Saturday, 1 March 2008


My fellow Identity-Americans.

As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for their... well, support.
Your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.

I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.

I would also like to thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr. and Teddy (currently the Senate drunk) caused the death of a young staff member by drowning. And I'm not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively.

And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.

Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt.

I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them.

Americans are tired of thinking.

It's time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart.

So when you go to vote, remember don't think, just do.

And do it for me.

Thank You.

H/Ts Shelly and Jackie Gedling


Anonymous said...

Fucking awesome!

Anonymous said...

I still think he's better than the current cunthole currently in charge :)

Joan of Argghh! said...

Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt.

Yep. He's the Golden Child. Untouchable.

Not like Teflon Bill. All sorts of things were thrown at him, but nothing really sticks.

Denny sent me over here. Damn. Now I got one more blog on my reader!!

Nice digs, dude.

Anonymous said...

So now we know. B Hussein Obama released the photo's to gain more sympathy. I fully expect that if he loses he'll go home, kill his big mouth wife and children, then jump off a one story dog house in a phony attempt, more sympathy, to commit suicide and he won't be prosecuted in Il. Too insane.