...didn't know they had done a Christmas Album.
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Saturday, 20 December 2008
Japanese Bubble Car..... clever little thing.
...it helps if you speak Japanese, well I think it's Japanese.
H/T Jeffrey Nihart
Brown's New Wheeze....Penis Taxation''
The only thing that the Inland Revenue has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1st, 2009 your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:
10″- 12″ Luxury Tax……….£30.00
8″- 10″ Pole Tax………….£25.00
5″- 8″ Privilege Tax………£15.00
4″- 5″ Nuisance Tax……….£3.00
Males exceeding 12″ must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4″ is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!
Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
Inland Revenue
FAQ's
- Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
- What if one’s penis is self employed?
- Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
- Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?
- Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
H/T DML
'Twas the Night before Christmas ~ other version
Twas the night before Christmas old Santa was pissed,
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind, to scrap the whole works.
I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear..
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money and the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is Pregnant Vixon has AIDS
Flying through the air, dodging the trees.
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.
And just when I thought that things would get better,
The IRS, they sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes. If that aint damn funny..
Who the hell ever sent Santa any money?
And the kids these days, they all are the pits.
They want the impossible, those mean little shits.
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds with no request for them
They want computers and Robots, they think I am IBM
If you think that is bad picture this..
Try holding those brats with their pants full of piss.
They pull on my nose, they grab at my beard
And if I don't smile, the parents think I'm weird
I quit this job, there is just no enjoyment
I'm going to sit on my fat ass and collect unemployment
There is NO Christmas this year Now you know the reason
I found me a blonde and heading SOUTH for the season....
H/T DML
Blogpost of the Day....
Recons May Be Tough, But Only Wimps Wear Parachutes!
The true story of John "ACE" Hunt - A Marine crew chief that fell 800 feet from his CH-46 helicopter in Vietnam, and survived.
H/T Thomas Harris
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