H/T Shelly
Monday, 11 May 2009
News.....
Now it's Tories on the rack over expenses: Cameron says sorry after HIS top team claim thousands in taxpayers' cash. Is there anyone in Parliament who isn't a crook?
MPs' EXPENSES: 'I didn't come into politics not to take what's owed to me' - What the Speaker allegedly told an MP. Throw him in the Thames and let's see if s**t floats.
Say goodbye to the sunny weather... rain and wind are set to batter Britain for most of the week. More of that global warming.
Hundreds of illegal immigrants armed with knives and crowbars swarm round Calais trucks heading for Britain. Time the bloody French did something about this.
General Petraeus lays groundwork for success in Afghanistan. It will become a side show if Pakistan goes tits up.
Father-of-four beaten to death after confronting teenagers outside home. Find them, hang them.
Military training exercises cut by half due to cost-cutting by MoD. Get rid of the MoD and save billions.
Man complains his pizza has no topping - until he realises it is upside down.
Pakistan army ready for house-house combat with Taliban. A bit bloody late.
US denies using white phosphorus in Afghan strikes. Use MOAB instead.
King Abdullah II of Jordan warns world faces war if Middle East peace talks break down. Until Syria and Iran have regime change the threat of war will always exist.
Labour plots to keep MPs’ allowances under wraps in the future. Expect a lot of independent candidates at the next election.
Spanish discontent as soup kitchens spring up. Spain is in real trouble.
A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.
He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun.
Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged … shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
‘Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news.. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.’
‘What’s the bad news?’ asked the hunter.
‘The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.’
‘Well I guess that isn’t too bad,’ the hunter replied. ‘Is your sister a plastic surgeon?’
‘Not exactly.’ answered the doctor. ‘She’s a flute player in the Chicago Symphony. She’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your eye.’
H/T DML
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How to Drive in Los Angeles.......
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L A, with accent on the second syllable: (el AY)
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. EXCEPTION: Friday's rush hour starts late morning on Thursday.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, match your speed to the highway number. Anything less is considered "wussy."
4. Forget traffic rules you learned elsewhere. LA has its own version. For example, at a four-way stop the car or truck with the loudest muffler goes first; those with the biggest tires go second. EXCEPTION: in Malibu, all SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have right-of-way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. Or you'll be looking down the muzzle of someone's handy highway helper.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous throughout LA and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment leisure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. MapQuest does not work here. None of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do, and all the freeway off- and on-ramps are relocated each night.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave the m to the shoulder
immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you
are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time. Just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments; by noon Thursday for Friday appointments; and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
H/T Shelly
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Movie Review: 'Cadillac Records'......
This film covers the rise of Chess Records in the South side of Chicago. It opens with the wheeling and dealing Leonard Chess (Adrian Brody) establishing his business and finding his talent. The talent he finds continue reading
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Tacoma news of protest failure.....
Anti-war groups protesting the deployment of our Stryker brigades to Afghanistan gathered tonight ...continue reading
Wow: Flying under Stockholm
Don't show this to Predator pilots, they will get ideas.
The challange was to do the impossible, fly a huge aerobatic RC-plane under Stockholm through a 3.9km long tunnel called Södra länken.
The plane is 80" wide and weighs 13lb. The mighty electric motor provides 35lb of thrust and a topspeed closer to 120mph.
H/T DML
White Wash at the White House?
Possibly not but you'll find Jonathan Gabay's "White Wash" Ning group quite interesting. It's the group for his new book "Soul Traders" which will be available in the UK and elsewhere later this month. Timing for his book launch couldn't have been better, right slap bang middle of the MP's expenses scandal which has rocked the British government. Jonathan writes about it here on his main blog.
Who is the odd man out in this list - and more importantly why ?
Lord Stevenson: Former chairman, HBOS.
Andy Hornby: Former chief executive, HBOS.
Sir Fred Goodwin: Former chief executive, RBS.
Sir Tom McKillop: Former chairman, RBS.
John McFall MP: Chairman of Treasury select committee.
Alistair Darling: Chancellor of the Exchequer.
Gordon Brown: Prime Minister and former Chancellor.
Sir Terry Wogan: Presenter of Radio 2's 'Breakfast Show'.
You're probably thinking .. "Terry Wogan"
You're right, However, though the actual reason might surprise you ...................
Terry Wogan is the only one out of this motley crew who actually holds any formal banking qualification !!
H/T DML
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Clueless in Washington.....from Rico
The Audacity of Unawareness
April 15th, 2009 5:03pm Barack Obama, through his spokesman, claimed today that he was unaware of the tax day tea parties. Granted, the MSM has done a good job in suppressing any sort of coverage ahead of time (and the little coverage they did provide was derisive at best)… but how out of touch is the Community Organizer in Chief, really?
This much.
- He was unaware that he was attending a church (for 20 years) with a racist pastor who hates America.
- He was unaware that he was family friends with, and started his political career in the living room of, a domestic terrorist.
- He was unaware that he had invested in two speculative companies backed by some of his top donors right after taking office in 2005.
- He was unaware that his own aunt was living in the US illegally.
- He was unaware that his own brother lives on pennies a day in a hut in Kenya.
- He was unaware of the AIG bonuses that he and his administration approved and signed into a bill.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of Commerce was under investigation in a bribery scandal.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of Health and Human Services was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of the Treasury was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be the U.S. Trade Representative was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the woman he nominated to be his Chief Performance Officer was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be #2 at the Environmental Protection Agency was under investigation for mismanaging $25 million in EPA grants.
For the love of God, there are people in comas that are more aware of world affairs than this guy.
Kitchen Wisdom..............
One of these women has good advice - you choose!
#1 Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
#2 Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!
#1 To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
#2 Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.
#1 When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
#2 Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!
#1 If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'
#2 If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'
#1 Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
#2 Celery? Never heard of it!
#1 Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
#2 The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.
#1 Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
#2 Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!
#1 Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
#2 Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!
H/T Shelly
HOW TO GET PERMISSION TO PLAY GOLF............
Four married guys go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place:
First Guy:
'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend.. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.'
Second Guy:
'That's nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.'
Third Guy:
'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.'
They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has Not said a word.
So they ask him, 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?'
Fourth guy:
'I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. When it went off, I gave the wife a slap on the ass and said: 'Golf course or intercourse?' She said: 'Wear sun-block'
H/T Shelly
Ths Sunday Best.....
The Speaker's scapegoat: Official who signed off MPs' expenses didn't even have accountancy qualification. The Speaker must go.
Dissolve this rotten Parliament before it corrupts public life altogether. Sack the lot and start afresh. Use the military to remove them if necessary.
13 days, 2 hours and 50 minutes ... now that IS a marathon: Soldier who lost use of legs in Iraq finishes London race. A true hero.
Breathtaking account of one of Second World War's most dangerous jobs.... gunner on a Lancaster bomber. Amazing.
Brown the most unpopular PM since polling began - and half want him to quit now. The other 50% want to string him up.
Revealed: The secret report that shows how the Nazis planned a Fourth Reich ...in the EU. The EU isn't much different.
Helmand commanders prepare for a summer of violence as four dead soldiers named. We must stop fighting a 'media friendly' war.
Barack Obama's rich supporters fear his tax plans show he's a class warrior. The penny drops. Bit bloody late now.
Dmitry Medvedev at Moscow missile parade: 'Russia will teach aggressors a lesson'. He knows their is a wimp in the White House. This century is shaping up to be potentially the bloodiest ever. There is trouble brewing all over the shop.
Brown set for election wipeout. Who will put him out of his misery.
Hawaii Lawmakers Pass Bill to Create 'Islam Day'. WTF!!!
Sikh policemen to get bulletproof turbans so they can join firearms units. (H/T Camaron)
the Clarkypoos bit....
Change fast, before we all gag on the fabric of British life.
Citroën C3 Picasso 1.6HDi 110 Exclusive.
and little Jimmy May.....
All things to all men (and women and vicars)
and finally...
Secretary accidentally bites off boss’ penis. (H/T Filippo)
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LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT.......from Rico
Not only is NO ONE listening, but NO ONE in Team Obama cares one bit. Anyone who has not quaffed deeply from the Communist (D) kool aid is obviously (a) a limbic-brained racist neanderthal and not worthy of any respect or consideration, (b) incandescently stoopid and not at all "cool and "progressive", (c) real pathetic losers like those fellows in 1776, and (d) completely lacking that radical chic factor shared by all the smugly superior intellects like Nancy Reid, Harry Pelosi, Bawney Fag...and YES the ObaMarx hisself, our great Fearless Leader and first comrade in the land. (The Chairman, mein ObaMeinFuhrer, etc also suggest themselves as appropriate titles...but I'm sure Fidel, Chavez, Putin, and a slew of other liberators of the downtrodden masses of 'oppressed' can provide any number of touchie-feelie great sounding titles to the pResident who hates his country so very much he is intentionlly destroying it!!!).
THAT IS RIGHT. DESTROYING. INTENTIONALLY. THAT IS THE REAL PLAN. America is so 'mean' [thank you Lady Michele MacBeth ObaMarx for that pithy zinger] and deeply flawed it mustMUSTmust be torn down from within and a new 'paradise for the proletariat' constructed!!!!!
Mr. Obama:
I have had it with you and your administration, sir. Your conduct on your recent trip overseas has convinced me that you are not an adequate representative of the United States of America collectively or of me personally.
You are so obsessed with appeasing the Europeans and the Muslim world that you have abdicated the responsibilities of the President of the United States of America . You are responsible to the citizens of the United States . You are not responsible to the peoples of any other country on earth.
I personally resent that you go around the world apologizing for the United States telling Europeans that we are arrogant and do not care about their status in the world. Sir, what do you think the First World War and the Second World War were all about if not the consideration of the peoples of Europe? Are you brain dead? What do you think the Marshall Plan was all about? Do you not understand or know the history of the 20th century?
Where do you get off telling a Muslim country that the United States does not consider itself a Christian country? Have you not read the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution of the United States ? This country was founded on Judeo-Christian ethics and the principles governing this country, at least until you came along, come directly from this heritage. Do you not understand this?
Your bowing to the king of Saudi Arabia is an affront to all Americans. Our President does not bow down to anyone, let alone the king of Saudi Arabia . You dont show Great Britain , our best and one of our oldest allies, the respect they deserve yet you bow down to the king of Saudi Arabia . How dare you, sir! How dare you!
You can't find the time to visit the graves of our greatest generation because you don't want to offend the Germans but make time to visit a mosque in Turkey . You offended our dead and every veteran when you give the Germans more respect than the people who saved the German people from themselves. What's the matter with you?
I am convinced that you and the members of your administration have the historical and intellectual depth of a mud puddle and should be ashamed of yourselves, all of you.
You are so self-righteously offended by the big bankers and the American automobile manufacturers yet do nothing about the real thieves in this situation, Mr. Dodd, Mr. Frank, Franklin Raines, Jamie Gorelic, the Fannie Mae bonuses, and the Freddie Mac bonuses. What do you intend to do about them? Anything? I seriously doubt it.
What about the U.S. House members passing out $9.1 million in bonuses to their staff members on top of the $2.5 million in automatic pay raises that lawmakers gave themselves? I understand the average House aide got a 17% bonus. I took a 5% cut in my pay to save jobs with my employer. You haven't said anything about that. Who authorized that? I surely didn't!
Executives at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac will be receiving $210 million in bonuses over an eighteen-month period, that's $45 million more than the AIG bonuses. In fact, Fannie and Freddie executives have already been awarded $51 million; not a bad take. Who authorized that and why haven't you expressed your outrage at this group who are largely responsible for the economic mess we have right now.
I resent that you take me and my fellow citizens as brain-dead and not caring about what you idiots do. We are watching what you are doing and we are getting increasingly fed up with all of you. I also want you to know that I personally find just about everything you do and say to be offensive to every one of my sensibilities. I promise you that I will work tirelessly to see that you do not get a chance to spend two terms destroying my beautiful country.
Sincerely,
Every real American
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