Friday, 27 February 2009
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Light News.....
Psychedelic fish 'is new species'. It bounces.
The future of the fighting forces. Our troops need kit today.
Moment the queue jump killer struck: CCTV images show how innocent Sainsbury's shopper lost his life. Hang them both.
End of the buffet car? Rail company plans to scrap on-board catering due to credit crunch. I take it they have shares in the station catering outlets.
Norfolk Pensioner spends 30 years building amazing model of Herod's Temple ... but admits he won't be around to finish it. Seriously wow.
Zimbabwe seeks £1.4bn from neighbours. Not while Mugabe lives.
All the bars are deserted... and I'm in Ireland, for goodness sake. An economy in serious trouble.
Our public debt is hitting Armageddon levels. There is going to be total socio-economic meltdown.
It’s Obama spreading panic. Of course it is. Nothing like a spot of panic to distract people from the hidden agandas.
Mule skinners need background checks, too. Damn dangerous things, mule skinners.
Jewish Leaders Blast Clinton Over Israel Criticism. She cannot be trusted.
DUMISANI......
DUMISANI : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
DUMISANI : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
DUMISANI : I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
DUMISANI: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
H/T M Kohl
Choosing a wife.....
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a20joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest Boob's.
Some things never change.
H/T Shelly
Oddity of the Day.....
Swiss Trains Live. It's actually rather good. They should try this for London.
H/T Old Dude
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Ode to an Old Friend.....
My nookie days are over;
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal;
Is now my water spout.
Time was when of its own accord;
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I have a full time job;
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing;
The way it would behave.
For every single morning;
It would stand and watch me shave.
As old age approaches;
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its withered head;
And watch me tie my shoes.
H/T DML
Thursday, 26 February 2009
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Late news....
US to deploy Patriot missiles to Poland. That should piss off Putin.
Japan's boffins: Global warming isn't man-made. No s**t.
Misstating the Constitution. Or another way to rig congress.
Council staff breach national ID system. Illegal snooping.
EU students not repaying UK loans. Why is this not a surprise.
STUDY: COST SAVINGS FROM REPEAL OF DEATH PENALTY MAY BE ELUSIVE. At least the US has a death penalty.
Hollywood Hypocrisy......An “open” letter to Sean Penn
An open letter from a California Resident....
'Sean Penn received an Oscar at the 2009 Academy Awards for his role as Harvey Milk, the gay San Francisco City official who was slain. As is normal for Sean Penn, he couldn’t get in front of a microphone without making a political statement. This time he rejoiced in the election of President Barack Obama, and then vilified those who helped pass California Proposition 8, the state constitutional ban on gay marriage. These two statements infer the hypocrisy of Mr. Penn and the Prop 8 opposition movement. While California voted overwhelmingly for Barack Obama, it was the African-American vote that helped Prop 8 pass.
And as usual, his statement was delivered with that absolutely mean-spirited scowl that seems to be permanently on the face of someone who just doesn’t seem to like it when he doesn’t get all the things he wants in life. Have you ever seen Sean Penn smile and laugh and really look like he is enjoying life, let alone his success? Why is he so angry?
But Penn’s Oscar statement was directed- as always- specifically at Republicans, who are presumably in his mind white, male, Christian, and from Orange County. Why doesn’t Mr. Penn take on those that voted with him for President Obama, but voted for Prop 8- the African American community? Two reasons- one, he is so anti-Republican he cannot possibly conceive that any Democrat would support a measure he was so adamantly opposed to. Go ahead Sean, ignore the elephant in the room- your fellow Democrats who voted for Prop 8. The bankers on Wall Street ignored their elephant. The folks at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac did. You are no different than they are.
The second reason is while Sean talks tough to Republicans; he doesn’t have the nerve to do so with African Americans. Why is that? Maybe it’s because his industry is so lacking when it comes to diversity. Look at the Oscar’s audience- a vast majority of whom supported the election of the first African American President- a truly historical precedent, not only for the United States, but for the world. Yet, what has the entertainment industry done to lead by example when it comes to diversity in the workplace? How many people of color were in the audience? The folks in Hollywood will point out that “Slumdog Millionaire” – winner of eight Academy Awards- was a movie about people of color with a cast predominantly made up of people of color.
But this actually points out the hypocrisy of Hollywood. Nobody in Hollywood pushed “Slumdog Millionaire”. It made it despite being ignored by Hollywood. No big name actors in the movie. No big name producers or directors. No special effects. Why was the movie so successful? Because it won the Oscar the old-fashioned way- it had a compelling storyline that was delivered by a team of “nobodies” that everybody watching it identified with and connected to. People didn’t identify with the color of the actors- they identified with the storyline. The movie, in that sense, was truly color-blind. Oh- and it did something else that seems to be a novelty for Hollywood- it made money.
And suppose Slumdog Millionaire had not been produced? How many people of color would have been in the Oscar’s audience? Furthermore, how many people of color are working behind the scenes in Hollywood? How many women, for that matter? Title IX was passed in 1973, but while Title IX addressed the gender inequity in college sports, it seems that 36 years later- a full two generations- Hollywood has not held itself to the same standards. Hollywood is so bent on Prop 8, that it has entirely ignored Title IX passed in 1973 and the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
It turns out, Sean, you and the entertainment industry are precisely what you despise.'
H/T Bob C
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Video: OFASTS Gun Apocalypse
H/T HJB
Obama to Seek New Assault Weapons Ban. He can dream.
H/T Nebraska Bob
Twittering 'Totty'......
44 Porn Stars Who Twitter. Brought to you by the guys at COED Magazine. SFWish
Book Launch...
There's a new sex-Ed book about to be released that's bound to be a best seller. It's called. 'Sex in the desert,' by Mustapha Kamell.
H/T Maurice B
News.....
Conmen who prey on the elderly to escape jail. Another out of touch moron of a judge. What about conmen who prey on the taxpayers aka bankers?
Royal Navy veterans moved to rehouse travellers. An effing disgrace. Travellers have not rights.
Soldier dumped by girlfriend after streaking as Cupid at football match. No-one has a sense of humour anymore.
Israel's choice. Will Obama aid Israel or Hamas.
Clint Eastwood goes gunning for PC killjoys by saying we should laugh at race-based jokes. Makes a change from the drivel we get from Penn etc.
RBS posts record £24bn loss as disgraced boss Sir Fred Goodwin pockets £650,000 pension - aged just 50. I think all hell is going to break loose over this.
Civil servants ready to pay £2,000 each (of your cash) to hear Islamic extremist preach. Sack every single one of them.
Internet firms set to track and cash in on surfing habits of 11million customers. Snoopers.
Worcester to become first city in Britain to be twinned... with Gaza. WTF!
Paramedic refused to take man with broken back to hospital 'because he was on his break'. Why have a hearing. He should have been sacked immeadiately.
Save our Wogan! Wogan is a national treasure and must never be allowed to retire. For those readers who are unfamiliar with his show. You can find it here HERE. I can recommend using the listen again feature.
House prices 'fall another 1.8%'. And they will continue to fall. The banks and their pet estate agents have forced house prices way aboue where they should be.
Binyam Mohamed, the British resident released from Guantanamo Bay, tells friends UK is 'too cold'. So send him to hell.
Warning over UK defence equipment. The MoD must be held to account and heads must roll. The military would be a lot better off without a ministry screwing things up.
Zimbabwe: British minister's bank propped up Robert Mugabe, says Foreign Office. Shut them down.
Pakistan faces new political crisis as Nawaz Sharif banned from office. Pakistan is a shambles.
40,000 jobs threatened as recession hits town halls. The public sector is overstaffed anyway.
Robert Mugabe's cohorts begin the final land grab in Zimbabwe. Send in troops.
Bangladesh mutiny spreads beyond the capital. Another country in trouble.
Survivors of Hudson River air crash consider suing airline. Ungrateful scum. They and their lawyers should be named, shamed and chucked back into the Hudson.
US thinks the unthinkable: asking Iran for help with supply routes. Nothing good will come of it. Go after the taleban a lot harder.
Mugabe splashes out on birthday bash as cholera spirals out of control. And no-one gives a s**t.
and finally.
Poll of Muslim World Gives Few Reasons for Hope over at Jawa.
Soldier questions Obama's authority over at UCV.
ECO 2009 in terms even I can understand
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar.
Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing limit.
He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.
However they cannot pay back the debts.
Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.
DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.
The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.
H/T Paul B
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