The ultimate PURRING machine - a motorbike in the shape of a pouncing Jaguar.
H/T Liz B
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
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Understanding Banking......
Just so everyone understands how easy it is to get screwed... American in origin but published in "Punch" on April 3, 1957 but VERY pertinent to what's happening today!
Q: What are banks for?
A: To make money.
Q: For the customers?
A: For the banks.
Q: Why doesn't bank advertising mention this?
A: It would not be in good taste. But it is mentioned by implication in references to reserves of $249,000,000,000 or thereabouts. That is the money they have made.
Q: Out of the customers?
A: I suppose so.
Q: They also mention Assets of $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts. Have they made that too?
A: Not exactly. That is the money they use to make money.
Q: I see. And they keep it in a safe somewhere?
A: Not at all. They lend it to customers.
Q: Then they haven't got it?
A: No.
Q: Then how is it Assets?
A: They maintain that it would be if they got it back.
Q: But they must have some money in a safe somewhere?
A: Yes, usually $500,000,000,000 or thereabouts. This is called Liabilities.
Q: But if they've got it, how can they be liable for it?
A: Because it isn't theirs.
Q: Then why do they have it?
A: It has been lent to them by customers.
Q: You mean customers lend banks money?
A: In effect. They put money into their accounts, so it is really lent to the banks.
Q: And what do the banks do with it?
A: Lend it to other customers.
Q: But you said that money they lent to other people was Assets?
A: Yes.
Q: Then Assets and Liabilities must be the same thing?
A: You can't really say that.
Q: But you've just said it! If I put $100 into my account the bank is liable to have to pay it back, so it's Liabilities. But they go and lend it to someone else, and he is liable to have to pay it back, so it's Assets. It's the same $100 isn't it?
A: Yes, but....
Q: Then it cancels out. It means, doesn't it, that banks haven't really any money at all?
A: Theoretically......
Q: Never mind theoretically! And if they haven't any money, where do they get their Reserves of $249,000,000,000 or thereabouts??
A: I told you. That is the money they have made.
Q: How?
A: Well, when they lend your $100 to someone they charge him interest.
Q: How much?
A: It depends on the Bank Rate. Say five and a-half percent. That's their profit.
Q: Why isn't it my profit? Isn't it my money?
A: It's the theory of banking practice that.........
Q: When I lend them my $100 why don't I charge them interest?
A: You do.
Q: You don't say. How much?
A: It depends on the Bank Rate. Say a half percent.
Q: Grasping of me, rather?
A: But that's only if you're not going to draw the money out again.
Q: But of course I'm going to draw the money out again! If I hadn't wanted to draw it out again I could have buried it in the garden!
A: They wouldn't like you to draw it out again.
Q: Why not? If I keep it there you say it's a Liability. Wouldn't they be glad if I reduced their Liabilities by removing it?
A: No. Because if you remove it they can't lend it to anyone else.
Q: But if I wanted to remove it they'd have to let me?
A: Certainly.
Q: But suppose they've already lent it to another customer?
A: Then they'll let you have some other customers money.
Q: But suppose he wants his too....and they've already let me have it?
A: You're being purposely obtuse.
Q: I think I'm being acute. What if everyone wanted their money all at once?
A: It's the theory of banking practice that they never would.
Q: So what banks bank on, is not having to meet their commitments?
YOU GOT IT?
H/T AJD
Gizmo of the Day: Inaugural surveillance cam......
Try it here
You can use the roller on your mouse, or use the bar on the left side of the page to navigate and get in really close.
What a surveillance tool this is. Your can actually see people over half a mile away on rooftops.
This picture was taken with a robotic camera and with 1,474 megapixel. (295 times the standard 5 megapixel camera).
It was a Canon that pulled together over 200 individual shots.
Each zoom in takes a second to focus ...and then you can see some amazing reactions.
H/T Shelly
News....
It's going to last all week! Worst snow for 18 years brings Britain slithering to a halt... and costs economy £3bn. What ever happened to battling through. Two effing snow flakes and the whole country curls up in a ball and cries for their mummy.
Pay 'apartheid' between public and private sector workers grows by 50%. The Public sector is vastly over manned. I recommend a 50% cut. With a 80% cut in the civil service.
Computers and TV blamed for teenage violence and casual sex. The parents are ultimately to blame.
Foreign workers win Olympic jobs: 1 in 3 employed at key 2012 site is from abroad. Because they are prepared to work long hours for low pay.
Why these strikers may tear down the EU empire. Nice idea. Better still just quit the EU.
Where's our true grit in the face of snow? And why did they cancel ALL London's buses without asking Boris? My thoughts exactly.
British police running from Muslim demonstrators, a Christian nurse facing the sack for offering to pray for a patient - this is the way a society dies. Time to stand up and fight.
We seem to be run by a parade of Private Godfreys. That's an insult to Private Godfrey.
Wildcat strikes threaten to escalate after Lord Mandelson calls protests 'xenophobic'. Spurred on by Mandelson. He knows that the only way Labour has a chance at the next election is if the BNP can steal enough Tory votes to cut their lead in the polls.
Royal Marines refused a pint on return from Afghanistan after bar staff refuse military ID. The military and anyone with a conscience should boycott Wetherspoons.
Snow: sales of wellies, gloves, soup and cat litter all surge. There are people in Britain who don't already own wellies!!!!
Snow: Councils and transport chiefs blamed for fiasco. Sack the idiots responsible.
North Korea prepares to test long-range missile. The corpse that was 'lil Kim' is asking for a smack.
Prince William's deployment to Falkland Islands upsets Argentina. Sod Argentina.
Muammar Gaddafi vows to create 'United States of Africa'. Once a nutter always a nutter. By electing him as head of the African Union the continent has shown what a corrupt shambles it is. Time to cut off all aid.
Zimbabwe slices 12 zeros off battered currency. Shhh, it will give Gordon Brown ideas.
India set to follow cheap car with £7 laptop. Good. My Sonys cost a fortune.
Every hospital in England to get senior dementia specialist. The bloody government needs one.
Weather: snow brings chaos as councils start running low on grit. What bloody snow!! Norfolk is snow free.
Senate Republicans reject President Obama's offer of collaboration. If he wants any level of co-operation he must leave the military budget alone.
British Town Demonstrates World's First Garbage Truck Powered by Garbage. One thing Britain still has is plenty of garbage.
Snow Britain: 10 facts about snow.
Ex-Fannie Mae programmer says not guilty of virus. More idea's for Brown.
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