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Thursday, 28 May 2009
Movie Review: 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'
Short Review: Apt title, if you redefine "Curious" to mean "Pointless".
Full Review HERE
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Light News....
D-Day snub to Queen: Palace fury as Sarkozy refuses to invite royals to 65th Anniversary. He can go f**k himself. I wouldn't be surprised if Obama has something to do with this.
Nicolas Sarkozy's Napoleonic ambitions expand to the Middle East. What is it about shortass frogs and causing trouble.
Ooh la la! Bidding frenzy expected for nude photo of France's First Lady Carla Bruni. Why? It's all over the net.
North Korea abandons truce and threatens to attack the South. You can forget the UN on this one.
UN to deter refugees in Calais from heading to Britain. So we can expect numbers to treble.
Police quango spends £70m on consultants... but frontline officer numbers are being cut. Make them pay it back. There are too many consultants on the government payroll.
Professor Steven Chu: paint the world white to fight global warming. Twaddle.
Gordon Brown and David Cameron in scramble to clean up Parliament. Too late.
Great Quotes by Great Ladies.........
Inside every older person is a younger person — wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin
A male gynaecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky
My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck
Old age ain’t no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis
A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.
-Rhonda Hansome
The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
-Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometime! s several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb
… and I’m also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton
I’m not going to vacuum ’till Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man-if you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem
I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
H/T DML
Funny: Ellen DeGeneres Commencement Speech at Tulane University
H/T Shelly who writes 'Not my favorite person, but her speech is entertaining; suitable for Tulane.'
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Tuesday, 26 May 2009
The Ten Commandments...Southern style!
Some people have trouble with all those 'shalls' and 'shall nots' in the Ten commandments. Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So, in the South they translated the 'King James'... no joke, (posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainsesboro, TN)
(1) Just one God
(2) Put nothin' before God.
(3) Watch yer mouth.
(4) Git yourself to Sabbath meetin'.
(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(6) No killin'
(7) No foolin' around with another fella's gal
(8) Don't take what ain't yers.
(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
H/T Shelly
Movie Review: 'JCVD'
Short Review: Its basically an European art film version of one of those VH1 celebrity reality shows.
Full Review HERE
Cool Gizmo Thingy of the Day......
Tone Matrix
Click on a square to create a note and then another etc, to create your own tunes.
H/T Paul N
Very Light News....
Rise of the thugettes: Quarter of ALL violent assaults in Britain are now carried out by women. Bring back the stocks.
State recruits an army of snoopers with police-style powers. The Stasi were never this bad.
Pig farmers told to wear earmuffs to blot out 'dangerous' squeals at meals. Oh for f**ks sake.
He's the crazed tyrant with the nuclear button - and he's ready to unleash armageddon on his OWN people. No not Gordon Brown but the Korea cretin.
UN paralysed over North Korea sanctions. No surprises there.
Revised School prayer:
This has been around for a bit, but it is good.
'Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene..
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all..
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quo te the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong..
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles..
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen '
H/T Bob Teter
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The MPs Expenses Song.....
....a repost 'cos the lads asked nicely and they have e-mailed it to every MP.
Monday, 25 May 2009
NORKORCOM NUCLEAR TEST..............by Stormbringer
The question has been posed - "Is there a military option?"
There is always a military option. The question is not "Is there a military option?" Rather, the question is "Can we afford the price?"
Unfortunately, the primo window of opportunity to have launched an attack would have been BEFORE 9/11.
The fact remains we could still launch an attack on North Korea, although our resources are stretched mighty thin. Options include anything from commando raids - which are difficult to plan & coordinate - to air strikes, to full scale conventional military invasion - up to and including missile attacks.
Planning considerations must include the fact that the North Korean military is a fanatic organization that makes the Waffen SS look like Boy Scouts. They will fight to the bloody end. To complicate matters, the entire country........continue reading
WE ASK ONLY.............
We stood quietly on the tarmac
As his plane rolled to a stop
With tear filled eyes we waited
For the tail to begin to drop
Six young men in uniform
Stood by his flag draped box
My insides began to tighten
As if filled with rocks
Like poetry set in motion
Was every move they made
Together they lifted Tommy
I bowed my head and prayed
The slow walk they began
Then gently loaded him into the hearse
With clinched fists I stood there
How I felt the need to curse
A young soldier with extended hand
Then led me to the side
He said, Sir I was there with him
That night that Tommy died
Sir, I feel you should have this
He was writing it that night
Slid a blood stained paper into my hand
And walked on out of sight
With shaking hands I unfolded it
His words I began to read
My tears falling like raindrops
With each word I did heed
Dear Lord, he said, I write these words
Knowing they could be my very last
The shells are getting closer
With each and every blast
Still I feel the need I must write
While kneeling in this sand
We’ve come here for a mission
One to protect this very land
Lord, I know back home are many
Who say this war just shouldn’t be
For that I ask you to forgive them
Please Lord, hear me as I plea
You see Sir I’m just a soldier
I must answer when they call
Like so many men and women before me
Our job is never small
Sir, as soldiers we don’t start war
Our job is to defend
We fight each day for Freedom
And will Sir… till the end
It’s because of the many like us
Who have travelled along this way
That those that shout the loudest
Have rights to what they say
Lord, as with all conflicts past
This one seems to be the same
There are those who just don’t understand
This fight is not a game
Many brave men and women give up life
In this fight to keep man free
I ask Dear Lord, you stay here with us
Dear Lord, please hear my plea
And Lord, I ask one last favor
Then I’ll put away my pen
We ask only, our Country love us… as we love her
In Jesus’ name… Amen!!!
Woody Woodruff
June 29 2008
H/T DML
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