Friday, 16 January 2009
Petter Solberg makes a total tit of himself.....
He is a Rally Driver for those who have never heard of him.
Light News.....
MARK Donaldson has become the first Australian soldier awarded the Victoria Cross in 40 years, for his "exceptional bravery" in service in Afghanistan. A hero.
MPs in new dodge to keep details of expenses secret. Bunch of bloody crooks.
MoD plans to send 3,000 more British troops to Afghanistan as Defence Secretary launches bitter attack on Nato allies. The troops were always going to be sent. The Minister is having a little bull-fest to make it look as if he knows what he is doing.
Americans suffer record cold as temperatures plunge to -40C. Damn tricky this global warming.
Israel kills senior Hamas leader in Gaza. No wonder Hamas are becoming desperate for a ceasefire.
US imposes new 'smart sanctions' on Burma. Only smart bombs will work on the junta.
Robert Mugabe's regime 'collapsing'. They have been saying that for years. Mugabe should have been 'removed' a long time ago.
War in Gaza: UN aid compound set alight ‘by phosphorus shells’. Good. The UN have been 'protecting' Hamas for too long.
Generals in 'scrap Trident' call. They are not retired, they are retarded.
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101 Ways to Annoy People Part 5
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact..
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
H/T DML
Thursday, 15 January 2009
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?
An Italian - will throw away the cup and walk away in a fit of rage.
A Frenchman - will take out the fly, and drink the coffee.
A Chinaman - will eat the fly and throw away the coffee.
A Russian - will drink the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no
charge.
An Israeli - will sell the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, buy himself a new cup of coffee and use the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.
The Palestinian - will blame the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protest the act of aggression to the UN, take a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, use the money to purchase explosives and then blow up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of coffee to the Palestinian.
H/T Shelly
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Gun Control......The Criminals are for it.
Britain is a classic case in point.
H/Ts Jeffrey Nihart & Thomas Harris
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