Has to be photoshopped!
Saturday, 28 February 2009
Life's little ironies......
1. Online pop-ups offering to help you get rid of online pop-ups advertisements.
2. When your Seeing Eye dog goes blind.
3. Needing to pay someone to help you pay your taxes.
4. That Valentine’s Day was placed in February, just in case single people who have recovered from the loneliness that Christmas and New Year’s Eve induced.
5. That even the fanciest restaurants suffer from pest-control problems.
6. Wondering who was rude enough to leave an empty roll of toilet paper and then remembering it was you.
7. Tipping the bartender for handing you a bottle of beer, but giving nothing to the guy who pumps your gas in the pouring rain.
8. That we judge balding men by the choices they make in coping with their baldness.
9. That finding your roach traps empty only adds to your fear that they don’t work, instead of reassuring you that you don’t have roaches anymore.
10. That all good things come to an end, but some mediocre things seem to last a very long time.
11. When you wish, as you blow out the candles, is that this be the last birthday you spend with the people around you.
12. Cults that build up huge arsenals, refuse to pay taxes, and complain that the FBI is watching over them.
13. People who refuse to see a psychologist because they don’t need to pay someone to help them out with their issues, but will gladly spend $100 a week at a tanning salon.
14. What most telescopes are used for.
15. When your fear of overpacking causes you to underpack.
16. Paying a toll to cross a bridge when you know you’re going in the wrong direction.
17. The fact that many old people are forced to live out the remainder of their lives in formerly good neighbourhoods.
18. Paying three bucks for a cup of soda that’s 70 percent ice.
19. That the most intense laughter you have usually comes at the least appropriate time.
20. Wondering if you are entitled to the deep sense of loss you feel when a celebrity you admire dies.
21. That you wouldn’t have the faintest idea if your accountant was ripping you off.
H/T DML
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For all you golfers out there…
...the top 10 caddy comments.
#10
Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “I don’t think you can keep your head down that long.”
#9
Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”
#8
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”
#7
Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”
#6 Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”
#5 Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It ’s not a watch - it’s a compass.”
#4 Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.”
#3 Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?”
Caddy: “The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.”
#2 Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”
#1 Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”
H/T DML
Friday, 27 February 2009
Now this is taking the piss!!
Ryanair mulls charge for toilets. You have to admire O'Leary because he really does like to see how much s**t his passengers will take. Idea: Clothes are heavy and therefore not fuel efficient so why not let naked passengers fly free and charge the rest per item of clothing.
H/T DML
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