Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Irish Viagra.....
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband’s libido.
‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.
‘Not a chance’, she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin’.
‘Not a problem’, replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’. It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went’.
It wasn’t a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress and the poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’
‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor.
‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up with a twinkle in his eye and his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and made love to me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’
‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor, ‘Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good’?'
‘Twas the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!’
H/T DML
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WTF!!
Rhys Death: Gang Shows Off Bombs. If they have bombs they are 'terrorists'. Hit them and hit them hard.
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U.S. Navy amphibious assault vehicles head into the well deck of amphibious transport dock ship USS New Orleans in the Pacific Ocean, Dec. 6, 2008. New Orleans is on a certification exercise as part of the Boxer Expeditionary Strike Group preparing for a deployment. U.S. Navy photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Daniel Barke.
H/T Strombringer
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News...
UN approves piracy land pursuit. The UN finally does something semi-useful.
Chicago Tribune Stopped Working With Prosecutors, Forced Arrest of Ill. Gov. Too Early. The media are a menace.
Baghdad shoe attacker nurses a broken arm and ribs. Good.
How the 'cash-strapped' BBC spent £160,000 on parties for its stars. Another reason to get rid of the TV licence.
'The economy is f***ed' says Virgin boss Sir Richard Branson as tycoon slams greedy bankers. And he is right.
Scrap the buffet car? That's off the rails. So much for customer service.
Private schools told: open to poor or face closure. More class war bullshit from Labour.
Darfur civilians 'seized as slaves by Sudan military'. Another tragedy ignored by the west.
ANC defiant as breakaway party names Mosiuoa Lekota its leader. The ANC fighting amongst themselves, should get interesting.
Brown sets summer date for British troop pullout from Iraq during Baghdad visit. If he thinks this will keep the unemployed figures off the news he is mistaken.
Why is the State so utterly incompetent?. Because it is so big and totally unaccountable.
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Government Travelers –
A Washington , D.C. , airport ticket agent offers some examples of why the country is in trouble!
'I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.'
I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight, and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ." Without trying to make her look stupid, calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts ; Capetown is in Africa ," Her response - click.
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am, and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?"
A lady Senator called, and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , Florida , on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada ?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
I suspect that they were all Democrats!!
H/T Govt 45
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