.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Video: Sebastian Vettel explains 2009 F1 rule changes....
...getting rid of refuelling in 2010 will help as well.
H/T Flabber
A Bit of Morning Humour....
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband : 'Nothing.'
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
-------------------------------
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'
-------------------------------
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
--------------------------------------------------------
Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.! '
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
------------------------------
Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
------------------------------------------------------------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
-------------------------------
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'Your sense of humour!'
H/T Pete Hurrell
Monday, 16 February 2009
Finally a Buy British Food video thingy....
..it's a bit weak but it's heart is in the right place. Britain should only import foodstuffs that we cannot produce ourselves.
H/T Iain Dale
.jpg)
.jpg)
Is this for real?
The Global Trip: Erik Gets Shot In Colombia.
PS: Do not try this at home.
His site is HERE
Article of the Day....
England MP Lord Ahmed Threatens UK Democracy With 10,000 Terrorists. Ignore the fact that he is not an MP, just some Lord. How he became a Lord is open to debate.
H/T Maurice B
What is a grandparent?
(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.
A grandfather is a man & a grandmother is a lady!
Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.
They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on ‘cracks.’
They don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don’t have to be smart. They have to answer questions like ‘Why isn’t God married?’ and ‘How come dogs chase cats?’
When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have snack time before bed time and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ”OH,” HE SAID, ” SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE’RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.”
GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS BUT I DON’T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
H/T DML
Quote of the Day.....
'The octuplets mom has started her own website. She is now accepting donations.
This is for people who missed the chance to give their money to Bernard Madoff.'
- Jay Leno
H/T DML
Video: Kicking butt in Iraq compilation....
...why do these guys have such an appalling taste in music?
News......
Nuclear Submarines 'Crash In The Atlantic'. The Frog was making so much noise that our guys couldn't hear where they were going.
Mystery 'Fireballs' Fall From The Texas Sky. It all happens in Texas.
Hugo Chávez wins referendum over extension of presidency. Translation: Chavez successfully rigs ballot. Expect them Dems to pull the same stunt in the US.
Squaddies hit by online chat ban. As if that is going to stop them
A father in a devil mask, lurid claims over Chantelle's sex life and growing fears over 13-year-old Alfie's baby. Welcome to modern Britain.
£100bn 'black hole' predicted for Government as it tries to bring recession under control. It is missing a zero.
Shoppers switch to own brands as food prices soar. And the supermarkets are exploiting this by sticking up the prices of the 'own brands'.
'We ran out of shavers': Doctors' extraordinary excuses for axing 1,000 NHS operations a week. The NHS is a shambles and always has been. We need to make private health care tax deductible.
Men really do see half naked women as 'objects', scientists claim. No objection here.
North Korea to go ahead with missile launch. They really want to see how far they can push us. Sadly with the present mob in the White House I don't see any response other than begging them to behave.
Taliban in Swat valley call 10-day ceasefire. Ultimately we are going to have to go into Pakistan to eradicate the Taleban.
Price of farmland falls as City workers abandon dream of rural retreat. Good. Keep the townies out. They bring nothing to village life.
First Sea Lord says Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts have delayed new aircraft carriers. The last thing we should be delaying are the carriers. If their is a cash flow problem raid the MP's and civil service pension funds, it is not as if they have done anything to deserve a pension.
Life in Zimbabwe's Mutare jail. There truly is hell on earth.
Somali radicals 'importing terror to UK' say intelligence analysts. Why the f**k are these people getting into the country?
Russia's super-rich down to last few billions as fortunes slip away. Ahhhhhhhhh......
Robert Mugabe henchmen bent on sabotaging fragile partnership. They must be targeted and killed.
Take me to your leader. You badly need one. Cue Bonnie Tyler.
OSINT flash: Obama dropped military sanctions against Iran How long before Obama gets impeached for treason?
Tripp Research. Gun pron at Boomers and BS
and finally....
The most outrageous US lawsuits. OMFG. I though things were bad over here. We need to get rid of no win, no fee.
Anglers banned over fears their could catch passers-by. Silly season is early this year.
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Sanity Test........
If you stare at this picture for about 10 seconds you should be able to see a giraffe.
This is weird. Give it a try. 
Have a Happy Mental Health Monday.
H/T Shelly
The 23rd Psalm.......
GORDON BROWN IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WORK.
HE LEADETH ME BESIDE THE STILL FACTORIES.
HE RESTORETH MY FAITH IN THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY.
HE GUIDETH ME IN THE PATH OF UNEMPLOYMENT.
YEA, THOUGH I WAIT FOR MY DOLE,
I OWN THE BANK THAT REFUSES ME.
BROWN HAS ANNOINTED MY INCOME WITH TAXES,
MY EXPENSES RUNNETH OVER MY INCOME,
SURELY, POVERTY AND HARD LIVING WILL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF HIS TERM.
FROM HENCE FORTH WE WILL LIVE ALL THE DAYS
OF OUR LIVES IN A RENTED HOME WITH AN OVERSEAS LANDLORD.
I AM GLAD I AM BRITISH,
I AM GLAD I AM FREE.
BUT I WISH I WERE A DOG
AND BROWN WAS A TREE.
H/T Maurice B
Sunday, 15 February 2009
The Witches of Wesminster....
Talking of witches isn't this Margaret Beckett touring her constituency??
The 'loyal' wife.......
...I have been waiting a couple of weeks to find an embeddable version of this.
H/T's to Althouse, Mullholland Drive and Barnsley Bill
TOP TEN REASONS MEN DON'T SAY "I LOVE YOU"
1. They don't mean it.
2. They want to get laid, but not "that" bad.
3. Their fathers didn't say it to their mothers.
4. Their Fathers Didn't Say It To Them
5. They don't want to be trapped in some long-term thing.
6. They've said it before and found out they were wrong.
7. They think it is much cooler to say it to other men, like Sammy and Frank.
8. It will lead to "I'll marry you".
9. It has become a throw-away phrase.
10. If they say it, their penises will fall off.
TOP TEN REASONS WOMEN WANT MEN TO SAY "I LOVE YOU"
1. They like the words.
2. Girls, at times, think that the "words" are important.
3. They can brag to their friends that they got him to do it.
4. It makes them feel all tingly to hear it.
5. Commitment/Power evil grin
6. He ain't gettin ANY unless he does.
7. It makes up for what a jerk he is the rest of the time.
8. It makes sex better.
9. The woman can say it back without risking rejection.
10. The woman wants to see his penis fall off.
H/T DML
This is how you question people about bonuses.......
.......Rep. Manzullo Questions Bailout Czar Neel Kashkari
The Sunday Best....
Mark Steyn: So far, it's been Obamateur Hour. H/T Jules
'PM To Blame For Banking Crisis'. Brown is finished.
Body in charge of UK policing policy is now an £18m-a-year brand charging the public £70 for a 60p criminal records check. Plod are just a branch of the Inland Revenue. Fining motorists etc is now more important than catching criminals as Brown desperately tries to raise cash to fill in the bloody great hole on Britain's finances.
George Galloway £1million aid convoy link to three terror suspects arrested on M65. The words Galloway and terrorism always seem to crop up together.
Cameron: I would ban Scottish MPs from voting on English-only issues. Bit late. The damage has already been done. He should also stop the Barnett Subsidies.
Metric Maulers: Why does the BBC insist on weighing the British rugby players in kilograms? Because they are pro-EU.
Pictured: The supergun that kills from a mile - and the camouflaged crackshots using it against the Taliban.
The GodMOTHER: Transsexual Mafia boss who wears lipstick and calls himself Kitty arrested by Italian police. WTF!
LORD DIGBY JONES: Gordon Brown says that he will create 100,000 jobs. One in four will be shelf-stackers. And the other 3 will work in the public sector.
Barack Obama sends bust of Winston Churchill on its way back to Britain. Good. If he hadn't Winston would have risen from the grave and gone a fetched it himself.
Geert Wilders to sue Jacqui Smith over decision to deport controversial film-maker. Go for it. I can't wait to see her squirm in the dock.
Bentley axes jobs as car industry slump continues. Buy British, buy a Bentley. (We will ignore the fact that it is owned by Porche/VW)
Four Britons to join first tourist trip to Baghdad. It's probably safer than parts of London.
Russian navy captures 10 Somali pirates. Siberia is going to be a big change from Somalia.
Global warming 'underestimated'. More lies and bulls**t from the eco-nazis.
The breaking news the BBC wouldn't tell. It pretty much sums up the BBC. (See story above)
TESSA JOWELL, the Olympics minister, wants the 2012 Games to meet equality targets by allowing women to compete in heavyweight wrestling and men in synchronised swimming. The very first 'pink' olympics.
Nuclear lies are keeping you afraid. The eco-nazis would have us all living in the dark ages.
Madam reveals weasel ways of the spanking governor. An update on sleazy Spitzer. Another dodgy democrat.
Life-saving Sentinel R1 spy planes grounded by lack of crews. The MoD true to form. They have had years to get crews ready and yet again they have failed.
Obama’s new deal is the same old blunder. And everyone except the socialist and liberals knows it.
Harry’s on course to learn diverse varieties of tosh. And it won't make a bit of difference. Good old Harry.
....the Zinbabwe bit.
Found: Robert Mugabe’s secret bolthole in the Far East. The Chinese have been helping him for years. He and his wife must face 'justice' preferably at the hands of a mob.
Grasping Grace puts diamond business on her shopping list. One woman the world would be better off without.
Robert Mugabe loyalists plan final eviction of white farmers as his "birthday present". If the British government had any balls they would make sure that Mugabe didn't make it to his 85th birthday.
...Clarkypoos is pissing about down under so nothing from him this week.
Helicopter carrying Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond in emergency landing as seagull hits on take-off.
Little Jimmy May is still about....
The roadshow must go on.
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.gif)
.gif)
Economic Editorial .....from Rico.
In the movie "Casino" DeNiro's character says at one point: "You can either have the Money and the Hammer, or you can walk out of here."
We did NOT get the option. No chance to walk away from this steaming piece of legislation (a.k.a. "Porkulus"). We ALL lost a lotta money.
- Now you KNOW what the Democrats really 'think' of us...the TAXPAYERS. The TAXSPENDERS just gave us the HAMMER!
The largest spending bill in all of American history was just passed by Congress UNREAD! They didn't get to read it like the lobbyists did, but hey...we the public didn't get a chance to read it either.
- I'm still waiting to see the results of LBJ's "War on Poverty" myself...I wonder how well that one is going?
WAY TO GO TEAM OBAMA!!!!! YAY!!!!!
Of course NONE of these economic geniuses cleverly disguised as career politicians, NOR their lackeys in the media (a.k.a. The Ministry of Truth) are making any effort at all to inform us that THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IS BANKRUPT! Guess they're too busy celebrating the passage of Porkulus.
By the USG not using GAAP (generally accepted accounting procedures) they are managing to "hide" from the public the fact that:
- Federal obligations of $65.5 trillion exceeds the World's GDP and is FOUR TIMES the size of the US GDP.
- Over and above this, the USG has a NEGATIVE NET WORTH of another $59.3 trillion.
The Gooberment is truly bankrupt.
There is NO magic "re-fi" for this. The sheer magnitude of USG DEBT is now beyond ANY hope of containment. Period.
- We will have to print more money to stall the inevitable and 'buy' some time...but some REAL DAMAGE has been done to us.
People have gone to prison (Enron) and wars have been started over less than this.....................
Video: Dedicated to Royal Marines past and Present.
Created by someone as a tribute to his uncle. It is well worth a watch.
COMIC GENIUS....
1. Two blondes walked into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want marijuana, press the hash key...'
3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high..'
6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.
8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.
11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.'
'Is it common? '
'It's not unusual.'
13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.'
'What? Because he's cross-eyed? '
'No, because he's really heavy'
14. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you start.'
15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bast**d!'
20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
21. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore'
H/T DML
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
