H/T Peter Gunn
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Light News...
'British jobs for British workers': Wildcat strikes spread over foreign workers shipped into the UK. Another Labour inspired 'Winter of Discontent'.
Warning from Asda: This milk bottle contains, er, milk. Oh for f**ks sake.
Silenced Christian soldiers: Sandhurst chaplain bans Creed 'so services won't offend minority religions'. Sack the bum.
Removing car wrecks with the dead still inside will ease congestion: 'Mad Mullah' police chief's latest idea. Bloody nutter.
This is why Britain is a failing nation. Heffer on the state of our education system.
Hamas must be brought into peace process, says Tony Blair. Confirmation of what a total wanker Blair is.
Tsvangirai risks all as he does deal with Mugabe on sharing power. He is just prolonging Zimbabwe's agony. Mugabe must be removed by force.
British troops in Helmand get extra helicopters at last. They need a lot more than 7.
Octuplets' Family Filed For Bankruptcy. and the rest.
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Discovery....
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colours, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.
H/T DML
Friday, 30 January 2009
Fork Handles.......
..possibly one of the funniest sketches ever - courtesy of the Two Ronnies.
H/T DML
Male Sexual Sensitivity Test.....
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you have both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you have just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.
You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. I hope we can still be friends.
B. I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.
C. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU.
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
==================
Evaluating Results:
If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy.
You're a little confused.
If you answered C more than 7 times, you da man!
H/T Shelly
A Sad Loss....
Cricket mourns death of Frindall. Anyone who loves cricket and especially Test Match Special will be greatly saddened by his death.
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