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Pakistan sets out demands for taking back Rochdale rapist
18 minutes ago
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND.
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing
her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the
monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure
enough, there was definite movement.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As
crazy as this sounds, maybe a little '0ral sex' will do the trick &
bring her out of the coma.' The husband was skeptical, but they
assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.
The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few
minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The
nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried.
The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'
H/T Rodney
Monday, 15 December 2008
Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton are on the Titanic.
When it starts to sink Carter yells, “Quick, save the women and children!”
Nixon: “Screw the women and children”
Clinton: “Do we have time?”
H/T DML
Poem of the Day....
Goodbye to my England, So long my old friend
Your days are numbered, being brought to an end
To be Scottish, Irish or Welsh that's fine
But don't say you're English, that's way out of line.
The French and the Germans may call themselves such
May Norwegians, the Swedes and the Dutch
You can say you are Russian or maybe a Dane
But don't say you're English ever again.
At Broadcasting House the word is taboo
In Brussels it's Scrapped, in Parliament too
Even schools are affected, staff do as they're told
They must not teach children about England of old.
Writers like Shakespeare, Milton and Shaw
The pupils do not learn about them anymore
How about Agincourt, Hastings , Arnhem or Mons
When England lost hosts of her very brave sons.
We are not Europeans, how can we be?
Europe is miles away over the sea
We're the English from England, let's all be proud
Stand up and be counted- Shout it out loud.
Let's tell our Government and Brussels too
We're proud of our heritage and the Red, White and Blue
Fly the flag of Saint George or the Union Jack
Let the world know - we want OUR ENGLAND BACK !!!!
H/T Liz B
The most important car for 100 years acccording to James May......
...the Fuel Cell powered Honda FCX Clarity. You even get a glimpse at Jay Leno's car collection.
The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you'll remember this story.
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she askes the sales clerk: 'Dddooo youuuu hhhave ddddiillldosss?'
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing replies 'Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.'
The old lady then asks: 'Ddddoooo yyyouuuu cccarrry aaa pppinnkk oonnee, ttteeennn iincches lllong aaanndd aabbbooouutt ttwwoo iincchess tthiicck…aaand rruuns bbby bbbaatteerrieees s?'
The clerk responds: 'Yes we do.'
She asks: 'Ddddooo yyyoouuu kknnooww hhhooww tttooo ttuuurrnn tthhe sssunnoffaaabbii ttch offff?
H/T Don Emslie
News...
Sovietizing the Economy: The Final Phase. from Prolibertate
House prices to crash 30% by end of next year, warns Barclays boss. Don't you just love an optimist!!
These cowards won't defeat us: Commander's contempt for Taliban who used child bomber to kill Royal Marines. Good man.
After 130 years of fundraising, Sally Army told to stop rattling collecting tins because it might 'offend other religions'. Oh for f**ks sake.
We will not prop up plummeting pound, say ministers. They have lost control of the economy, actually I am not sure they ever had control.
Shoes thrown at George Bush during surprise farewell visit to Iraq. He should have caught one and sent it back with interest.
Former Defence chiefs accuse Government of 'failing' Armed Forces. Talk about stating the bleeding obvious. The MoD are also to blame for not standing up to the government and protecting their cosy little REMF jobs. We do not need a ministry for the military. They are more than capable of looking after themselves.
Old Etonian becomes Thailand's new prime minister. Bloody Etonians get everywhere.
Britain faces humiliating Iraq withdrawal. Only according to the idiots of the British Liberal Media who have done everything to undermine our troops in Iraq.
North and South split as US battles to save GM, Chrysler and Ford. The unions finished the British Car industry and could do the same for the US.
The various benefits of Fruit and Veg....as long as they are accompanied by large quantities of meat.
Click to enlarge
H/T Peter Gunn
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