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Thursday, 4 September 2008
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
Russia recognises Disneyland
The new Cold War crisis deepened yesterday following Russia’s decision to recognize the breakaway region of Disneyland in Florida. Previously part of the United States, Disneyland has for many years been a semi-autonomous, self-governing region, with distinctive traditions, culture and strict border controls which requires United States visitors to queue at length before presenting their papers (such as the 7 Day ‘Magic Your Way’ e-ticket).
American servicemen yesterday entered the disputed territory, and screams and sirens were heard by witnesses. The servicemen then emerged looking excited and soaking wet, clutching a photo of themselves sliding down a water chute. The crisis comes after other nations have expressed concerns about worker exploitation in Disneyland, where it is rumoured that dwarves are employed in the diamond mines and forced to sleep seven to a room, despite the huge diamonds that are unearthed, ready-cut from the ground. There are also a number of on-going power struggles within the area, between local leaders such as Cruella De Ville and Pongo, Sheer Khan and Bagheera, Gaston and the Beast and Maleficent and Sleeping Beauty. ‘These are complex disputes’ said one UN observer, ‘there is no simple right and wrong in any of these cases.’
But now with Russia’s formal communiqué to Mickey Mouse, the spiritual leader of Disneyland, a huge boost has been given to the region’s hopes for full independence, prompting jubilant scenes outside the Enchanted Palace, where Disneyland inhabitants paraded through the streets, dressed in giant cartoon animal costumes, waving at the crowd. ‘It makes me so proud,’ said a Disney merchandise vendor from Main Street, ‘We haven’t seen a parade like this since, well, yesterday…’
H/T DML
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UK Troops in Huge Turbine Mission
Almost three thousand British troops in southern Afghanistan have successfully transported a huge hydroelectric power turbine through Taleban territory.
In one of their biggest operations in Helmand, a convoy of 100 vehicles took five days to move the massive sections of the turbine 180km (112 miles).
The $6m (£3.4m) turbine will produce electricity for an extra 1.9m people.
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Bedtime Totty...
Normal service should be restored by next week, the email inbox is overloaded and I will be getting to them ASAP.
The Night Crawler.....
Gordon Brown, or Gordon the Useless One as he is known by some of his colleagues, was looking for a lady of the night.
He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
To the blonde he said, ‘I am the Prime Minister of England. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?’
She replied, ‘£200.’
To the brunette he asked the same question.
Her reply was ‘£100.’
He then asked the redhead
Her reply was, ‘Mr. Prime Minister, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in, and keep it rising like the price of petrol, keep me warmer than it is in my flat and screw me the way you have Pensioners, then it isn't going to cost you a bloody penny!’
H/T Andi B
Light News...
Sticking it to Gazprom. Nuclear power is the answer.
Now the Home Office says 'cheap' Blunkett Bobbies should be used as an alternative to trained police. Should!! I thought they already were.
Five women who wanted to pick their own husbands buried alive in mass honour killing. Welcome to Islam.
Norfolk village tells drivers 'Slow You Down'. Proper English!! It is time Norfolk declared independence.
Control of Anbar province handed over to Iraqi forces. Another positive step for Iraq.
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Promotional Feature!!!
New Nail Gun, made by Dewalt. It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards.
This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence. Just get the wife and kids to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back, relax with a cold drink, when they have the board in the right place just fire away. With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading.
After a day of fence building with the new Dewalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to fix or build anything else.
H/T DML
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Monday, 1 September 2008
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Sunday, 31 August 2008
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