Guards at asylum seeker centre unmasked as BNP members. Since when is being a member of a political party a 'criminal' offence? Actually membership of the Labour party should carry the death penalty.
Navy bikini plan is torpedoed. Pity. The idea had great potential.
Brown's guru is ridiculed for seeing 'green shoots' of economic recovery... as 4,000 jobs go and shares plummet. Silly cow.
He's back: MoD launches own 'Action Man' range of toys to boost profile of Armed Forces. I think spending to money on real troops would be better.
New giant database will store private details of EVERY person in 'Big Brother' Britain. Soon you will need permission to take a dump.
Top retailers see sales plummet: PC World, Currys and Homebase post 10% dive in last quarter. How many will survive 'til the summer?
Labour's passport giveaway: 275,000 migrants a year could get UK citizenship. WTF! 
History will show that George W Bush was right. Too right.
Top Secret MoD computers £200m over budget and 18 months late. The MoD never get anything on time and budget due to their monumental stupidity.
One in five Guantanamo Bay detainees is on hunger strike. Let the bastards starve.
Changes to Venezuela constitution could keep Hugo Chavez in power for years. Then I suggest someone stops him.
Japan strikes gold from cremated ashes. A whole new concept in recycling.
Thursday, 15 January 2009
News....
101 Ways to Annoy People Part 4
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
H/T DML
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Old Burma Shave Road Signs.......
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DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave
DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED
NEXT IS NOT AMUSING
Burma Shave
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave
AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT?
Burma Shave
H/T Shelly
