Friday, 9 January 2009
News....
Starved to death in an NHS hospital: Damning inquiry highlights case of patient left without food for 26 days. Someone should face criminal charges for this.
Sainsbury's posts best ever Christmas as shoppers turn to the cut price 'Basics' range. Oh yes. All the supermarkets have raised the prices of their 'basics' by about 25% so do't be fooled into believing they are cheap.
Unmanned stealth bomber could have been UFO responsible for destroying wind turbine. I wish! The odds on our military getting anything unmanned and stealthy are zero.
Pictured: The amazing tin can bomber made by British pilot in Great Escape POW camp. Hopefully it will go to a museum.
Al-Qaeda's Pakistan chief and senior aide killed. Scratch another two. Interestingly their were both Kenyans. Where else have I heard of a Kenyan Muslim?
Iran denounces BBC's new Persian channel. Let the Top Gear boys loose on The Iranians. The Mullahs would be out by the end of the month.
Barack Obama 'open to talks with Hamas'. Talking to Terrorists already.
Nato warning for Russia over 'political' gas crisis. Putin is nothing more than an old Soviet Bully Boy. We must stand up to him.
UN calls for immediate ceasefire in Gaza. The people in Darfur and Zimbabwe must be very 'impressed'. Thousands are being killed in these countries with no hope of salvation from the UN, yet drop a bomb on a Palestinian Terrorist and the 'United Nations' are sticking their nose in.
Whistlestop Brown on the wrong track. There is going to be one hell of a train wreck
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A Poem ....
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule,
For this great nation under God
Finds public mention of him odd,
Any prayer a class recites
Now violates the bill of rights;
Any time my head I bow
Becomes a federal matter now.
Teach us of stars, of pole and equator
But make no mention of their creator;
Tell us of exports in Denmark and Sweden
But not a word of what Eve did in Eden
The law is specific, the law is precise
Praying out loud is no longer nice;
Praying aloud in a public hall
Upsets believers in nothing at all.
In silence alone can we meditate
And if God gets the credit.... great!
This rule, however has a gimmick in it:
You've got to be finished in less than a minute;
So all that I ask is a minute of quiet
If I feel like praying, then maybe I'll try it;
If not, oh Lord, this plea I make,
If I die in school, my soul you'll take.
This version is simply signed "Anonymous"
'Borrowed from Curmedgeonly & Skeptical
H/T M Kohl
Outrageous Traffic Accident Excuses......
“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.”
“The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.”
“I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”
“I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.”
“He applied brake and his car stopped, I applied brake and my car didn’t stop.”
“An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished.”
“I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.”
“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.”
“When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.”
“In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”
“As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.”
“The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.”
H/T DML
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Excuse for Bride Totty....
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'It was the happiest day of my life.
Arrived at church.
Wife waiting at altar.
Walked up the aisle.
Kissed her on the cheek.
Smiled. And closed the f**kin lid!'
H/T Shelly
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