Theo Spark

Friday, 19 September 2008

Bedtime Teaser....

Bank of Zimbabwe interested in purchasing Morgan Stanley

In a surprise move late last night, the governor of the Bank of Zimbabwe confirmed their interest in purchasing beleaguered bank, Morgan Stanley.
In confirming their bid, Mr Milton Ncoffee said that there were many synergies between the two institutions, not least the common investment strategies and business practices adopted by both over recent years. When questioned if the Bank of Zimbabwe had sufficient funds, Mr Ncoffee said that he was sure they had enough money and if not, they could always print some more.
A spokesman for Morgan Stanley said that they were cautiously optimistic that they could agree a deal.

H/T DML

H/T Andi B

Geldof launches 'Bank Aid' as markets plummet:

Sir Bob Geldof today launched a moving appeal to Third World nations to ‘give whatever you can’ in the face of the ever worsening crisis in the western financial markets. The credit crunch, which has now come to dwarf the AIDS pandemic sweeping Africa, has, said Sir Bob, seen ‘suffering on an unprecedented scale’.
Addressing an audience of peasant subsistence farmers in Ethiopia, he urged Africans to ‘Give us your money. Pick up the phone and give us your fucking money now. These people are losing their bonuses, their stock, their options… People are literally losing their liquidity right now and you have the power to stop it..’
The appeal follows a harrowing television report by Michael Buerk from a Wall Street wine bar, where thousands of economic refugees have ended up. They can’t drink the water, and so are forced to drink the Pinot Grigio, despite the long term risks to their health. Many of their wives are painfully thin – this morning this woman walked forty miles on a Treadmaster, but has only eaten one lettuce leaf in three days.’

Meanwhile the people of Eritrea sent a television message to Washington, expressing their sympathy at the horrendous financial losses, and promising to return in its entirety all aid money received over the last twenty years. “It’s impossible for us to imagine what it must be like to lose that much money” said one man, ‘Literally, impossible.’

H/T DML

Knock Knock.....

H/T Mark Scott

On Patrol With 2-Para in Afghanistan....

News...

Darling accused of trying to save Scottish banking jobs at the expense of English workers. Why am I not surprised.

Thousands of five-year-olds can't write their own name after a year at school... despite £12bn spent on nursery education. Until we start producing good teachers we are screwed. The NUT has a lot to answer for.

Half of maths teachers inadequate. Only half!!

Britain to boost Afghanistan force, US Defence Secretary says. I wonder if the Europeans will also increase their troop levels.

Glamorous Russian swimsuit model wins Women's World Chess Championship.

Russia ratchets up US tensions with arms sales to Iran and Venezuela. More meddling from the Russians.

Anger at Europe's far right 'anti-Islam' conference. You mean some liberals have got their knickers in a twist.

Book of the Day...

'Puts you right in the cockpit with your finger on the trigger. A truly awesome read; and a climax that Hollywood couldn't invent...' Andy McNab

More details here