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Thursday, 8 January 2009
Womans classes!
Women think they already know everything, but evening training courses are now available for women, in the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills : Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
8. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
9. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
10. Introduction to Parking
11. Advanced Parking: Reversing Into a Space
12. Cooking: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
13. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
14. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
15. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
16. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have
17. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
18. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
19. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
H/T Rodney
News....
Drug rehabilitation for offenders a waste of time, says judge. A Judge with common sense, that's rare.
Gordon Brown's decision to sell half of the UK's gold reserves 'cost UK £5billion'. And he should re-imburse us in full.
UFO hits wind turbine. Told you the fens were an odd place to live.
Let's print more money! Labour's latest big idea to fix Britain's economic crisis. That should totally annihilate the British economy.
Single father turned away from swimming pool... because health and safety rules say he can't supervise his two sons. Oh for f**ks sake.
How 4,000 civil servants are paid an estimated £133m a year despite not actually having a job. Only 4,000. the figure is probably closer to 40,000. Sack all of the useless bastards and take away their pensions because they sure as hell haven't earned them.
Jobs dry up but Poles stay to reap the benefits. The benefits system has become a freeloaders charter.
High prices and 'Basil Fawlty service' putting off tourists from visiting Britain. We seem to have lost the concept of 'customer service'.
Rockets 'from Lebanon' fired into Israel. As predicted. Iran is trying to spread the 'conflict'.
Mumbai dossier reveals chilling celebrations of Pakistani masterminds. If India doesn't smack Pakistan it will be a miracle.
Zimbabwe opposition activists face death penalty over bombings. When is someone going to bomb Mugabe.
Gaza conflict has caused fury among British Muslims, leaders tell Gordon Brown. Then I suggest they all piss off to Gaza.
Council tax debt-chasers on £600 an hour. They should get a standard fee. Let's say £50.
Vladimir Putin's weapon could easily backfire into a very cold war. Everyone now knows that he cannot be trusted on any level. Only a fool would trust the Russians now.
Man smashes into Cairns adult shop for sex with dolls. Now that is desperate.
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