Theo Spark

H/T Mark Scott

A letter to the folks back home on the farm.....

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls -eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice

H/T Shelly

Timewatch: "The Spies that Fooled Hitler" part 5

The 'Sports' Section....

Boxing with Wii Fit - Playboy Cyber Girl Jo Garcia

On the 09.51 Weymouth to Waterloo service a droll public service announcement:

"Thank you for travelling with SouthWest Trains. Please make sure you take all your belongings when leaving the train. This is particularly important if you work for Her Majesty's Government."

H/T Joker

The Weekend Wallpaper....

Click to enlarge.

'British Airways'....

A mother, with three daughters about to be wed, told each one of them to write back about their marriage. But to avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing intimate details, the mother and daughters agreed to use newspaper advertisements as a "code" to let the mother know how their love lives are going.

The first one got married, and on the second day sent a letter saying only, "MAXWELL HOUSE COFFEE." So the mother got out the newspaper and checked the Maxwell Coffee House advertisement which read: "SATISFACTION TO THE LAST DROP..." And she was happy for her daughter.

Then the second daughter was wed. After a week, the mother received the message, "BENSON & HEDGES." Again, checking her paper, she saw the store ad with the huge headline banner: "FULL SIZE, KING SIZE" And she knew her daughter was happy.

Last, the third daughter was married. The mother became anxious as time went by with no letter. Finally, after four weeks, she received a message merely stating, "BRITISH AIRWAYS." Eagerly looking at the ad, the mother fainted when she read: "THREE TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BOTH WAYS".

H/T AJD Shootist