H/T Pete Hurrell
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Bail Out Explained.............
Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, I have some bad news; the horse died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?'
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell any body he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off - sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave back his two dollars.'
Chuck grew up and works now for the government.
He was the one who figured out how to "bail us out."
H/T Peter Gunn
News....
"I'm a successful Somali pirate": Yassin's story. Soon to be ex-pirate.
Growing stocks of unsold cars around the world. There are a lot of them.
Coastguards can't start a rescue until they fill out a healthy and safety assessment. It is time we got rid of the Health and Safety Executive. They are no longer useful.
Religion divides us more than race, say Britons. No s**t.
Army chief pledges to ease pressure of combat tours on soldiers' families. Just increase the military. If Brown can find 200 billion for the banks he can find 50 billion for the Armed Forces.
No, Brown can’t save the world - but nor can his rivals. Our entire political class is bankrupt of ideas. They are totally inbred. If we are going to save Britain we must first rid ourselves of the political partie's stranglehold on our political system.
Britain will suffer worst slump in Europe, warns Commission in damning report. The only person who cannot see how bad things are is Brown.
George Galloway divorced over 'unreasonable behaviour'. Who the f**k would want to marry the asshole in the first place?
Zimbabwe talks to end power-sharing deadlock end in collapse. Hardly surprising. Mugabe will never share power.
Al-Qaeda cell killed by Black Death 'was developing biological weapons'. Of course they were. They will continue to do so until they are eradicated from the face of the earth.
Rebuilding the Gaza Strip 'will cost billions'. Not if we don't give them any money.
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Ten Minutes Late....
There was a man named John who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked John to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. John replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
On Saturday morning John was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right-handed and won the round.
Next Saturday rolls around, and John says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golf's left-handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with John always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left- or right-handed.
The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, “John, every Saturday you say you may be 10 minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf either right-handed or left-handed, and always win. What is up with that?”
John replies, “Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left-handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right-handed.”
“Well,” one of the employees questioned, “What happens if she is laying on her back?”
John replies, “Then I am 10 minutes late.”
H/T DML
Monday, 19 January 2009
Tech News.....
After going through a virus attack, losing a hard drive, fighting off hackers, upgrading all my software, installing fire-walls, being threatened with being cut-off by my email provider, and a host of other problems...
I have fixed my computer... and NOW it works exactly the way I want it to! 
H/T Pete Hurrell
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Blog of the Day...
Find him here.
Another blog header from yours truly.
For more of my photoshopping efforts see HERE
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