Sunday, 26 October 2008
The Sunday Best....
Dept. Of Peace. Only an effing Democrat could think of this.
Signs Pointing To A McCain Victory. Oh how the media will weep.
Dino Rossi in Everett. On the election trail.
Horrified Darling knew Icelandic banks were in trouble, secret tape reveals. And he did nothing. It may not have stopped the rot but sitting around with his head up Browns's backside didn't help.
Survivors' tales of the Great War, 90 years on. A dying breed.
In President Ahmadinejad's hometown in Iran, hope goes up in opium smoke. As does his career. Hopefully he will be gone soon.
Life and death a matter of cash withdrawals in Zimbabwe's crumbling hospitals. The suffering continues.
For sale at £20m: Saddam’s floating palace of bling. No doubt financed by 'Oil for Fraud'.
the Clarkypoos Bit
Take in a prisoner as a lodger and that’s two problems solved.
Renault Twingo Renaultsport 133
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The Sunday Sermon....I am a Bad American.
I am the Liberals Worst Nightmare.
I am an American.
I believe in God.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized,and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Denny Crane .
I don’t hate the rich.
I don’t pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don’t waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I believe if you don’t like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!
This is AMERICA ..We like it the way it is! If you were born here and don’t like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my drivers license.I think it’s good….. And I’m proud that ‘God’ is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making ‘donations’ to their cause. Get a Job and do your part!
I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American.
H/T DML
Saturday, 25 October 2008
On this Day in History.....
...we smacked the crap out of the French at Agincourt
and the Light Brigade rode into history at Balaclava and took the Russian Guns.
Jules has the full post.
Wisdom of Years.....
* I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
* I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
* I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
* I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big willy or huge boobs.
* I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
* I’ve learned that you can keep puking long after you think you’re finished.
* I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
* I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
* I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
H/T DML
News....
'Worst financial crisis in human history': Bank boss's warning as pound suffers biggest fall for 37 years. The media do love to panic people.
Islamic courts cleared to deal with family and divorce disputes as Government endorses sharia. WTF!!
The £1 pub meal: Struggling landlord beats credit crunch by selling value dinners. Good honest grub.
Lord Mandelson admits public were misled over relationship with Russian oligarch. Lying sleazy c**t. He has no place in British politics.
Iran's president under pressure amid poor health rumours. Imadinnerjacket is not a well boy!!
Barack Obama breaks from campaign to be with ill grandmother. You can guarantee she will not survive. Nothing like a dead granny to win a few votes.
French accuse English of war crimes and exaggeration over Agincourt. Bad losers the Frogs.
Red faces over yellow line fiasco. How do people this stupid get employed?
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Friday, 24 October 2008
Peter Kay One Liners
1) I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'
2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! >From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
8) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
9) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?'
I said 'No, six should be enough.'
11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
13) You know that look women get when they want s*x? No, me neither
14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
15) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before
H/T Liz B
Light News...
Hiring Gurkha girls will weaken British Army, warns top brass. Rubbish. All Gurkhas are welcome. They are fantastic people.
Violent crime up 22% as Home Office admits police have been under-recording serious offences for ten years. About time the truth on crime came out.
2.5p increase in income tax needed to fill Government's £125bn black hole. The final nail in Labours coffin.
Police fear riots if Barack Obama loses US election. Nothing compared to the carnage if he wins.
Iraq: US forces hand over Triangle of Death. More progress.
North Korea clamps down on mobile phones to stop news of food crisis. They have mobile phones!!
And this....
Undercover agent Larry Grathwohl discusses the Weather Underground’s post-revolution governing plans for the United States on a YouTube video. H/T Thomas H & Nebraska Bob
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LITTLE RALPHIE ON MATH
Little RALPHIE is in school, and the teacher says, 'RALPHIE, there are six birds sitting on a telephone wire, and a hunter shoots one of them with his shotgun. How many birds are left?'
Little RALPHIE replies, ‘NONE – the rest of the birds flew away!’
Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘The correct answer is five, Little RALPHIE, but I like the way you think.’
‘OK, Teacher,’ says Little RALPHIE, ‘Now I have a question for you: there are three women sitting eating ice cream cones. The first one is just taking little licks, the second one is carefully licking up and down and all about the sides of her ice cream cone, and the third one opens her mouth wide and takes the entire ice cream cone into her mouth. Which one of these women is married?’
‘Oooh! . . . er . . . uh . . . um . . .’ Miss Rogers replies nervously, ‘Why, I suppose it’s the one who opens her mouth and takes the entire ice cream cone in her mouth . . .’
‘Wrong, Teacher!’ Little RALPHIE replies, ‘It’s the woman wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think!’
H/Ts 45Govt & Stormbringer
