thing to run out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas all at the same time.
32. Nothing is as useless as altitude above you and runway behind you.
33. While the rest of the crew may be in the same predicament, it's almost always the pilot's job to arrive at the crash site first.
34. When you shoot your weapon, clean it the first chance you get.
35. Loud sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided attention.
36. Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations, which, in turn is better than cold C-rations, which is better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have the little pieces of fish in them.
37. WHAT is often more important than WHY.
38. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
39. Girlfriends are fair game. Wives are not.
40. Everybody's a hero on the ground in the officers club and after the fourth drink.
42. A free-fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
43. The farther you fly into the mountains (or over water), the louder the strange engine noises become.
44. Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is a whole lot better.
45. The only medal you really want to be awarded is the Longevity Medal.
H/T Shelly
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
Happy Hour.....
In from the Cold has a fun contest for naming the USAF's new tanker.
H/T Nebraska Bob
Armed Forces Day on Fort Lewis Washington....
....the old and the new.
Pictures from Geobent who has more.
A Story of our Times.....
A young man named Gordon bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. When the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news.the donkey is on my truck, but he's dead." Gordon replied, "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer said, "I can't do that. I went and spent it already." Gordon said, "OK then, just unload the donkey anyway".
The farmer asked, "What are you g'ner do with 'im?" Gordon said, "I'm going to raffle him off." To which the farmer exclaimed, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" But Gordon, with a big smile on his face, said "Yes I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody that he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Gordon and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" Gordon said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two pounds apiece and made a profit of £698.00." Totally amazed, the farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"
And Gordon replied, "The only man who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner, when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his £2 back plus £200 extra, which is double the going value of a donkey, so he thought I was a really great guy."
Gordon grew up and eventually became the Prime Minister of Britain, and no matter how many times he lied or how much money he stole from British voters, as long as he gave some of them back some of the stolen money, enough of them were fooled and thought he was a great and honest man!!
There's a moral here somewhere, I just can't think of it..
H/T AJD Shootist
Blog of the Day....
From the Halls to the Shores. Go visit because he has one of the best vids for ages.
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News...
Warnings of new fuel protests as motorists struggle with fastest rise in diesel prices for a decade. This should be interesting as Brown cannot afford to cut the fuel duty.
1million more Britons in just three years as immigration fuels biggest population boom for a century. Haul up the drawbridge. We are full.
Muslim man threatens to sue driving school for sending transsexual instructor to teach his wife. He let's his wife drive!!!!
Beijing Olympics nuclear 'dirty bomb' fears. As well as every other major event in the future. We are at war and losing is not an option.
Iran sets off nuclear race in the Middle East. Arabs with nukes, this could get interesting. With any luck they will wipe each other out.
Farmers must go green or lose EU handouts. Farmers are green and always have been. The EU and Defrs know f**k all about farming. Incidentally both oil and coal are technically biofuels 'cos they originate from organic matter.
Teenage killers attacked woman and threw her in river to drown. Hang them.
Senator Edward Kennedy diagnosed as malignant. Oh dear!!!!
Abuse of uniformed troops to become a crime. Just let the troops 'defend themselves'!!!
Report: U.S. Will Attack Iran. There is not a lot of choice in the matter. Iran have been wanting a war since 79.
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Things to ponder...
1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives !!!
H/T Jackie Gedling....
Marine Helicopter pilot lessons...part 2
16. If everything is as clear as a bell, and everything is going exactly as planned, you're about to be surprised.
17. The B.S.R. (Bang, Stare, Read) Theory states that the louder the sudden bang in the helicopter, the quicker your eyes will be drawn to the gauges.
18. The longer you stare at the gauges, the less time it takes them to move from green to red.
19. The sole purpose of our helicopters is to support our grunts. Anyone who forgets that has forgotten the mission.
20. No matter what you do, the bullet with your name on it will get you. So too can the ones addressed "To Whom It May Concern".
21. Gravity may not be fair, but it is the law.
22. If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.
23. If you are wearing body armor, the incoming will probably miss that part.
24. It hurts less to die with a uniform on than to die in a hospital bed.
25. Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
26. If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
27. Eat when you can. Sleep when you can. Visit the head when you can. The next opportunity may not come around for a long time, if ever.
28. Combat pay is a flawed concept.
29. Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative.
30. Air superiority is NOT a luxury.
H/T Shelly
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Breaking News:
CNN reports that gas stations will start showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else get screwed at the same time you do!!
H/T Ted Foster
A Government Job Interview.....
A guy goes to the Civil Service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, 'Have you been in the service?'
'Yes,' he says. 'I was in the armed forces for three years.'
The interviewer says, 'That will give you extra points toward employment' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?'
The guy says, 'Yes, 100%. A mortar round exploded near me and blew my t*sticles off.'
The interviewer tells the guy, 'OK, I can hire you right now The hours are from 8:00 a.m. till 5:00 p.m.. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 a.m.'
The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 a.m.?'
'This is a government job', the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'
H/T Ted Foster
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Light news...
German army officers allow top Taliban commander to escape ... because they are not allowed to use lethal force. Then why are they there?
Two million Britons emigrate in 10 years. Can you blame them!
US elections: Barack Obama warns Republicans to leave Michelle alone. Or he will do what? The Dems are the party who fight dirty and they don't like it when they get some back.
US Marine cheats death in Afghanistan: Photos. That's a tad close.
Al-Qa'eda training children as suicide bombers. We are fighting animals.
Lady Godivas ride naked through London. Damn missed it!!
‘Big Brother’ database for phones and e-mails. Do we have any freedoms left in this country?
Iraq could have largest oil reserves in the world. That should piss off the Saudis!! They have been ripping off the west for too long.
Abkhazia: the frozen conflict that is thawing rapidly. Putin wants the USSR back. Someone had better be prepared to stop him.
Taliban 'losing momentum'. It is hard to get momentum when people keep dropping bombs on you. Sadly many are to loony to ever give up.
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Marine Helicopter pilot lessons Part 1 ......and the 3000th post this year.
1. Once you are in the fight, it is way too late to wonder if it was a good idea.
2. There is no such thing as a "fun" hot LZ.
3. It is a fact that helicopter tail rotors are instinctively drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. While it may be possible toward off this natural event some of the time, it cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented. It's just what they do.
4. NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition than the other guy.
5. The engine RPM, and the rotor RPM, must BOTH be kept in the GREEN.
Failure to heed this commandment can affect the morale of the crew.
6. There are only two kinds of helicopter pilots: those that have crashed,
and those who are going to.
7. Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover you.
8. Letters from home are not always great.
9. The madness of war can extract a heavy toll. Please have exact change.
10. Always remember that helicopters are different from airplanes. Helicopters are thousands of pounds of parts all flying in lose formation often in opposition to each other, and unlike airplanes, they fly by beating the air into submission.
11. Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.
12. The terms "Protective Armor" and "Helicopter" are mutually exclusive terms.
13. The further away you are from your friends, the less likely it is that they can help you when you really need them the most.
14. Being good and lucky is not enough, there is always payback.
15. "Chicken Plates" are not something you order in a restaurant.
H/T Shelly
Monday, 19 May 2008
Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman....
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
# 3. A gun doesn't ask , 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'
# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....
# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
