H/T DML
Thursday, 4 December 2008
The Twelve Days of Turkey
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
I've bought a nice fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard
as we tucked into our turkey, a most delicious bird
On the third day of Christmas, came people from next door
the turkey tasted just as good as it had the day before
On the fourth day of Christmas came relations young and old
we finished up the Christmas pud and had the turkey cold
On the fifth day of Christmas outside the snowflakes scurried,
but we were nice and warm inside, we had the turkey curried.
On the sixth day of Christmas the Christmas spirit died,
the children fought and bickered as we had the turkey fried.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love he did wince
when he sat down at the table to have the turkey minced
On the eighth day of Christmas the dog he ran for shelter,
he'd seen our turkey pancakes and the glass of Alka Seltzer
On the ninth day of Christmas by lunchtime Dad was blotto
he knew that bird was back again, but this time a risotto.
On the tenth day of Christmas we were drinking home made brew
as if that wasn't bad enough, we were eating turkey stew
On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting
with chilli, soy and oyster sauce the turkey was revolting
On the twelth day of Christmas with a smile upon our lips
the guests had gone, the turkey too – we dined on fish and chips!
H/T DML
News...
Mumbai and Buddy Teams. More analysis on the Mumbai attack.
The Life-and-Death Cost of Gun Control. By John R. Lott, Jr.
Queen's Speech: Firms free to favour female and black job applicants. Whatever happened to the best man for the job. There again look at bunch of fools running the country.
BBC in new decency row after Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles suggests Poles makes good prostitutes. The BBC are so arrogant they will never learn.
Street cleaner faces a £10,000 jigsaw after discovering a bag of cut-up cash. Having seen the Christmas TV schedules he will be glad to have something to keep him occupied during the holiday season.
Gordon Brown says Britain's mission in Afghanistan is under review. That should help morale no end. How are our troops supposed to function at their best knowing that the Government hasn't a clue what it is doing.
The French Foreign Legion - the last option for those desperate to escape the UK. New name, new start. Not a bad idea. For those tough enough to survive the training.
Wakeboarding in flooded Venice. Cool.
Belgium 'placed on democracy watch list'. As should Britain. Labour don't know the meaning of the word.
Zimbabwean police 'use batons' against doctors. Heading for total meltdown.
Special Report: West Africa welcomes Latin America's drug barons. Corruption is rife in Africa so they will be made to feel right at home.
Zimbabwe declares emergency and pleads for help over cholera epidemic. Declaring an emergency is not the same as doing something about it. Expect calls for money and a ban on aid workers operating in the country.
Tesco defections send Morrisons sales soaring. Good news. Morrisons is way better than Tescos.
Mumbai gunman says he was paid $1,900 for attack - as new CCTV emerges. Muslim mercenaries.
Israel 'prepared to attack' Iran nuclear plants. They had better get on with it. Obama is anti-Israel so support is about to dry up.
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You know what would really tick OFF the Democrats.
If Bush should resign now.
Then Dick Cheney becomes President(that would really tick OFF the libs)!!!
Then he appoints Condoleeza Rice as VP.
Then Cheney resigns two weeks later and Condoleeza Rice, A Republican, becomes the first BLACK - WOMAN President.
I am not sure this is correct but it would be nice to see the Dems go nuts.
H/T DML
The Six Phases Of A Project:
1. Enthusiasm
2. Confusion
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment of the Innocent
6. Praise and Promotions for the Non-participants
H/T DML
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
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