Thursday, 29 January 2009
A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet's surgery.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, 'Cuddles' has passed away'
The distressed owner wailed 'Are you sure ?'
'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead' he replied.
'How can you be so sure,' she protested. ' I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something'
The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog, and took it out, and returned a few minutes later with a cat.The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, mewed softly
astrolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck'.
The vet turned to his PC, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. '$150!', she cried, '$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!'
The vet just shrugged, and said 'I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now $150'
H/T Margo's Maid
Party Preference......
According to a Glamour Magazine poll, 22% of men prefer going to a strip club for their bachelor party.
The other 78% were standing next to their fiancé when answering the question.
H/T DML
News....
Page 3 Tory in PC bust-up. F**k the council.
Now Gordon Brown's own MPs brand him a 'headless chicken' over recession. Brown is finished. Someone should put him out of his misery.
Bitter Siberian winds set to bring snow and give UK coldest winter for 13 years. Woo hoo. A proper winter.
Heavy horses that are 'rarer than pandas' are facing extinction, breeders warn. We must save these magnificent creatures.
Israel targets Hamas weapons factory in overnight strike. Keep on hitting them where ever they hide.
Van ends up balanced on cliff edge in scene resembling The Italian Job. Close.
Barack Obama 'may send letter' to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to smooth US-Iranian relations. Is he really that naive? Oh yes.
Britain opens door to 36,000 Gurkha veterans after policy U-turn. About bloody time too.
Annual house prices plunge 16.6 per cent. Freefall.
Forced to kneel on gravel: the mother deemed a danger to Mugabe. The torture goes on.
Cross-party support fades as Barack Obama rescue passes first test. Too much pork.
'Too many' cannot read and write. And that's just our politicians.
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