Friday 23 May 2008

News.....

Tories win Crewe by a landslide leaving Brown in desperate fight for survival. Bury the Bastard.

Yes, this is a REAL crisis, admits minister as latest oil price surge piles £700 onto the average family's fuel bill. Things are going to crash big time.

England will need TWO new London-sized cities to cope with new immigrants by 2056. Not if we stop letting them in. Just how hard is it to secure an island?

Nuclear submarine in £5m crash - because trainees were plotting course on tracing paper. Ooops!

Ja, Minister! Government blows £120million on new computer system which spouts German. Another Government IT system that doesn't work. They should not be allowed modern technology, it only confuses them.

Zimbabwe: Back Robert Mugabe or face war, army tells white farmers. Time to introduce them to the British Army!

Israeli fighter jets confront Tony Blair's plane. Should have shot the f**ker down.

Afghan cricketers set hearts on beating world. There is hope for Afghanistan yet. Cricket is a very civilised game.

'Recent convert to Islam' is arrested after bomb explosion in restaurant. 'Convert' him to a corpse.

Voters just don't trust Hillary. Wait 'til they 'meet' Obama.

10,000 Iraqi troops bring calm to Sadr City. What for? Tea and biscuits or to kick Sadr's Ass.

Protecting polar bears gets in way of drilling for oil, says governor. Expect an eco-loony hissy fit for this.

220 000 condoms off to Myanmar. The UN operating at it's usual 'high standards'.

If We Could Talk to the Animals. Little Annie Coulter on heads in the sand.

No comments: