Thursday, 16 April 2009
Light News.....
BBC rebukes its Middle East correspondent Jeremy Bowen for anti-Israel comments. Sack him.
British bomber 'fighting for the Taliban against British soldiers'. Hunt him down and kill him.
President of the World. VDH on the impending disaster of Obambi's foreign policy
Appalling Cruelty: Man Jailed For Hanging Dog. Hang him.
The Anti-Success Presidency.. Obama is anti everything that made America great.
Civil servants exaggerated threat to national security in Damian Green affair. More dodgy dealings from Number 10.
Skoda voted number one car in UK. WTF!!
French navy intercepts Somali pirate 'mother ship'. Nice one.
Afghan women dare to challenge sex slavery law. Good for them.
Land grab spreads to South Africa as mob seizes farm. As predicted.
and finally.....
Paraguayan bishop-turned-prez admits paternity. Our politicians are never this much fun.
Doctors Notes....
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused an autopsy.
9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
17. The skin was moist and dry.
18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (ouch!)
21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
H/T DML
Child Benefit....
A scouser goes to the council to register for child benefit.
“How many children?” asks the council worker.
“10″ replies the woman.
“10?” says the council worker. “What are their names?”
“Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne” she answers.
“What? They’ve all got the same name?” says the council worker,
“Doesn’t that get confusing?”
“Don’t be soft,” says the scouse woman, “It’s great - if they’re out playing in the street I just have to yell ‘WAAAAAYNE, YER DINNERS READY’ or ‘WAAAAAAYNE GO TO BED NOW YER SOFT LAD!’ and they all do it.”
“But what if you want to speak to one individually?” asks the perturbed council worker.
“That’s easy,” says the Scouse woman “I just use their surnames.”
H/T DML
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Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Green Party Branded "Extremists"
The Green Party in Britain have been branded "extremists" by a spokesman for the anti-EU, United Kingdom Independence Party. Read the story here.
Finally a use for Obama......
I took these two photos this morning in a restaurant in Singapore....
Hope you like them! from Filippo..jpg)
Thought for the Day....
Does anyone else besides me see the irony of Ted Kennedy giving the Obamas a Water Retriever as a family pet?
H/T Stormbringer
Tax Day - TEA Day.....from Rico
April 15th. Tax Day. Time to pay tribute to the potentates on the Potomac. Pay up, and shut up...unless you're part of Team Obama. Like they say "the trick is not to think of it as your money." They have decided that your money is theirs, and that they know better than you do how to spend it.
So, as these clueless morons tax us into servitude and make a "progressive" tax regime ever more confiscatory, some are sharpening their spears in their huts (only politicians are alowed castles under Communism).
Higher taxes ARE on the way. THIS is part of the NEW DIRECTION for America.
- Remember the 2006 elections?
- Remember what happened in the 2008 election?
Hey!! Wake up!! It's not like we weren't warned then. The message being sent to us is very clear and unambiguous!
Well....I'm off to a "radical" TEA DAY protest. It will doubtless be a large, but peaceful and disciplined protest.
- It will be a very different affair from the the kind of 'protest' conducted by the Marxist, Che Guevara-idolizing, Communist-chic "radicals" now so warmly embraced by Team Obama...there will be no riots, riot cops, broken windows, vandalized properties, burned-out cars, innocent bystanders beaten, etc, etc. I guess it will be 'too boring' for the MSM to bother covering the events this day (unless Obama's goons from ACORN can get them some good footage).
A Pirate Ditty....
** Seal of Disapproval **
Four pirates threaten on the sea.
A Seal's bullet; now there are three.
Three pirates yet; a motley crew.
Hot lead leaves Seal; now there are two.
Perhaps the end is evident.
Pirates to hell will be Seal-sent.
H/T David G
Wow: Susan Boyle Stuns Crowd with Epic Singing
I love it when someone puts Simon Cowell in his place.
Susan Boyle Stuns Crowd with Epic Singing - Watch more Funny Videos
H/T Shelly
Light News...
Gordon Brown presiding over a 'cesspit' at Downing Street, claims Nadine Dorries. Sums up the Labour Party in general.
Businessman burgled after being banned from using giant catapult. And where were Plod?
EU tells farmers to tag every sheep in Britain. F**k Ewe EU.
The 22 Royal Marines who took on Argentine Falklands invasion force. Never mess with the Marines.
Shut-down of RAF squadrons 'to go ahead a year early'. Brown is destroying our military.
Laptop with names of SAS men is missing. Ever heard of security?
Overworked RAF faces manpower 'crisis'. This is a disgrace.
and finally...
Newt Gingrich angling for Presidential run...
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DON'T TREAD ON ME......from Rico
I will confess to having watched in awe (not surprise, however) as Obama has 'transformed' the highest office in the land. I guess that does make him what the MSM sycophants called a "transformational" figure.
Barack Hussein Obama first transformed himself into POTUS (pResident of the US) to MOTUS (Metrosexual of the US) to COTUS (Commissar of the US) to AOTUS (Asshole of the US)!
Do I sound harsh? Words do not exist in the English language to express my feelings about his latest accomplishment! Listen to this:
- The DHS under "Team Obama" has decided that military veterans...especially combat veterans (because they have certain "skills")...are now a threat! A radical threat!
THIS SICK-AND-TWISTED VIEW SAYS ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT OUR COMMUNIST-IN-CHIEF'S REGIME AND HIS FELLOW TRAVELERS!
I AM A COMBAT VETERAN, SEVERAL TIMES OVER. MANY OF MY FRIENDS ARE TOO (LIVING AND DEAD). LIKE MOST AMERICANS, MY FAMILY HAS A LONG TRADITION OF SELFLESS SERVICE UNDER ARMS IN DEFENSE OF THIS NATION AND ITS LIBERTY. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW OFFENSIVE THIS IS TO MY HERITAGE, MY FAMILY, AND TO ME.
All of us veterans swore an oath to "protect, honor, and defend the US Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic." There was no expiry date or "escape clause" on that oath, and I consider it to be still binding, as all of us who have ever sworn it do.
So, WHO is the real enemy of FREEDOM today?
- The veterans, NOW no longer honored heros have been singled-out by ObaMarx's DHS (Department of Homeland Security...yeah, the ones who 'own' the TSA screeners - morons all - at our airports, the ones aptly named Thousands Standing Around=TSA) as a radical threat. DEDICATION TO LIBERTY, FREEDOM, AND DEMOCRACY A RADICAL THREAT? (To whom?)
-Bill Ayers, Bernadette DoRn, and any other murderous radical Communist terrorist are now heros? RADICAL DEDICATION TO MARX-ENGELS-HEGEL AND SAUL ALINSKY A VIRTUE?
THIS IS ORWELLIAN. GROTESQUE. STALINESQUE. Outlawing the love of liberty and becoming oppressive in size, intrusion into the lives of citizens, and interfering with the free pursuit of life this administration and government has in effect (as Dick Morris recently opined) repealed the Constitution of the US.
It is time to party like it's 1775!!!
DON'T TREAD ON ME!!!
THROW THE BUMS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
PEOPLE ASK WHY?
Why I Carry a Gun
My old grandpa said to me son,' there comes a time in every man's life when he stops bustin' knuckles and starts bustin' caps and usually it's when he becomes too old to take an ass whoopin'.
I don't carry a gun to kill people.
I carry a gun to keep from being killed.
I don't carry a gun to scare people.
I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.
I don't carry a gun because I'm paranoid.
I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.
I don't carry a gun because I'm evil.
I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.
I don't carry a gun because I hate the government.
I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.
I don't carry a gun because I'm angry.
I carry a gun so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.
I don't carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.
I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.
I don't carry a gun because I'm a cowboy.
I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a cowboy.
I don't carry a gun to make me feel like a man.
I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.
I don't carry a gun because I feel inadequate.
I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate.
I don't carry a gun because I love it.
I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.
Police Protection is an oxymoron. Free citizens must protect themselves.
Police do not protect you from crime, they usually just investigate the crime after it happens and then call someone in to clean up the mess.
Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take an ass whoopin'.
.author unknown (but obviously brilliant)
H/T 45 Govt
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Tuesday, 14 April 2009
From students' report cards.....
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
H/T DML
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