H/T Shelly
Friday, 24 October 2008
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LITTLE RALPHIE ON MATH
Little RALPHIE is in school, and the teacher says, 'RALPHIE, there are six birds sitting on a telephone wire, and a hunter shoots one of them with his shotgun. How many birds are left?'
Little RALPHIE replies, ‘NONE – the rest of the birds flew away!’
Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘The correct answer is five, Little RALPHIE, but I like the way you think.’
‘OK, Teacher,’ says Little RALPHIE, ‘Now I have a question for you: there are three women sitting eating ice cream cones. The first one is just taking little licks, the second one is carefully licking up and down and all about the sides of her ice cream cone, and the third one opens her mouth wide and takes the entire ice cream cone into her mouth. Which one of these women is married?’
‘Oooh! . . . er . . . uh . . . um . . .’ Miss Rogers replies nervously, ‘Why, I suppose it’s the one who opens her mouth and takes the entire ice cream cone in her mouth . . .’
‘Wrong, Teacher!’ Little RALPHIE replies, ‘It’s the woman wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think!’
H/Ts 45Govt & Stormbringer
Thursday, 23 October 2008
LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR
Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'
The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'
Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'
H/T 45 Govt
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News...
Police undercount violent crimes. More Government Dishonesty.
ANC calls for rethink on land redistribution. It worked so well in Zimbabwe!!!
Al Fayed sex-claim teenager 'was warned not to tell anyone'. If true Fayed will finally get his comeuppance.
'A blatant tax on motorists': Swindon becomes the first town to ditch speed cameras. Hopefully other councils will follow this example.
'Universities are dumbing down': 77% of professors claim pressure to award higher marks has increased. Most degrees have become worthless. We need fewer places and better quality.
Unruly pupils will be sent to Army cadet boot camps instead of being expelled. About time too. There again if we restored discipline in the schools it would be a start.
Iran 'would prefer' Barack Obama presidency. As would Al Queda, Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela and Sudan. The worlds crackpots will have a field day.
Zimbabwe: Corruption fears over £300m UN aid. Mugabe and his cronies will pocket most of it.
Armed Forces Minister denies 'systemic failure' in MoD. People in the MoD must be held to account for their continuing failings.
Britain's Bloodhound car could reach 1,000mph. Wow. 
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