Theo Spark

Sunday, 15 June 2008

An Affair With a Cause

An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha ... soon we will have been married for 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you on three occasions during these 50 years, but always for a good reason."

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by good reasons?"

Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house, because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home. But, what about the second time?"

Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night, and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."

"I recall that," said Henry "and, you did it to save my life. So, of course, I can forgive you for that. Now, tell me about the third occasion."

"Alright," Martha said, "do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club and you needed 73 more votes?"

H/T Joker

Saturday, 14 June 2008

B/W Bedtime Totty....

A smile at sunset....

H/T HJ Briscoe

H/T Mark Scott

HANCOCK - Will Smith, Extended Trailer. It has got to be better than 'I am Legend'.

Link of the Day......

1930s-40s in Color. A great collection of pics from the Library of Congress. It is where I found the pics of the M3s the other day. These are of Linclon, Nebraska.

Do not break an energy saving light bulb.....

H/T Shelly

Nice view...

Article of the Day....

Global Warming and the Price of a Gallon of Gas. Shhhh don't the the Goreleiter.

H/T MJW.

H/T Peter Gunn

A little Aussie humour...

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand , walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Doin' all right.'

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a liar.'

H/T AJD Shootist