These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the MOST romantic first line but LEAST romantic second line.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your mother
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling you lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
H/T DML
Thursday, 26 February 2009
Love/Hate Poetry....
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession
Upon entering the confessional, she said,
'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'
...............................................
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking . We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins? '
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling everybody.'
H/T Shelly
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Thought for the Day...
Members of Congress should be compelled to wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.
H/T DML
Breaking.....
Labour peer Lord Ahmed jailed for motorway texting. He should lose his peerage. For this and his 'support' of our enemies.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
H/T DML
Site of the Day.....
You should have seen this It's a list with links of the best videos and other stuff on the net. They are all there, Numa, the bear and the trampoline and that bloody dancing baby off Ally McBeal. There are some classics and some you may not have seen. Well worth a visit if you have the time.
Ooops the link works now
