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Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Today's fund raiser.....
An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra...
'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'
'I can cut them for you' said Dan the pharmacist 'but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. '
'I'm 96' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.'
H/T Rico
News.....
Sex, drugs and Islam. All is not well in Iran.
Obama's New Spy Chief Publishes a Vicious Anti Israel Journal. Obambi has some very strange 'friends'.
Attack threat to ambulance staff. Give them tasers.
What do they have to hide? Fury as Straw blocks release of minutes of key Cabinet meeting held before Iraq war. Wait for the leak. It will come.
Policeman hauled before court and suspended for 20 months for defending himself against yob who headbutted him. The Crown Prosecution Service are a criminals best friend.
British-born jihadists are joining Taliban so they can kill UK troops. We need to crack down on the islamonazis in our midst.
Will Labour allow THIS Muslim hardliner with links to Hezbollah into Britain? Tea and biccys with Gordon Brown no doubt.
More than £50m set aside to pay bonuses for MoD civil servants. Sack them, don't reward them.
Iran to test first nuclear power plant. Assuming that Israel doesn't bomb it.
Troop shortages mean Taliban retake ground in Helmand. We must let the military have what they need. You cannot fight a war on the cheap.
Barack Obama to order all US troops out of Iraq by 2010. As part of his defense cuts.
Taliban calls ceasefire in order to concentrate on attacking Nato. We should use 'every' weapon we have against the Taleban.
The people say they'll keep calm and carry on. . . but for how long? Heffer on the storm that is brewing.
Zimbabwe's vice-president foiled in 3,600kg gold deal. She is as bad as Mugabe.
Rogue Financier Stanford Linked to Fund Run by Bidens. Tch Tch. Where there is a crook there is usually a democrat not far behind.
and finally:
The List. Funny. (H/T Nebraska Bob)
Money Worries: No probs. The Bank of Obama is here to help!!!!!!
Bad mortgage, student loan, credit card debt, Vegas trip... you know someone who needs a personal bailout for it. The Bank of Obama believes everyone should get their share of the stimulus package.
Bail Out Your Friends Today!
There is a fee for this service. Just so you know.
H/T DML
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A Spot of Math.............
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S -H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work andKnowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
H/T Peter Gunn
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
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