Wednesday, 25 June 2008
ALZHEIMER'S OR PARKINSONS ?
Which one would you rather have?
PARKINSONS of course!
Better to spill half your drink than forget where the f**k you put it!
H/T Shelly
Who's Yo Daddy?
The following are all replies that women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'father's details;' or putting it another way..... Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms.
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Chesney was fathered by John Rogers. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Kylie, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 120 Ashcroft Avenue where I had sex with man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.
8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is PBS did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 89 Miller Avenue, my eggs might have remained unfertilized.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
H/T Shelly
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
No Frills Airlines.....don't show this to Ryanair.
See the original Carol Burnett Show version HERE
H/T Joker
