We're in the fast lane to Bailoutistan!
H/T Shelly
Monday, 22 December 2008
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A PEACE MESSAGE:
"Aloha snackbar, to all fundamentalist Islamoretard heathen followers of a lunatic pedophile psychopath (piss be upon him).
You moon-rock worshipping, misogynistic, homoerotic, murderousley-intolerant, savagely ignorant, bereft of common-sense, lacking basic human decency, and deprived of alcohol-humor-fun clueless dumbasses... I WISH YOU ALL ETERNAL PEACE (your version of peace, that is).
Sadly I ran out of time and ammunition to accomplish this for as many of you as I had hoped, but there are still very many more fine young men and women perfectly ready, willing, and able to continue bringing you PEACE until you reach an understanding of modern civilized behavior.
Until that time arrives, however, pucker up buttercup!"
Rico sends.
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Crime report!!!!
A local man was found murdered in his home in Galveston, Texas over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk and cornflakes, and the deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks...
Police believe it was the work of a cereal killer.
H/T M Kohl
Some 'we were so poor' stories from Banjo Hangout.
People saw us kicking a can down the street and asked what we were doing...we said "Moving"
We hung the toilet paper out to dry.
We couldn't pay attention.
We made a hole in the kitchen wall, behind the cooker, and we used to dip our bread in next door's gravy!
We leave my door unlocked. A burglar might come in and lose some of his change.
My grandma went to the local government office and said: "I hear y'all declared a war on poverty. Did we win?"
The dog got nervous every year at Thanksgiving.
We had to borrow a few beans, to make the gas for a fire.
Our momma used to serve cereal with a fork.
The only things we saw on the kitchen table were elbows.
The bank came and repossessed the calendar they gave us at the county fair.
We would go to the KFC and lick other peoples' fingers.
The electric company came to the house and blew out the candles.
Maw & Paw had to face opposite directions and hook their elbows together, just to make ends meet.
We had to reach up to touch bottom.
When we needed a new pair of shoes Ma would make us run outside when it was raining.
When we got our feet good and muddy she made us come inside and put our feet up until the mud dried.
H/T DML
News...
After Woolies, 15 store chains 'will go bust next month' as shoppers stay at home. Kings Lynn has already lost Focus DIY, MFI and Woolies.
We failed to spot the dangers of debt: Bank chief's startling admission on financial crisis. Everyone with half a brain cell saw it coming, except the Government and Bank of England!!
Pensioner survives being stuck up to her knees in mud for 21 HOURS overnight. Tough old bird.
Parents warned not to 'hang baubles on Christmas tree' in leaflet isued by Ed Balls' staff. More bollocks from Balls.
Teenage thief who stole £25,000 of lead from Rochester cathedral is ordered to repay only £1. Pathetic!
Busking bagpiper arrested for causing 'distress' to local shoppers. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing!!
Mugabe's genocide: The images of despair that reveal the full horror of Zimbabwe. Mugabe must be killed, there is no other option.
British troops suffer four times as many fatalities as Americans. They need the right equipment now. Labour must be held to account for this.
Israeli leaders vow to topple Hamas. Good.
US says Zimbabwe power-sharing deal cannot happen with Robert Mugabe as president. The Embassy's Marine Detail should be able to manage it in about 10 minutes.
Rubber ducks elude Nasa. 'Looks like we got ourselves a convoy!!!'
Toyota to make first loss since 1941. Who will still be making cars in 12 months time?
National Grid chief Steve Holliday: blackouts will be common in 7 years. If we have a cold winter expect them this year.
Companies blacklisted in US for allegedly backing Mugabe operate freely in UK. Shut the f**kers down.
and finally.
God bless all of you . . . on the good Earth by Jeff Jacoby
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