This is a 'headline' you'll never see. You already KNOW why you won't.
Teddy Knighted, Mary Jo still dead.
How could you DO this Queenie?
H/T Rico.
In Her Majesty's defence, I bet she wasn't consulted about this.
Thursday, 5 March 2009
A headline you'll never see......
The Office of Hope Adjustment...........from Rico.
A 'new' Government agency has been established (the Office of Hope Adjustment) because government works so very well, that even more of it must be a good idea....right?
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Random Thoughts.....
I have all the money I’ll ever need - if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
I was so poor growing up. If I wasn’t born a boy, I’d have nothing to play with.
Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you forget the question.
H/T M Kohl
Quantitative Easing......
....adding fuel to the fire!
Rico writes.....
The WSJ today cites a study giving the US a 1-in-5 chance of a depression. Makes me think of Clint Eastwood saying "feeling lucky today punk?"
- NOT good odds.
Twice since 1870 the US had severe financial events where GDP and consumption fell by more than 10%.
- 1917-21 <16%> post WWI
- 1929-33 <25%> pre WWII
Actually, the study looked at the macroeconomic histories of 34 countries and found a 28% probability of a depression happening.
-----
To cheer myself up I read a story on Bloomberg. After 25 bank failures in 2008, and 16 failures so far this year, the FDIC fund balance will approach zero or turn negative because of the 'drain' on their funds. Translation=INSOLVENT.
- Well, until they print more paper money.
While we COULD be out of trouble by 2010 if left alone...thanks to the pressing need to "do something" (read: government intervention making things worse, not better) I'm looking at 2012 before there is any hope of recovery...
Cheers, Team Obama! Happy Days Are Here Again!
Animal Welfare : Adopt-a-cat.......
The Animal Welfare Charities are asking for the public's assistance in adopting stray kittens.
I never forward these bloody things because they pray on our compassion, but this one got to me. See if you can help and have a heart - save these kitties.
Anyone interested should contact an Animal Welfare Charity urgently as these little cuties have no home for the harsh winter.
I took 2.
H/T Old Dude
News.....
SA idle farmers face losing land. South Africa don't want to go the same way as Zimbabwe.
Former minister slams 'national catastrophe' of teenage mothers addicted to benefits. Norfolk is kneee deep in the scrounging little sluts.
Ministers to pump £100billion into economy as Bank prepares to cut rates AGAIN. From where?
How Jobzilla ate your future! Public sector pay and perks - paid for by YOU - will cripple this country for years to come. Not if we sack the bastards.
Dumbed down and badly run, but ITV must be saved to challenge a smug, bloated, Leftie BBC. Just get rid of the TV licence, that will cut the BBC down to size.
Terror for 1,200 Britons as Somali pirates with rocket launchers attack cruise ship. Bring back the Q ships. I don't know if the British Merchant fleet still have to have reinforced decks to take guns in the event of war. There again a 65ft Princess with a brace of miniguns could be a lot of fun.
M*A*S*H-style mobile army hospitals could be run entirely by robots. A mechanical Hawkeye!!
ANDREW ROBERTS: The obscenity of giving Ted Kennedy a knighthood. He should be told to f**k off.
The atrocity in Pakistan highlights a web of terror that spans the world. And we are not taking it seriously enough.
MICHAEL BURLEIGH: Forget Afghanistan and Iraq, will World War III start in Pakistan? Probably. Tactical strikes will not win this one. We need to prepare to get 'strategic'.
Princess Anne visit to Gibraltar stirs up tensions. Hee hee.
MoD Chinook delays 'endanger' troops. And not a single civil servant will pay for this travesty with his job.
Venezuela's Hugo Chavez tightens state control of food amid rocketing inflation and food shortages. Venezuela will go the way of Zimbabwe. Oil revenues will not be enough to save it from this marxist madman.
Leading Gaza militant killed in Israeli air strike, threatening to reignite tensions in region. Not a militant, a terrorist.
Ruling further weakens hunting ban. The ban is as good as dead. Tally Ho.
Childcare failures put thousands more at risk, Audit Commission reveals. Social services are a socialist run shambles.
Darfur war crimes court orders arrest of President Omar al-Bashir. Thousands are about to die without proper militray protection.
Why the Pakistan badlands must be tamed. No chance. Well not 'conventionally'.
and finally....
Rush Makes Obama An Offer He Can’t Accept. Obama will have to face up sooner or later.
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