H/T Peter Gunn
Saturday, 3 January 2009
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Last year we were read in 195 countries.......
..incidentally the UN only has 192 members. Maybe we should be in charge of 'world peace'.
73% of our readers are in the US/Canada.
December was our best month ever with:
67,842 Absolutely Unique Visitors
150,507 Visits
311,506 Page Views
Friday, 2 January 2009
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Some New Year groaners to cheer up your day.....
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a peach.
10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
14. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In Feudalism it's your Count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
H/T DML
An Oldie: All in a name.....
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone.
She approached him. 'My name is Carmen,' she told him.
'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'
'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.....What's your name?' she asked.
He said, 'B. J. Titsengolf'
H/T DML
Light News...
Trusting shopkeeper keeps store open on day off... and leaves customers a note and honesty box. Great, sadly now that everybody knows the story he won't be able to do it again 'cos very crook in the district will be waiting for the opportunity to clear him out.
How benefits make parents better off if they decide to split. Disgusting. The freaks, fairies and fantasists who run Labours policies hate the concept of marriage and normal families.
Britain slips down wealth league table, falling below Italy and France. If Brown stays in charge we will soon be below Zimbabwe.
Snorkeller shoots himself in groin with speargun. Bet that hurt!
Hardline Hamas leader killed in air strike on Gaza home. He is not so effing hard now!! The rest of the Hamas leadership will no doubt run away to the safety of Lebanon or Damascus if they haven't already.
Gaza rockets put Israel’s nuclear plant in battle zone. Not if Israel pushes Hamas into the sea it won't.
British Frontier Corps veteran recalls fighting Pashtun tribesmen. You will probably see a similar story in 50 years time as one of today's 'veterans' writes his memoires of the continuing war in Afghanistan.
A new year's resolution: Could we be a little more polite, please? Good Manners are rare these days.
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