Friday, 23 May 2008
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Introducing Obambi.....
...from an original idea by Shelly. These are not the best photoshops that I have done. If anyone knows a really good cartoonist that can make the Obambi Adventures into a regular feature let me know.
Obambi visits the Big apple...
Obambi visits the White House...
News.....
Tories win Crewe by a landslide leaving Brown in desperate fight for survival. Bury the Bastard.
Yes, this is a REAL crisis, admits minister as latest oil price surge piles £700 onto the average family's fuel bill. Things are going to crash big time.
England will need TWO new London-sized cities to cope with new immigrants by 2056. Not if we stop letting them in. Just how hard is it to secure an island?
Nuclear submarine in £5m crash - because trainees were plotting course on tracing paper. Ooops!
Ja, Minister! Government blows £120million on new computer system which spouts German. Another Government IT system that doesn't work. They should not be allowed modern technology, it only confuses them.
Zimbabwe: Back Robert Mugabe or face war, army tells white farmers. Time to introduce them to the British Army!
Israeli fighter jets confront Tony Blair's plane. Should have shot the f**ker down.
Afghan cricketers set hearts on beating world. There is hope for Afghanistan yet. Cricket is a very civilised game.
'Recent convert to Islam' is arrested after bomb explosion in restaurant. 'Convert' him to a corpse.
Voters just don't trust Hillary. Wait 'til they 'meet' Obama.
10,000 Iraqi troops bring calm to Sadr City. What for? Tea and biscuits or to kick Sadr's Ass.
Protecting polar bears gets in way of drilling for oil, says governor. Expect an eco-loony hissy fit for this.
220 000 condoms off to Myanmar. The UN operating at it's usual 'high standards'.
If We Could Talk to the Animals. Little Annie Coulter on heads in the sand.
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Helicopter pilot lessons
46. Thousands of Vietnam Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded.
47. In helicopters, there is no such thing as "a good vibration."
48. Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas. Any combination of these can be deadly.
49. NOMEX is NOT fire proof.
50. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the Rules.
51. Living and dying can both hurt a lot.
52. The pilot who made up this list left off number 52. Let's hope it was not an important part of his pre-flight check.
53. While a Super Bomb could be considered one of the four essential building blocks of life, powdered eggs cannot.
54. C-4 can make a dull day fun.
55. Cocoa Powder is neither.
56. There is no such thing as a fair fight, only ones where you win or lose.
57. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. If you lose you don't care.
58. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem.
59. If you have extra, share it quickly.
60. Always make sure someone has a P-38.
61. A sucking chest wound may be God's way of telling you it's time to go home.
62. Prayer may not help . . but it can't hurt.
63. Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac, even if this is technically a form of flying.
64. If everyone does not come home, none of the rest of us can ever fully come home.
65. Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR.
66. A grunt is the true reason for the existence of the helicopter. Every helicopter flown in Vietnam had one real purpose: To help the grunt. It is unfortunate that many helicopters never had the opportunity to fulfill their one true mission in life simply because someone forgot this fact.
Courtesy of the USMC who learned the lessons the hard way.
H/T Shelly
Thursday, 22 May 2008
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Why do men die first?
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is
favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet . .. its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favour. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ...you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers .. you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache .. you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.
Why do men die first ?
Because they want to.
H/T Shelly
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Light news.....
Taxpayers fork £250,000 to send 50 ministers and officials to watch the Beijing Olympics. Make the bastards watch it on the telly like everyone else.
Barack Obama juggernaut 'will crush John McCain'. Don't bet on it. Although the Telegraph already seems to be supporting Obama.
Hizbollah's Lebanon veto power boosts Iran's Middle East influence. Oh well, things like this will happen while we all sit back and ignore Iran.
Price of petrol to stay high for 8 years. Better start reducing the taxes on it then.
Gordon Brown’s call for ban on cluster bombs puts pressure on MoD. Gutless prick! Brown has done more to destroy our Armed Forces than all our enemies put together.
Hillary Clinton hopes for an act of God. I don't think he is going to help.
Cuppa ends 2-year round world voyage for solo sailor Adrian Flanagan. The Royal Navy still have kettles!!
America's "problems" are just gripes. A good piece over at Maggie's Farm.
Barack Gaffes. Michelle Malkin on Obama.
Cool.....
A US Cobra helicopter fires during a joint exercise at a military base in Lopburi province, Thailand.
H/T Chris Smith
Hee hee.....
Once upon a time in China, lived two Chinamen.
One named "I Cum" and one named "No Cum".
"No Cum" marry pretty Chinese girl named "No Cum Tu".
For very obvious reason "No Cum" and "No Cum Tu" not have any children.
One day, "No Cum" went out of town on business and "I Cum" came over and
spent the night with "No Cum Tu".
That night "I Cum" came and "No Cum Tu" came too.
This make both very happy.
About 7 or 8 months later, "No Cum" see he about to become father but he not
know how come, so when baby come, he named it, "How Cum U Cum".
Of course, "I Cum" and "No Cum Tu" know "How Cum U Cum" came but to this day
"No Cum" not know how come "How Cum U Cum" came!
H/T Jackie Gedling
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