He goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work.
Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man.
The medicine man says, "I can cure this."
With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a Flash with billowing blue smoke.
Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year.All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"
The medicine man replies, "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned, the pork sword will not rise again for another year.."
The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves and smothers himself in aftershave.
He slides into bed, cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised.
His wife turns over and asks, "What did you say "123" for?!"
H/T Pete Hurrell
Thursday, 1 May 2008
A man, getting along in years, finds that he is unable to perform sexually.
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News...
Travellers build a £12,000 hall at illegal camp - with taxpayers' cash, and without planning permission. MOAB them. The ultimate site clearance.
How your computer keyboard is FIVE TIMES dirtier than your toilet seat - and could even give you 'qwerty tummy'. Just how many people will use this an excuse to get off work if we ever get a sunny day.
Global warming could stop NATURALLY for ten years,' say scientists. Shhh don't tell Gore.
150 bail hostels built in secret. Not so secret now. Another nail in Labour's coffin.
US sends second carrier to the Gulf. A couple more may come in handy!
Kenyans live in squalor as government spends millions on ministries. Another corrupt African Government.
Mugabe 'accepts that Morgan Tsvangirai won'. It doesn't mean he is going to go. Someone should start to monitor money movements from Zim to Switzerland et al. Mugabe and his cronies must have their accounts frozen.
Gordon Brown set to fight for his future after poll. What effing future.
Credit crunch to deliver £16bn squeeze on Chancellor's tax plans. Brown has bankrupted us and must be held to account.
Undecided Democratic elite remind Barack Obama that victory is not in the bag. The Clintons have too much on too many. They will bully, blackmail and buy off Hillary's opponents.
Getting to Know John McCain. Karl Rove on the next President.
But How Many Mahdi Army Fighters Were Killed?. Lots, but not enough.
PBS PREVIEWS: CARRIER......
....I will be posting as much of theis series as possible. This clip is 26 mins long so you may need refreshments!!
H/T Maggie's Farm
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Wednesday, 30 April 2008
Geronimo.....
A paratrooper leaps from the back of a Joint Task Force-Bravo CH-47 Chinook helicopter over the Tamara Drop Zone, the site of this year's Iguana Voladora 2008. The airborne exercise is Joint Task Force-Bravo's largest joint and combined training event developed to strengthen regional cooperation and security between countries of the Americas. Photo by Tech. Sgt. William Farrow
For Sale.....new house close to Clapham Common.
This is a 3 bed house under construction in a quiet street close to Clapham Common. It is on 3 levels and features an underground garage which elevates to street level (way cool). It is roomy, well lit and would make a perfect home for someone who is looking for a modern, clean and comfortable house in London. For more details e-mail me. 
9/11 Budweiser Tribute...
...It's a few years old but possibly one of the best ads of all time.
H/T Shelly
Blog post of the Day....
Dems Mock Bush-- Vow No New Drilling or Nuclear Plants!! Gateway Pundit on the Democrat powered fuel crisis.
News...
MPs: the 2012 London Olympics chiefs are 'spending money like water'. The Olympics are going to bankrupt us!
Sixth formers paid £5 to teach lessons because they do a 'better job' than supply staff. You couldn't make it up.
The English adventurer who settled on a tiny Pacific island 145 years ago ... and left everyone with Gloucestershire accent. Lucky he wasn't a Geordie!!
Planned prison pay rise abandoned. We pay the bastards!!!
Barclays Bank accused of aiding Robert Mugabe regime. Barclays are without a doubt the worst bank in Britain. The rest are not much better.
Martin McGuinness will lead Iraq peace mission. What does this terrorist scumbag know about peace?
Secret tax adds £200 to cost of running family cars. I feel a protest coming on.
South Africa shields Robert Mugabe at UN. Why are we wasting time at the UN?
Funny....
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men.... that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again.....
The engaged girlfriend said: "The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask. He said, "You are the woman of my life, I love you"...then we made love all night long."
The mistress stated: "Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night."
The married one then said: "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, fell in his mangy Lazyboy, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"
H/T Ted Foster
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Scientific breakthrough.....
'Viagra' is now available in powder form for your tea.
It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft!
H/T Casasquirrels
Tuesday, 29 April 2008
I am ashamed that we British do not give our servicemen the same respect..
People show their respect as the remains of Staff Sgt. Keith 'Matt' Maupin are moved to the Union Township Civic Center near Cincinatti, Ohio.
A lady swallowed a super Gillette razor blade and her doctor discovered that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a hysterectomy, but she had also castrated her husband, circumcised her lover, taken two fingers off a casual acquaintance, and given a vicar a hair lip.
And, there were still 5 shaves left!
H/T Pete Hurrell
Here we go....
Marines Launch Attack on Taliban. The British Army has done a fantastic job in Helmand considering the limitations foisted upon them by the Government, the MOD and the total lack of support from the European members of NATO who view Afghanistan as an Embassy Party.. Now that the USMC has arrived hopefully more can be done. Firepower and education will win this battle, not hearts and minds. The Afghan farmers need to be taught that wheat, barley and soya are right now the crops to be growing not opium. It is actually time for the Brits. US and Canadians who have done most of the work so far to hand Helmand over to the French and Germans for a month or so so they can get 'involved'. After all how much trouble can the get into!!!!
Crashing and Burning.....
..the Democrat Race would make a great soap opera. Ooops forgot! It already is!!!
H/T Mark Scott
Center for Disease Control Medical Alert!!!!!!!!
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store or bar and purchase one or both of the antidotes:
#1- Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE)
#2-Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
Do not take potshots at the 173rd Airborne!!!
'Sometimes people like to shoot @ us from houses. These guys took it to the next step, and decided to sandbag their windows, so as to provide more (though very obvious) protection. After dealing with this menace for about a month, we decided it was high time for action.'
News.....and 2500th post this year.
Marine gets wish to return to Iraq. Another hero.
British Muslim 'bullied' for converting to Christianity. Islam is like the Moonies, you cannot escape!!!!
Al Kibar show how bad proliferation has become. Westhawk on the threat of spreading nukes.
Back Boris. Bury Ken. Bash Gordon. Livingstone must be destroyed. Expect vote rigging in parts of East London.
Father confronted by axe-wielding burglars - but police are too busy to turn up for THREE hours. Pity he didn't own a .45!!! Ooops I forgot they are banned except for criminals.
Jailed for life: Binge-drinking teens who kicked gap year student to death because she was dressed as a Goth. 18 years is not life. Hang them.
WPC kicked unconscious by 30-strong drunken teenage gang for asking them not to throw popcorn on a tram. Welcome to Britain. I need a minigun!!!
Barack Obama's pastor Jeremiah Wright resurfaces to reignite race row. Is he on Hillary's payroll? I wouldn't be surprised.
Nato's Afghan mission in trouble, says Brown. NATO is becoming as bigger joke as the UN. If you want something done call the Anglosphere.
Iran warns of ‘dangerous’ Barbie dolls. Just wait for 'Jihad Barbie'!!!
UN 'covered up Congo peacekeeper corruption'. Of course it did. We should quit the bloody thing.
US Marines to ‘stir things up’ in Helmand. This should liven things up.
Zimbabwe health minister accused as terror campaign reaches hospital wards. Mugabe and his cronies are not going quietly.
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