Tuesday, 2 June 2009
The economy is so bad-that you have to laugh at it
1. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.
2. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
3. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
4. Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars are now trading higher than GM.
5. Obama met with small businesses - GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.
6. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
7. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
8. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.
9. People in Africa are donating money to Americans.. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, “finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in the US?”
10. Motel Six won’t leave the lights on.
11. The Mafia is laying off judges.
12. If the bank returns your check marked “insufficient funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
H/T DML
Politically Incorrect News......
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque. They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care... One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.
During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham Council said 'We didn't even know they were living up there'.
Asian Minorities in the UK have complained that there is not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
H/T James M
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Monday, 1 June 2009
Repost: Richard Hammond presents Bloody Omaha (the graphics)
It's amazing what you can do....
H/T Scotty
Site of the Day...
Toby Winteringham Furniture. Hand made contemporary furniture made locally in Norfolk.
News.....
The End of the Affair. PJ O'Rourke on GM.
Journalists who don't kiss Obama's feet. Some can see right through him.
Two pharmacy robberies, two different outcomes. The difference between Texas and Oklahoma.
The vultures circle Brown: I'll fight on, vows PM as backbenchers plan to get rid of him. We must have an election before he does anymore damage. He should be certified.
Mandelson accused of Vauxhall 'stitch-up' amid fears that car jobs could be lost to Russia. Vauxhall will go the same way as Rover.
Last survivor of the Titanic dies aged 97. At least she had a long life.
MPs' expenses: Alistair Darling billed us for two homes at the same time. Jail the crook.
More British troops needed in Afghanistan 'to safeguard reputation with US'. More British troops needed period!
Troops' lives being put at risk after MoD cuts five new equipment programmes. The MoD are our troops biggest enemy. Both they and the government need to go.
D-Day veterans to sound last post on Normandy beaches. Pity Her Majesty won't be there with them. She should hold a party for all the D-Day veterans.
Battle of Britain hero Sir Douglas Bader honoured with blue plaque. About time.
North Korea 'preparing to fire long-range missile'. Now they are taking the piss!
Blondes march in Latvia 'to cheer-up nation'.
Barack Obama extends hand of friendship to Muslim world. It might get cut off.
Robert Mugabe's thugs chanted: 'We will eat your children'. Still think the military option is the only one that will work.
20 ways to say your fly is open...........
20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You've got Windows in your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7) The car is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
And The Number One Way To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped...
1) I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.
H/T DML
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There are 10 very important men in a woman's life:
Her doctor, who says: “Take your clothes off.”
Her dentist, who says: “Open wide.”
Her veterinarian, who says: “And how is your little pussy doing today?”
Her gardener, who says: “Do you want me to mulch your bush?”
Her hairdresser, who says: “Do you want it teased or blown?”
Her interior decorator, who says: “You’ll like it once it’s in.”
Her hunter, who goes deep into the bush, shoots several times, and always eats what he shoots.
Her chippy, who says: “It fits tongue-in-groove with a little hammering.”
Her milkman, who says: “Do you want it in front or in back?”
Her banker, who says: “If you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest.”
H/T DML
Sunday, 31 May 2009
End of Live Free or Die?
Judi McLeod and Jean Coutu
Email Article
By Judi McLeod and Jean Coutu Saturday, May 30, 2009
Putting it in the vernacular of little people everywhere: “The worst has happened”.
The 4th Annual New Hampshire Live Free or Die Rally is quickly sinking into a quagmire of bureaucratic red tape, and with no 11th hour reprieve on the horizon, chief organizer Jean Coutu may have to cancel.
Billed as the All Free, Only TRUE First Amendment Rally in the U.S., this years Live Free or Die Rally is scheduled for August 21, 22 and 23.
“It looks like it’s finally over. Not just for us, but for the right to assemble, Coutu wrote Canada Free Press (CFP) in an email today. “Though I don’t agree with the ACLU on everything, almost every year the ACLU has gone after city hall bureaucrats to get our permits.”
The landscape has changed, dissent is being suppressed in America and now the ACLU is refusing to back the LFDR, in part because of the rally’s Appleseed Project Instructional Shoot Feature--even though it meets all state ordinances.
This is not a good sign for the scores of Tea Parties planned for July 4th.
Politically correct and compromised by stimulus money, the bureaucrats of town and city halls decide whether Tea Parties and rallies can be held in their jurisdictions.
Coutu sees it as the death of the right to assemble in President Barack Obama’s USA.
Below in his own words is a message to patriots he is hoping the Internet will take viral this weekend:
“Dear Patriots,
“Although you may not know it, this is an historic day in history. Your rights under the First Amendment to free speech, redress and assembly in the U.S. is finally dead. It has joined the many annulments to your constitutional rights in recent years like warrant-less access to your private information, the enactment of the soon and upcoming police states, socialism, and the growing list of other achievements under the--and to the delight of--the New World Order elites.
“To my knowledge, I am one of the only people in the U.S. that has been organizing true first amendment assemblies over the past 20 years. Ninety-nine percent of the population, including activists really don’t know what that is. Well, the day I saw coming and dreaded has finally arrived. It is too lengthy to explain many years of legal study what a true first amendment assembly is. In brief it means, citizens assembling in an all-free, non-commercial fashion, peaceably to redress political issues on public or private property by free will. Unknown to many, all that was required was to notify the municipality in which it was to take place. If the municipality chose to impose police detail or costs, fees, bonding, and the many things they come up with, it could be challenged in court. There have been many rulings on this issue in the U.S. Supreme Court favoring the citizen. For the average U.S. citizen exercising this right for this process is grueling, which I have done many times successfully.
“At least it WAS possible in the past. However, unless a citizen had or has the financial or legal resources to fight the municipality, they are bound to the municipality’s ordinances and their many requirements and fees often thwarting the assembly. There are no avenues available in the U.S. other than to contact the busy ACLU for the average citizen’s protection for the enforcement of their rights. Often contacting attorneys , state or U.S. representatives, rights organizations, etc. falls on deaf ears as it did with this year’s national 4th annual NH Live Free or Die Rally. Our only hope was the ACLU intervening again this year when the local authorities ordered a commercial site plan review death knell subject to many approvals, fees, permission from abutters, etc. for this non-commercial rally.
“Many eyes nationwide have been on the outcome, and we have really bad news to tell. The liberal-based ACLU refuses to intervene this year. The requirements of the local municipality are insurmountable beyond even my means or knowledge. If we chose to hold the LFOD rally anyway, the authorities will arrest participants and revoke the license of the kind individuals who donated the 300-acre private property venue. I have spent 20 years of my life, thousands of volunteer hours with thousands of blue collar-dollars to keep these rallies alive to aid in the preservation of the First Amendment--apparently in vain.
“In the end my biggest adversaries have been the sheeple whose rights I’ve been fighting for and the deaf ears my warnings fell upon. In part, the purpose of this non-partisan annual rally was to unite the often feuding national organizations to come under one tent in unity, which was finally starting to happen with more than 40 endorsing organizations. With much respect to their many efforts, the only possibility of a true peaceful revolution and change at this point will be through unity, which will involve a tolerance many do not have. Many organizations refuse to participate unless it is all about them, their agenda or their strings attached.
But the real winners here are the NWO elite. I expect this day in history and the silencing of the American people and the certain removal of yet another and the most important right they have, to pass quietly by. The elite have conditioned the masses to not even know that they were silenced or that they were stripped of any means to do anything about it.
In closing, I sincerely wish the Tea Parties and the many other rallies I see planned for this summer well, if the elite allow you to assemble.
Enjoy it while you can because you’re next to get shut down.
APPEAL: K Troop: Expedition Saharan Saunter 2009
A group of Kiwis are off to Africa and are restoring their vehicles to cross the Saharan Dune Sea.
There are three 1942 Willys MB; two 1943 C8AX CMP Chevrolets; one 1941 Dodge Pickup truck.
Support them HERE
The Sunday Best......
'Bullets zipped by as I jumped. I hit the ground 6 seconds later and came under intense fire..' Actor Richard Todd revisits Pegasus Bridge.
Gibraltar ambush: Spain grabs miles of British waters to carry out 'environmental protection'. Better dust off HMS Victory.
Move to topple Gordon Brown if UKIP beat Labour in Euro poll. If they don't he will still be gone before the end of the summer.
Young clergy face life on the dole after Church of England loses £1.3billion. The Church is in a bloody mess.
Banned US shock jock Michael Savage sues Jacqui Smith for putting him on 'least-wanted list'. Take her down.
Plague of hairy caterpillars which cause rashes, headaches and breathing problems invades Britain. More 'illegal' immigrants.
I’m first in the pecking order round here, deer! Angry swan sees off young fawn. Great pics.
Sarko, By the Grace of God. Jumped up little s**t.
Taliban recruits teenage suicide bombers for revenge attacks. Time to send in the swine flu.
US defence secretary Robert Gates warns North Korea. We have been 'warning' North Korea for over half a century and a fat lot of good it has done.
Likely Hizbollah electoral victory in Lebanon raises prospect of new tensions with Israel. There will be a war.
MPs' expenses: At least Ann Winterton stood up for our troops in Iraq. About the only MP who did.
Gordon Brown wants Ed Balls as chancellor. His little 'chum'.
Spy-jet cuts put troops lives at risk. Axe the MoD not equipment.
Royals get 150 extra guards to end overstretch. Good they need it. Cabinet members don't.
Facebook Pakistanis unite against terror. Facebook has a use!!
Sarkozy hijacks Longest Day. Just remember that Sarkozy's father was Hungarian and they were on Germany's side in the war.
‘Top Gun’ takes on Taliban upside down. Pity it isn't on You Tube.
EXCLUSIVE: Career lawyers overruled on voting case. The Black Panthers have friends in high places.
Love-struck little man acting out... he is so ronery!!
the Clarkypoos bit.....
Letting beavers loose in Scotland is dam foolery.
Vauxhall VXR8 Bathurst S.
and little Jimmy May
Time to change your commute.
Patricia Anglican ...Run Patricia Run..Featuring Corrigan Brothers
'Patricia' will be running in a charity race tomorrow to raise funds for 'her' local school. Anyone interested in making a donation click HERE.
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All about the Benjamins.......
7 Facts About The $100 Bill...........
1. Independence Hall is on the back of the bill. The time on the clock shows 2:22, but the numeral four on the clock is shown as “IV”, while real Independence Hall’s clock has a numeral showing “IIII.”
2. Benjamin Franklin and the $10 bill’s Alexander Hamilton are the only people on U.S. bills who weren’t Presidents.
3. The $100 bill has been the largest bill in circulation since 1969, when the $500, $1000, $5000, $10,000 and $100,000 were retired.
4. In 1869, Abraham Lincoln appeared on the $100 bill. The next year, Thomas Hart Benton was on the front. He was a Missouri Senator who was real big into westward expansion. He also once had a “frontier brawl” with Andrew Jackson, where he injured Jackson. He also killed other people in duels. And he hated paper money.
5. In 1890, Admiral David Farragut was on the bill. He’s the guy who said, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!”
6. Benjamin Franklin first appeared on the bill in 1914. That song by Puff Daddy came out in 1996.
7. During their time on the Mets, Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry once threw a bunch of $100 bills out of their limo onto the street. Probably because they were coked out of their minds.
H/T DML
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