H/T Peter Gunn
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.
'It's a period,' he replied.
'I can see that,' said the teacher, 'but what is so exciting about a period?'
'Darned if I know,' he said, 'but this morning my sister was missing one, my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Air Force.'
H/T Nebraska Bob
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News....
Hats banned from Yorkshire pubs over CCTV fears. Silly season is officially open.
Summer of discontent: Strikers threaten mountains of rubbish and chaos at airports. Here we go again. Labour are finished and the Unions know it.
Record cost of feeding your family - bread, cheese and eggs have never been so expensive. Grow your own is making a comeback and not before time.
Property market slumps by 40% in a year while fall in house prices in London is fastest in UK. Is there any good finantial news?
British 9/11 fears over private planes, Government terror adviser warns. Stating the bloody obvious.
Farmer's wife dies in diesel raid. This is going to become commonplace in the countryside especially as the Plod are non-existent.
Israel 'will attack Iran' before new US president sworn in, John Bolton predicts. Why wait?
Blackbirds dive-bombing Chicago residents. Bored pilots!!!
Nelson Mandela arrives in Britain for 90th birthday celebrations. Why? What's wrong with having a concert in South Africa?.
Network Rail forecasts overcrowded trains, longer journeys and no new lines. Beeching really f**ked our transport system.
Paddy Ashdown: Military intervention in Zimbabwe 'could be justified'. About time someone mentioned it.
MoD contingency plans for military action in Zimbabwe. What with, The Dagenham Girl Pipers! Defence cuts have left us desperately short of manpower.
Romance of Italian dining car gives way to demand for food to go. Pity. Travelling through Europe by train is fun and the dining car was a great pert of the experience.
YES! The ultimate Obama endorsement! 'Lil Kim has pitched in.
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Quotes part 2
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. -- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan
I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
-- Mark Twain
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. -- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon Then it's time for my nap.
-- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it
-- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
-- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal
H/T Don Emslie
A Message from OPEC....
"We are at war with you infidels. Have been since the embargo in the 1970s. You are so arrogant you haven't even recognized it. You have more missiles, bombs, and technology; so we are fighting with the best weapon we have and extracting on a net basis about $700 billion/year out of your economy. We will destroy you! Death to
the infidels!
While I am here I would like to thank you for the following: Not developing your 250-300 year supply of oil shale and tar sands. We know if you did this, it would create millions of jobs for US citizens, expand your engineering capabilities, and keep the wealth in the US instead of sending it to us to finance our war against you idiots.
Thanks for limiting defense department purchases of oil sands from your neighbors to the north. We love it when you confuse your allies.
Thanks for over regulating every segment of your economy and thus delaying, by decades, the development of alternate fuel technologies.
Thanks for limiting drilling off your coasts, in Alaska , and anywhere there is a bug, bird, fish, or plant that might be inconvenienced. Better that your people suffer! Glad to see our lobbying efforts have been so effective.
Corn based Ethanol. Praise Allah for this sham program! Perhaps you will destroy yourself from the inside with theses types of policies. This is a gift from Allah, praise his name! We never would have thought of this one! This is better than when you pay your farmers NOT TO GROW FOOD. Have them use more energy to create less
energy, and simultaneously drive food prices through the roof.
Thank you U.S. Congress!!!! (With help from local and state governments!!)
And finally, we appreciate you letting us fleece you without end. You will be glad to know we have been accumulating shares in your banks, real estate, and publicly held companies. We also finance a good portion of your debt and now manipulate your markets, currency, and economies to our benefit."
THANK YOU AMERICA ! Allah Akbar!!!"
H/T Shelly
Monday, 23 June 2008
Stupid move of the Day....
Tsvangirai seeks refuge in Dutch Embassy. The Dutch were protecting the population of Srebrenica and that worked really well. He should have gone to the US Embassy. I would just love to see Mugabe's thugs try and get past the Marine Embassy Detail! Sadly our Foreign Office do not have the will or the balls to so something about Mugabe.
Stripping contests.......
My friends at You Strip have a little contest running. It's SFW
Also Zoo magazine have this
Euro 2008 Strip-Off! Semi-Finals! This is not SFW
Farm murders in South Africa......a documentary in two parts.
A must see for anyone who is concerned about Zimbabwe and the future prospects of South Africa.
Zimbabwe's problems are being copied in South Africa......
A couple of old articles which highlight the problems to come..
Death chant at ANC funeral leads to more murder of whites.
The Genocide In Democratic South Africa.
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B 25 model......
An experimental scale model of the B-25 plane is prepared for wind tunnel tests in the plant of the North American Aviation, Inc., Inglewood, Calif.
The Ever popular Rules of Gunfighting...all services edition.....
USMC Rules For Gun Fighting
1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns. Bring their friends who have guns.
2. If you can, make friends with those on the crew served weapons. Bring them as well. Borrow money from them, it gives them an added incentive to protect you.
3. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
4. Only hits count. Close doesn't count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
5. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
6. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
7. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
8. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived and who didn't.
9. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating (calling for arty or air support), reloading, and running.
10. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting is more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
11. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket."
12. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
13. In combat, there are no rules, always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
14. Have a plan.
15. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
16. Have a back-up, back-up plan in case CentCom or SecDef finds the first two plans "unacceptable".
17. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The only visible target should be in your gun sights.
18. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect your flank.
19. Don't drop your guard.
20. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
21. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
22. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
23. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
24. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
25. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
26. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
27. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4."
Army Rules for Gun Fighting
1. See USMC Rules to gun Fighting.
2. Add 60 to 90 days.
3. Hope the Marines already destroyed all meaningful resistance.
Navy Rules for Gun Fighting
1. Adopt an aggressive offshore posture.
2. Send in the Marines.
3. Drink Coffee and eat donuts.
Air Force Rules for Gun Fighting
1. Kiss the wife goodbye.
2. Drive to the base in your sports car.
3. Fly to target area, drop bombs, (try not to hit the Canuks) fly back to your home base.
4. BBQ some burgers and drink beer in your back yard, and talk shit about the Navy, Army and Marines.
H/T The Trainer
The Residents of Sadr City are a 'peaceful' bunch!!!!
Weapons seized by Iraqi security forces during recent operations in the Shiite enclave of Sadr City are displayed at the 9th Iraqi Army Division headquarters on, June 18, 2008 in southeastern Baghdad, Iraq. (Khalid Mohammed - Pool/Getty Images)
H/T DML
New Top Gear....The beginning and a great piece on 'fuel economy'......A BMW M3 is more economical than a Prius!!
..there is more when you scroll down
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Quotes from the past....part 1
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. -- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante
H/T Don Emslie
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