Saturday, 28 June 2008
Iraq News from DJ Elliot
Mahdi Army decimated during recent fighting. by Bill Roggio.
Sadr’s army dissolving? by Ed Morrissey
U.S. handover of Iraq's Anbar province delayed. By a sandstorm
And the casualty rates are falling.
Ed and Harriet met while on a cruise, and Ed fell head over heels in love with her. On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how they would continue their relationship.
"It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut," Ed said to his lady friend. "I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's a problem, you'd better say so now."
Harriet responded, "If we're being honest with each other, here goes ... I'm a hooker."
"I see," Ed replied, and was quiet for a moment. Then he added, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off."
H/T Don Emslie
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
H/T Liz B
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Light News...
Force bans village bobby from bike because he hasn't passed his cycling proficiency. You couldn't make this up!
Suspected al-Qa'eda terrorist leader to be freed on bail. Welcome to the British legal system.
Hugo Chavez's Venezuela 'supplies half of Britain's cocaine'. It is about time that someone did something to put Chavez out of business.
Queen refused government grant because of 2012 Olympic Games. The Queen does more for this country in a weekend than al the politicians manage in a lifetime. The Olympics are going to be an expensive shambles.
Zimbabweans refuse to vote and spoil ballot papers despite Robert Mugabe's violent threats. The poor sods are going to be stuck under Mugabe's murderous rule until he dies, 'cos the West have no balls.
James May: Lighten up.
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Friday, 27 June 2008
DML wants to know what this is.....
...looks like an Otter to me. Once again I have a huge backlog of e-mails, I will be getting to them tomorrow.
Theo's predictions for 2008....
I made these on Jan 1 on the old site. I am not doing too bad.
Hillary will not make it to the White House.
Gordon Brown will be ousted from power.
Londoners will get rid of Ken Livingstone.
Someone somewhere will detonate a nuclear device.
The poor bloody Darfuris will continue to suffer.
Britney/Paris/Lindsay will pose for Playboy.
Television audiences will drop by 20%.
The Patriots win the SuperBowl.
Britain's Economy goes tits up.
Why I love the internet....
Lisa Edelstein - Schoolgirl from last nights episode of House. My recorder wouldn't work quick enough to get it but some genius had already got it. Enjoy.
Incidentally clicking this pic could be considered NSFW. Yes it is a fake but a good one.
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Light News....
Bang to rights: U.S. gun owners applaud Supreme Court ruling that individuals CAN bear arms. Can we borrow the supreme court for a while?
EU forces market trader to pulp thousands of kiwi fruit because they're ONE MILLIMETRE too small. Pathetic lunacy in times of food shortages.
Henley by-election: Tories beat humiliated Labour into fifth place. There are some Labour backbenches shi**ing themsleves now.
Maria Sharapova's grunts at Wimbledon 'like pneumatic drill'. And now she is out we can get some peace and quiet.
Mexicans urged to reclaim a piece of Texas. There are some rich Mexicans!!
Robert Mugabe runs for president unopposed. Can't someone shoot him in the polling station.
North Korea removed from US 'axis of evil'. Why does my definition of 'removed' involve a different meaning!
Documentary: The Truth about Britain's Food Prices..part 3.
This bit is worth watching if you want to know how 'futures' work
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